Mini Update

 LAST NIGHT---My family and I drove up to Salt Lake to Eccles theatre to attend a "Mat and Savanna Shaw" Christmas concert. It was the perfect way to lead into the holiday season with a message of hope about our Savior, Jesus Christ and remembering what he has done for us. I especially loved taking a little time away from being home and just getting into the spirit of what this holiday is about. I am grateful for the happiness and peace that comes from striving to be like our Savior, not only during Christmas time---but all year through. He is the greatest gift that any of us could ever want in this world & I know he's stuck with me through everything that life's had to offer. He has reminded me that I can do hard things and trust in him--no matter the circumstances I find myself in sometimes. He never fails to bring peace to my heart when I need it the most among so many other things along this mortal journey. It was heartwarming while at the Christmas concert to listen to songs about our Savior and not being centered on what gifts we'll have under our tree. He went about doing so much good for others & this holiday season I really hope to implement that in to my own life. I am grateful for his guidance and comfort in my life more than I can express. He continuously reminds me that I am not alone & even if I have made mistakes or done something I never should have-- He already took care of it. 

Some of my favorite songs I heard last night:

The First Noel

Breath Of Heaven

Piano Smash-Up (Believe from the Polar Express & Let It Go, from Frozen)

Where Are You Christmas? (From How The Grinch Stole Christmas)

Jingle Bells

Angels We Have Heard On High

I am incredibly grateful to celebrate the birth, life and example of my Savior Jesus Christ throughout this holiday season. He is the gift and nothing could ever replace what he did for me so many thousands of years ago--so that I could be here today. He showed compassion towards everyone whether they deserved it or not which to me, is something I want to share with people. I am so grateful to have the gospel in my life every day and being reminded of what I can do better in striving to follow the one who gave his life, so we could be here. I am grateful for his patience with me as I learn to navigate through difficulties that life may throw or want to help me understand. I am grateful for my testimony of him and want to do all I can to strengthen it so others will do the same. 

Free Write

May 2022 (Hilary Weeks Music)

I have obviously written up quite a bit on this artists music and it has kept me sane throughout times in my life when I didn't know what to do. It has given me opportunities to reflect and deeply think about what I'll need to do better as I look forward into this next year. I am grateful for the inspiration and peace music gives me whenever I need it to lift my spirits on a regular basis. It has definitely given me a lot of extra time to remember what I can do and not pretend like things in daily life are too hard which sometimes anxiety does for me. Here are some of my favorite songs from this artist: Be Where You Are, Brave, Soul On Fire, There Is One, That's Who I Am, Discovering Me, Past The Point, The Waiting Place, etc.

July 2022 (NACDD Conference - DC Trip)

Minus how crazy it was to get home from this trip, I was incredibly grateful to have participated with my colleagues in an event that I'd never heard of before. I am grateful for the opportunity that I had to see just a few of the sites that our nation's capital has to offer. I really enjoyed getting to learn more about specific topics such as: Disability Inclusion in Literature, What lessons we took away from the past two years. I'm grateful for the experiences and lessons I took from this more than anything. I am not sure what other new travel adventures I will get to have in the distant future, but I sure cannot wait to adapt and grow so much more as a person. 

September 2022 (USILC Meeting)

Regardless of the fact this meeting went by a lot faster than it would've gone if I had done it over a laptop computer at home. I really liked being with my colleagues in person and getting to learn from then which at times feels more intimidating than it should. I was really grateful for the opportunity to express my opinion and share what needs to happen within the disability community. It was probably more of a reminder to me about why I love what I do with good people, who genuinely care and want the disability community to be a safe place.

November 2022 (Council Training)

I genuinely tried my hardest to learn as much as I could & participate with everyone else in attendance, which if you ask me is another story. I am trying with all my heart to make sure as a council member--- they are maintaining boundaries on a consistent basis and trying to be a good example for those around them. It's been a little stressful for me at times to not wish things did not feel so overwhelming with all that I have to adapt myself into these roles. 

New Goals For 2023:

- Continue to take care of myself on a regular basis and maintain boundaries with people. 

- Learn as much as I can about disability related issues & avoid the ones that will set off triggers.

- Impact the lives of everyone around me and remembering to focus on what is at hand. 

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 January 2022 (Self Advocacy Session)

Two of my colleagues presented on a topic that I am very passionate about and hope to continue sharing with individuals in the disability community. I was very fortunate to have participated in their session--- not once but twice on the same day. It was incredible to learn from them about what it means to be a good self advocate and speaking up for ourselves--no matter what situation we are faced up against. I am truly grateful to not only work with them on a regular basis, but to call them my friends and people who I know will never stop trying to make a difference. 

February 2022 (Night To Shine)

It was truly one of the most unforgettable nights ever and loved getting to spend time with my friends. I am grateful to participate in an event where I can be reassured of God's love for people with disabilities-- all over the world. It was such an amazing night filled with smiles, laughter and memories that I know will be cherished forever. We danced the night away, received our prom queen tiaras and walked down stairs as we listened to our favorite songs, etc. 

March 2022 (Who is a woman in my life that I admire?)

LONG STORY SHORT---I mentioned one of my colleagues as someone who I admire and look up to so much more than I can put into words. They have welcomed me with open arms and given me reasons with never giving up on what is I can do. I am incredibly grateful for their example to me of what it truly means to be a self advocate, disability leader, mentor and friend towards others. I am grateful for their dedication to making the independent living community here in Utah--such a wonderful place and helping me realize what my true potential is to follow my dreams. 

April 2022 (Lessons Learned)

Minus all of the details I could share, this last year gave me opportunities to refocus on what I can do better and not worry so much about things. It does make me realize the potential I have to overcome anything that life throws at me and remembering to take care of myself when it is necessary. Sharing my time and talents with two governor appointed councils is truly an experience that I am so grateful for. It does feel a little overwhelming when there is so much to learn and take away from every virtual or in person meeting that I make an effort to attend. I legitimately know this is an important assignment for me to continue learning and understanding what it is I applied for. 

June 2022 (NINJA Conference)

This was my first time in over ten years that I could not participate like I used to. It was heartwarming to return back to what I dearly loved so much and not being as involved like I was before-- certainly if not more pulled at my heart strings. It was incredible to be reunited with great advocates who are going to change the world and make it an even better place. I am grateful for the memories this conference in particular gave me as I kept going back year after year. I will never forget the gratitude that I had in my heart as I look towards what my future holds and hoping for the best. 

August 2022 (Major Change)

LONG STORY SHORT--It was definitely one of the most bittersweet moments I ever experienced & one that I will keep close to my heart. I truly loved serving with my friends who wanted to share their input or advice in regards with making the lives of people with disabilities, a lot better. There were lots of tears rolling down my cheeks as I listened to the heartfelt words my friends were asked to share with me. I definitely was not prepared for this in any way and had to know there will be more opportunities- for me to keep growing as a self advocate. 

This year in 2022 has been at times an emotional rollercoaster of mixed feelings and changes I was not clearly prepared for. I have needed to come to terms with realizing that boundaries will keep my mental health in a good place and not leaving me off the deep end. It's also given me unforgettable experiences that I will cherish forever and can only hope more show up this next year in 2023. I continue to process almost everything with more tenderness than ever before and still have lot more to keep learning along this journey. 

(To Be Continued)

New Stories

Legislative Training 2023 (Final Decision)

After much contemplation & debate in my head--- I decided to give this event another chance in the hopes that my anxiety will not be easily triggered as it was before. I had a lot of anxiety inside my heart during a miniature session that I remember being left with emotional frustrations about. I ended up reaching out to one of my colleagues and simply asking them to pass me on the unseen agenda once the event is closer. I am obviously nervous with how things will leave me once I step out of that room & walk away with a big smile on my face. I am not certain if that will end up being the case or not this next year, but I will be very grateful to not have anymore frustrations on my plate. 

Missing Out (Mini Version)

I have to end up missing a very important visit with my colleagues this next week--due to the fact I will be waiting outside for my bus to show up and take me back home. I am disappointed with not getting to visit or see them once again which is gonna feel like an eternity. I was really looking forward to this time with them and now I will never get to share more of my input on stuff. Sometimes I need to make sacrifices in my leadership roles that I may not want to do in those moments and yet I have no choice but to miss it all completely so I can get back to volunteering at the elementary school. 

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Mini Speech

 Transition Service Presentation (UVU)

I am excited about this upcoming presentation and getting a chance to educate the disability community here in Utah on a very important topic that plays a crucial role in the life of someone with disabilities to know what is out there for them. I may have experienced this a long time ago and yet I have an opportunity to stretch my leadership skills a little more through this presentation. It has been such a long time from the last time I did a presentation on something like this for anyone before and look forward to what these students have to ask or share with me after my experience with transition is finished. I am looking forward to inspiring my neighbor as well as their students to know my experience in transitioning from high school into daily life. I am grateful for any chance I can get to present on something that needs to be addressed and brought to light. I am really looking forward to what these students want to know not only from me as the guest speaker, but learning how to find those resources they can look into for accomplishing their goals. I may not know nearly as much as I would like to about this kind of stuff and trying to do my best in spreading awareness in regards to what individuals with disabilities can do instead of what they cannot. I have created my own little Power-Point presentation with photos in it from my past experiences with transition and giving the students a chance, to not only listen to what I have to share---but visually see what I have achieved. There's another week before this takes place and cannot wait for a chance to spread my message of hope with an incredible group of self advocates. 

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Untitled Post

After receiving some much needed advice--I have decided to give myself a chance and try this one more time. I will be attending yet another council training that should turn out a lot better than the one I attended four years ago. It was not exactly the kind of outcome I had wanted to see myself go through and yet there was not much of anything I could do to make things easier. I ended up with my feelings severely  hurt in a way that no one should ever have to face in their lifetime and somehow after standing up for myself in that situation-- I was somehow able to heal from that period. I definitely would not reconsider attending an event that I know will help me learn how to be a legitimate board member of a council that holds such a special place in my heart. Obviously, I may not even talk much or give any input on stuff that we discuss as a group, but I am confident it will feel a lot less traumatic than before. I am hopeful my anxious self will be in a good place which if ya must know still needs some work leading up to this and I can focus on what is at hand. I am truly grateful for the opportunity to serve on USILC and make improvements along the way which if you ask me is a lot harder than I would have anticipated. It has been an emotional rollercoaster for me to not feel out of place or be dealing with anxiety on a consistent basis whenever I join in on a virtual meeting or event. I am just simply doing whatever it takes to push through my challenges and not look silly whenever I share my legit input on stuff that needs to be addressed.

I am determined in trying to make this experience one that I can look back on with a smile and not have teardrops rolling down my face. I have definitely tried my hardest to maintain boundaries with people I closely associate with on a regular basis and not wish things could be easier. I still have a treacherous & long road of me to walk down but I can only hope for the best. I am fairly certain there will not be much for me to worry about once I arrive and get settled down into things. 

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YESTERDAY---was the four year anniversary since my good friend Josh returned back to the other side and life without him has not been quite the same. I am grateful for the privilege that me and my friends had of knowing what an incredible person he was, which if you ask me is not an understatement. He was such a delight to be around & could light up almost any room that he rolled into. He truly left an imprint on my life as a self advocate who knows despite their struggles, that I can do hard things and always remember who I am. Josh was the life of the party when it came to any class or activity that our independent living center put on. He didn't necessarily ever find it awkward if he ended up with all the girls when it came to projects or things we were asked to take care of. 

Long Story Short--- I remember the simplistic and profound quote my good friend had on the back of their memorial service program that read: "It's okay... Just keep swimming!!" At this time in my life, I could not be more than grateful for this reminder of how I need to keep pushing through the hard stuff without ever overthinking what the worst case scenario would be. I know my friend Josh would need me to never look back with regrets on whatever I may have dealt with over the last while or wished had never happened to me in the first place. 

"May not be what you want, but it's what you need." 

I may not have been grateful for this experience in my life when it happened--- but it is clearly what I needed to push through whatever comes next. I am positively certain whatever my friend Josh is up to where he is right now is making me feel slightly better as this journey of mine unfolds. He never failed with putting a smile on my face or making me laugh when I needed it the most--but I am grateful for a chance to have played a small part on his earthly mission.

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Mid Week Update

Nashville Trip (One Week)

I'm excited for the chance to be in a new state that I have wanted to visit and check out--which if you ask me is nothing short of an understatement. I am ready to get away for a couple of days and refocus on what can be done as I persevere through some hard stuff. I know it is gonna be an incredible experience for me and my family to spend time with each other, but also explore what the state of Tennessee has to offer. It's certainly gonna be awhile until I can get myself back into blogging once this trip is done. I am ready for a chance to take care of myself a little more and get some decent photos while my family is there visiting. I know it will end up going by too fast--but there is only so much more I am anxious to see in person while we are there!!!

Council Member Status (Unofficial Story)

LONG STORY SHORT---I have so much more to still learn and get used to... but I am grateful for new opportunities to grow and develop more of my talents. I am obviously trying to have a smooth transition as this continues to be an emotional chapter in my life, but I cannot simply give up to make myself feel better about things. When I am solely committed to anything, I'd never want to pretend like this isn't necessarily if not the biggest leap of faith I have ever taken in my lifetime, but is there not anything I am not capable with being able to do???

I am truly grateful for the chances I have to serve with so many people who love what they do and just want the best for me in my time on the council. I know this was not gonna be an easy transition for me to become used to as things in my life change and try to fall into their places, which I am not sure if it's what I really want or simply need. I cannot necessarily return back to those unforgettable youthful days of mine but I am determined to keep being a good example for others as much as I can be possible. I am obviously not sure what other adventures lie in my path between now and then--but if I do end up with a decision to be made I will let you know. 

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Future Plans

Back To School (Next Thursday)

I was originally planned to return back to the local elementary school yesterday afternoon & ended up being rescheduled to help out next week. I am really excited to be back where my volunteering journey started and especially since with all that happened two years ago, it will feel so nice to be back in a 3rd grade classroom again. I am grateful for a chance to help with anything that needs to be done and get to know those kids a little better, which I am sure will take some time--but I'm perfectly okay with it. 

People First Member???

I have obviously not made a decision yet about this, but I am trying to contemplate on whether I want to be involved with the People First of Utah. I did it a long time ago with my independent living center, but attendance was not very good among other issues that made it extra hard for me to participate on. I think serving alongside with my friends would be so fun and give me a chance to learn some new things about making the disability community on our society a better place for everyone. 

Regular Council Member 

Serving on USILC continues to be a rewarding experience for me, but it has come with difficulties in realizing that my official youthful days are over with and that continues to remind me that I have a lot more growing up and maturing to do. It's obviously a different vibe from what I was used to for such a long time and not being able to have that anymore is tough for me to say the least--but I know things will get better. I may end up having to mirror what other council members are doing to get used to stuff like this and I am still not certain what that means exactly-- but all I can do is just hope for the best in what does come in my path. I am obviously kind of an outsider when it comes to council meetings like this because it is completely starting all over from the beginning and yet I feel as though my involvement is either needs a boost or just extra time for me to adapt myself into. I didn't know what I was walking myself into when I applied to be on USILC and felt like I just kept making one mistake after the next without realizing my participation was very small and fresh all at the time. However, I can only hope for things to keep me at ease without too much trouble and make a good impression on everyone who I still feel like know more than I do about a lot of things, which is not something I am not gonna lie about. #ItsTheTruth.

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EARLIER TODAY---I was honored with my YLC service award & could not be more than grateful to have gotten recognized for the dedication I put into making that committee successful. I may never not know what an incredible chapter of my life that was for me as time went by a little too fast and simply wanting to leave an imprint on everybody's heart. It's obviously hard for me to look towards a future-- without this committee being in it and yet I know my heart cannot wait for what happens next. I am so humbled to have gotten a chance to serve with the best people ever and learning from them on all those meetings we had every other month. 

This award is sitting on my bedroom shelf and I can look at it everyday reminding me of the legacy I was able to leave my friends behind with. I am grateful for the ways this committee helped me to learn about-- what it means to be a good leader and advocate in the disability community. It has been such an humbling experience for me to look back on what has motivated me to stick with doing what I love and yet I am not here to make sure that continues without stopping any time soon. 

LONG STORY SHORT----I ended up giving one of my colleagues the biggest hug ever and shedding all these tears down my face which if you ask me was most likely expected. I felt overwhelmed with so much gratitude in my heart for having done what I could to make the committee, what I know it will continue to be as the years go on. It's never easy for me to not get attached to something and have the hardest time in trying to let go from it to new stuff. I know there are so many more opportunities left in this world for me, to take chances on and not miss out on unless I make the decision to hold myself back?? I am grateful for USILC who went out of their way to give me this award and honor me for my years of service--which I'll admit feels like only a short length of time. This experience is one that I will cherish forever and keep very close to my heart throughout the rest of my self advocacy journey. 

Switched Over (Part Two)

 

Minus the blog post I shared on here yesterday---I am not sure if this will make any sense at all or help me feel better going forward in the disability community. I genuinely feel like a small fish in a big pond where I know there only more lessons to be learned along the way. It is obviously a different vibe than I would have anticipated going into this council and sometimes I visibly feel like everybody knows more about things than I do. 

Two of my colleagues have reassured me that I'm doing great & not trying to ruin what is at hand. I know my involvement seems a little insignificant at this moment and can only imagine all the new opportunities that lie ahead for me. There will be ups and downs along this journey which are not going to be unnoticed, as I continue learning what it means to be a legit board member who cares about their friends getting the best resources they will need to live in society.

Long Story Short--- I know this journey is not gonna be an easy one for me and I am comforted with recognizing that I'm still in good hands. I have so much more to bring onto these leadership roles and trying my hardest to not make the same mistakes I did in the past--which if you ask me have been able to teach me more than I deserve. I shed a lot of tears knowing that my presence was not where it had to be and I continued to let my emotions take over things. I'm not perfect in any sense of the word & yet I am hopeful things can settle down once I mirror what others are doing to make this experience that will be cherished for a lifetime. 

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Switched Over

EARLIER TODAY---I participated in one of my governor entity meetings over Zoom and little did I have any idea of what a major adjustment it would turn up to be. I dearly loved being involved on the so called "Youth Side" of things and now that has been turned upside down--all simply because I had to grow up & move on. I legitimately feel like an outsider who has absolutely no idea what lies ahead of them and just simply hoping for the best in my future. I am fairly certain they are going to be other chances for me with council members to be educated on what needs to be done for the disability community--but right now it is extremely hard not being able to overcome. I genuinely want to be a good board member of USILC and do whatever it takes to leave an imprint on the hearts of everyone I get to work with--which if you ask me, will be a dream come true. 

I'm not necessarily prepared for whatever lies in my path and can only hope for the best to come heading down this road. I am not sure what unknown places or goals I will have set out for myself---but I am just genuinely hoping for a successful outcome in whatever comes down my path. I am not necessarily one of those people who handles changes like this very well and only perceives the worst case scenario in every situation life has ever given them. 

(More To Come)

Packed Show

LAST NIGHT----My twin sister and I along with our best friends went to attend the Big Time Rush concert on their 2022 Forever Tour at the USANA amphitheater. It was definitely one of the greatest experiences ever as we got to watch our favorite band perform live in concert and squeal with all the excitement we could possibly bring to the show. We absolutely loved every song that they performed which if you ask me was not anything of an understatement and we could not help but cheer all of the guys on from our seats!!! 

The entire amphitheater was packed to the rims with fans of every age and I'm glad we were not the only girlies who were excited to be there. We had such a blast singing along with the guys and dancing in our spots throughout the entire show!!! I especially loved hearing all of the classic songs that they did on the show during their nickelodeon days and remembering how much happiness they brought me when I just simply needed it was a dream come true!! 

I had never attended a Big Time Rush concert before and to admit it was an unforgettable experience isn't much of an understatement. I absolutely loved getting to see what an incredibly talented group of singers they are and man I was more than impressed with their performance!!! It was such a treat for me along w/ my friends to watch these guys do what they love so much and having not watched their show on a very popular television network (expect for one episode) I wanted to see what one of their concerts was gonna be like. 

We also ended up buying ourselves the coolest BTR shirts ever and wearing them the entire concert which if you must know was probably my favorite part. I loved showing my support for BTR & just simply being there to see their first tour in over a decade, unfold right in front of me. I will admit that James who is a singer in this group is probably my favorite and talking about how handsome he is---- that's a completely different story!!! 

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Late Night

To easily admit that I'm stoked for the chance to attend this concert is nothing short of an understatement--because I could not be more than thrilled to share this experience with my best friends. I have never seen these band perform in concert before and I cannot wait for us girlies to dance the night away, pretty much sing our hearts out and smile until it hurts!! There is obviously going to be more for me to share with you all once this unforgettable event gets closer, but you will need to wait up for it :) I am probably gonna end up fangirling once those guys hit the stage and make every single girl squeal from the top of their lungs---all around the USANA amphitheater while we enjoy the best night ever!!! 

(To Be Continued) 

Final Bang

YESTERDAY--- I participated in my final meeting with a committee that I have loved for such a long time and making a tearful exit was harder than I expected. It did take a little longer for me to assist my best friend with getting them onto Zoom and tried my hardest to do what I could--but to make this very long story short-- they ended up joining us and I could get onto things. I was very grateful that my vice chair stepped up their game to help me out with stuff and they did a beautiful job!! I was very impressed with how they carried themselves in a position that I have never had to ask them to do and yet I could not have been more proud of their effort to make sure things were on course. 

Awhile later into the meeting--- I was able to get all caught up on what they discussed as a group and then it was my turn to be in the spotlight. All of my friends were asked in an email to share heartfelt words with how I have made an impact on their lives as I served on the committee. It was incredibly heartwarming for me to hear how many lives I was able to leave an imprint on their hearts in some way or another. I also did have tears rolling down my face as I listened to each of my committee members share their thoughts and I wrote up a letter that I wanted to read out loud to them before things ended. It could not have been perfect and eloquently said as I read through all that I had come up with to share with everybody. 

Long Story Short---I am looking forward to what lies ahead for me in the future and whatever USILC has in store for me will never cease to help me grow into the disability leader I need to become. I already miss everyone so much and they left a much bigger impact on me, than I ever could have on them which if you ask me is not an understatement. I love you all so much and look forward to seeing what the future has in store for every single of them. 

Signing off for the last time as your YLC Chair, (2021-2022)

Courtney Edgington 

Mini Preview

Advisor Role??

Not sure if this will end up happening for me--But I would be incredibly grateful for a chance to learn more about being a leader in the disability community, but I have to remember they are probably better candidates for that role if you ask me!! I am excited for my involvement with the non profit organization that I dearly love so much and can only hope to make a good impression on my new colleagues. It was a very sentimental moment for me hearing the kind words of my friends, who made me tear up a lot more than I'm positively certain I was able to make them. It was heartwarming for me to learn how I made an impact on their lives made me realize that no matter where I am in this world, I will continue to do what ever it takes to keep making my voice heard. 

YLC Chair Plaque: 

I've not received this yet and look forward to seeing what it looks like in a couple of weeks!! It was really bittersweet knowing that my time with these extraordinary people had to come to an end, but I am grateful to have something I can look back on with a smile on my face. I look forward to putting it in my bedroom somewhere it can be kept safe and remind me of what I dedicated the past three and a half or four years of my life to. (More about this later!!!)

(To Be Continued)

Business Trip

NACDD Conference (Mini Story)

I'll admit that serving on two governor appointed councils has at times, made me feel like I'm a little bit of an outsider who wishes they knew a lot more in regards to disability awareness. It's obviously hard when I feel like everybody else knows more than I do, because they have more experience advocating for people with disabilities and I am just tagging along for the ride.

It was thoroughly enjoyable to learn about what other developmental disability councils are working on in their states and trying to get ideas from them in regards to making the UDDC better. I attended two break- out sessions that I really liked so much and was able to learn about ways we can make disability inclusion a part of literature, etc. I was able to share my feelings on what we learned from not being in the epidemic and trying to see how much we could grow from our experiences in it. 

Hotel Room Key Problem (Tenth Floor)

To make this very short--- I ended up going to the wrong number room in the hotel we were staying at and they had to call an engineer to come up and fix my entire door lock because the battery inside of it-- had died itself out. After waiting for a little period of time, the engineer person came up to my floor and helped me fix the door lock where you insert your room key into. Luckily, I was able to get into my room without any problems during the remainder of my stay there in Washington was a lot more pleasant and comfortable once I noticed my room temperature was set at 68 degrees. *(Much earlier that evening after getting into the hotel, I walked into my room and it was set at 62 degrees!!! Burr!! Talk about being extra cold when I just wanted to be in a nice warm bed and relax after a very long day of traveling in airplanes all day!!)

Coming Back Story (Mini Version)

We boarded the airplane that was going to fly us from DC all the way to Newark, New Jersey and then we would go from there back to Salt Lake. Our flight ended up getting delayed and canceled without any kind of notice whatsoever and being left stuck in the DC airport until we were able to make all of the new arrangements we needed to reschedule our flight to Chicago. There was apparently bad weather in New Jersey that would make the aircraft being unable to land safely. We were told that it would be an hour and forty five minute wait until they knew of anything else leading up to getting us back into Utah, which at the time felt an eternity because anything that I had expected to not go wrong ended up going in that direction. We were asked to deplane the airplane as well as gather all of our belongings and head back inside of the DC airport for what was supposed to be a four hour layover in New Jersey. We ended up having to rest up in the airport which if you ask me is not the best place to unwind from a business trip, but all of us made the best of what we had at the time. To make this story less complicated-- Our executive director had us grab all of our essentials that we'd need to have as we would have an overnight stay in Chicago. I was lucky enough to have grabbed all that I needed to make sure I was prepared and ready to go for tomorrow as we would finally head back home. (They did not necessarily feed us too much on the airplane which I did find rather odd because when you are on a flight for that period of time, all I wanted to do was have something in my stomach to hold me over.) #LikeForReals 

We had rescheduled our connecting flight from DC all the way to Chicago...but little did we know that was not going to end up being the case. There was a really bad rain and hail storm in Chicago and they were unable to land the plane, which lead to my anxiety being a lot worse than it needed to be. I forgot to mention that the unexpected turbulence that we felt like was as though we were riding on a rollercoaster, believe it or not--it's true!!! The pilot announced they would have to make a pit stop in Indianapolis which was right in front of us and at this point I just wanted everything to return back to normal and we could get on with the rest of our trip.


Prior to this happening I really tried my best to keep a smile on my face and yet the tears came, because I just simply wanted things to work out for us. (Luckily, I was able to get some comforting words and a very nice hug from my executive director who genuinely reassured me of knowing it would all be okay.) #TalkAboutAFirstTimeForEverything.

We finally made it back to Chicago and ended up booking a short night stay at the exact hotel that I competed at for the 2019 national miss amazing summit. It brought back a lot of memories for me as I walked into those doors and remembering the excitement that I had knowing it would be a once in a lifetime opportunity for me to share with people what was really important to me. Me and my colleague had a chance to quickly grab a bite to eat before heading to find our hotel rooms for the evening. We finally got a chance to get all cleaned up and off to bed for the night--which if you ask me after the crazy day we experienced--it was so very much needed!! (Did I forget to mention that the airplane was old & had no air conditioning whatsoever?? Yes...No air conditioning and wearing a mask on your face inside of an old airplane with a lot of people crammed into one spot is a lot harder to deal with than you would think--Believe me!!!) 

Long Story Short---We ended up making it back into Salt Lake safely and then was able to find my mom after not having clear directions about where to find her outside of the airport. I did enjoy being involved with this event in a state that I have always wanted to visit and check out---which if you must know it was a dream come true!! I wished had an extra day with seeing a lot more sights and sounds of what DC had to offer but we had to get back home sooner than later. 

(End Of Post) 

Free Write

NACDD Conference (Two Weeks)

Yay!!! I am excited for this opportunity to attend an event in the historic state of Washington, DC and in hopes of getting a chance to sight see while trying to capture photos of how beautiful that state is. I look forward to learning about what other developmental disability councils are working on and trying to find some ideas for our UDDC to put into our curriculum. It is definitely gonna be an experience to remember as I navigate through this world of what DD councils do on a regular basis and trying to have a lot of fun at the same time!!! I can only hope this experience will be one that I can look back on with a smile & just simply make the best of whatever comes in my path. I am very excited to learn one of our colleagues who will be presenting at this event and look forward to hearing what they have prepared to make their session one that nobody will soon forget.

Brave (Official Lyric Video)

Untitled Post

One of my good friends reached out to me about sharing my perspective in regards to what disability pride means to me and since I had missed my chance last year, I decided it was the best time for me to share a little bit about myself. I will give you a brief glimpse into what I prepared for this social media post that will be getting shared within the next few days ahead:

"I have a genetic disorder or a learning disability called Fragile X Syndrome, which basically means that my X chromosomes do not work like they are supposed to and are literally hanging themselves by a thread. (Just an FYI: It can be cured with medications that I have taken my entire life to help me focus and concentrate on whatever it is I am working on to help me not be distracted.) This has been a part of my life forever and can only imagine what would happen long after there is a very legitimate and permanent cure for something like this---I will not struggle anymore with things that have been difficult for me to understand."

It's been really hard to keep this on the down low for some time and the more posts you see on social media will be in regards to this topic. I am grateful for the opportunity to share a little bit of my story, which is a lot more than I've ever shared with people outside of my friendship zone. It's been such an ongoing struggle for me to hide all of this from people and not want to let them know more about what kind of person I am rather than being known for my visible challenges. I may tear up easier than most people in this world do because I'm such a tender hearted person who knows when they have made an absolute mistake to reflect on ways they can fix it rather than fall apart into a million pieces. I am truly grateful for this experience to be highlighted in a post that everyone who knows me will read through and hopefully be inspired. 

(Stay Tuned For More) 

One Month

It's hard for me to believe that in less than a month, I will conclude my service with being on the best disability leadership committee ever. I am grateful for the memories and experiences that I was able to share with my friends who made it an adventure every time we had a meeting over Zoom. We definitely learned and grew so much more as individuals than I think we ever could have imagined possibly seeing ourselves as in a million years from now. I am grateful for the heartfelt moments we shared together as a group and even when it was hard to keep a smile on my face, I tried my hardest to get as much out of the meetings we had as I could instead of just leaving you all hanging out in the dust. 

It was such an incredible journey for me to serve as a committee member, secretary and chair of this YLC so much more than you could ever know. I truly loved being able to create our meeting agendas and make them look cute in anyway that I could while keeping a professional outcome, which if you must know was not something I took lightly. I loved being able to listen to your ideas on what we could work towards with making our committee the best ever and trying to never lose sight of what we can do rather than focusing on what we can't do. I especially liked being able to come up with and answer our icebreaker questions as we prepared for what we had on our agendas to look forward to talking about. I will greatly miss being on our meetings every three months and learning from you all about what we can do to make the community that we live in a better place. 

I am so grateful for the unforgettable memories and lessons this committee taught me about what it meant to be a leader within the disability world. It was such a delight to be in charge of what we needed to have a lot of deep conversations about how we could make this community we live in better and accepting of lots of people like ourselves in society. I will greatly miss you all so much and cannot wait to keep working w/ USILC in the distant future on ways I can be more engaged with disability related issues, which I know-- are still tough for me to understand sometimes but I can only hope for the best outcomes possible as I move forward with my advocacy journey. I love you all so much and wish you all the best of luck as you continue on with things that I cannot wait to hear about if we ever see each other again!!! 

(To Be Continued) 

Five Years

Summer 2017-2021

FIVE YEARS AGO----I decided to quit my store maintenance job of almost two years and wanted to take a chance with being involved on the speakers network. It has been such an incredible experience for me to educate individuals with disabilities about issues that affect our everyday lives and getting that message of hope out there, that they can accomplish many of their dreams. I am grateful for the confidence boost this experience has given me over the past five years and learning how to be more comfortable when it comes to talking in front of large groups. I have no legitimate plans to stop advocating for the disability community and hoping to continue this platform of mine where I can keep getting my voice heard, rather than being silenced from people. It's almost hard to believe five years has come and gone so quickly.. but I am very certain there are only more people to educate about issues that need to be addressed, which if you ask me is not much of an understatement. It has been such a delightful experience to be asked to come back to not only but a few disability conferences or workshops to teach about these topics that we need to bring to the table. How did these many years arrive and leave so quickly?? It has been such an amazing journey for me to take on with my fellow colleagues and learn more about what we can do to spread awareness about how we can make the disability community a better place than it is. 

(To Be Continued)

New Song

Hilary Weeks - Soul On Fire

If you've stuck with me on this blog for the past six years, I have obviously written up about some of my favorite songs and yet here I am again doing the exact same thing. This song I have linked into my blog post today has become one of my favorites and I cannot stop replaying it multiple times. It has reminded me so many times about who I really am and what I can do regardless of what others think--which if you must know is a completely different story. It's been a whirlwind of emotions for me to reach this point in my life and not feel the least bit of gratitude for what I have accomplished. I have neve felt more than just slightly envious about not being more involved with my favorite things after this summer ends and I can't imagine what else life has in store for me, once I say a tearful goodbye to what has shaped me into who I am now. 

It's always hard for me to write up about songs that I love so much & trying to sound eloquent as to why it has impacted my life as much as it has. I am grateful for the peace it has given to my heart as I learn about why I have to leave things behind for others to love as much as I did. I felt disappointment with pretending not take what I wanted to do one last time personally and yet this week has definitely shown me, that all I can do is just keep my soul on fire. I'm certain that my colleagues and friends know I have so much more that I need to offer towards the disability community as these next few years pass on. I know there is a lot more unconditional love and potential within myself that needs to be shared, whether I am ready for that or not. I know my heart will always belong to where this journey of mine began and can only hope to see myself grow into the person I need to become. 

I know this is a very spiritual song for those who are reading through this, but I am hopeful things can only continue to make me the person I need to be in the future. I am grateful for the ongoing support & love that my friends have given me as to whether or not I deserved it throughout the last few years. It's been heartwarming for me to see how I am never alone when things get tough and uncertain--but I am grateful to know there is a lot more I can do to tackle my problems. This song has helped me feel a lot more at peace when my anxiety has gotten itself out of control and wanting to get in the way of every single trial that life has ever given to me. #SoulOnFire #HilaryWeeksMusic

(End Of Post)

Untitled Post

 Self Determination Presentation (Next Wednesday)

One of my colleagues and I are excited to teach about this important topic at the tenth annual NINJA youth leadership conference next week. I am looking forward to giving this message of hope for those delegates who will be participating with us and learning about what it means to be self determined. It's definitely a treat to return back to a conference where my self advocacy journey began and luckily this experience will be one to remember. We also have a fun activity incorporated with our presentation that hopefully everybody likes answering questions to and not feeling bored out of their minds, if you know what I am saying??? #NinjaForLife

Friendly Send-Off (August 2022)

I'm not certain if this will end up being a surprise or just one of those heartfelt experiences that comes once in a lifetime?? It is definitely going to be a very tender moment for me as I see my time with this youth leadership committee come to a bittersweet end & not knowing what the future holds is a really emotional feeling to think about. I can guarantee there will be tears involved with seeing my years of service with this committee not being needed and realizing my youth days are over will be even more tender hearted than I could ever put into words. I am not ready to grow up and not be involved with an area of my life that I have grown to love so much--but can only hope for the best as I tearfully move on with other things. (More about this later!!!)

(End Of Post) 

Free Entry

Self Advocacy Conference (Next Week)

I'm excited for this conference to kickstart on a positive note and can make up for lost time with all of my friends who I have sorely missed so much. It will be an amazing experience for everyone who signed up to participate with us and hopefully can learn some more things, in regards to being a self advocate within the disability community. I really hope that some of my NINJA friends will be there and can support all of us who have worked so hard into making this conference happen, which if you ask me is a completely and different story for another time. (More about this later on!!!)

NACDD Conference (Travel Process)

All I ever did was send off my issued state identification card in an email and in the hopes it didn't end up getting lost or misplaced somewhere. I am truly hoping this national conference will be an experience for me to remember and learn as much as I can about what other DD councils are working on all over the United States, which if you ask me I'm sure is pretty legitimate stuff. (Hahaha!!! Please stay tuned for more!!)

Ninja Conference Tribute (Repetitive Post)

"TEN YEARS AGO—I decided to take a chance to participate in a disability youth leadership conference & little did I know how much of an impact it would have on my life all these years later. It ended up being one of the best decisions I ever made with trying to learn as much as I could in regards to all that being a self advocate is. I am grateful for the kindness and unconditional love that everyone has shown me throughout these past ten years and just giving me an experience I’ll never forget. It is really bittersweet for me to have to say goodbye to what has shaped me into the person I am today and hope to be in the future. I LOVED all that this conference taught me as I returned back year after year, knowing my heart will forever be a part of this event I will keep close to my heart. I genuinely look forward to seeing what other things my friends will accomplish. Thank you so much for changing my life forever and giving me opportunities that I will keep close to my heart." #NINJAForLife

Headlines

NACDD Conference (Washington)

It's obvious that my chances of being selected for this are not likely and whatever does happen is all in the hands of who makes the final decision. I would love to visit another state in our country that I have never seen before and can only hope to one day see that dream come true. It would be an amazing experience to learn more about what other developmental disability councils are working on to make our lives have a lot more purpose instead of just being excluded from this world. I am not certain my presence will be needed at this national event due to the fact-- I am not as experienced in a lot of things as you would easily think but you get the idea here??? Unless I hear of anything more in regards to this, I will keep you all updated on whatever happens next in my life!!!

People First Conference (Two Weeks)

This unforgettable event cannot arrive soon enough!!! I am excited for a chance to educate and inspire so many individuals with disabilities about the importance of self determination, while including a very fun filled activity that I hope everybody likes. It has been such a long time from when I was able to have any interactions with my friends since the health epidemic arrived & luckily it is completely died itself out of here. I am ready for a chance to make up for lost conversations and laughs that will be shared with every one who will be in attendance with us. Please stay tuned for updates and stories to come!!!

Ninja Conference (Repetitive)

It's been a part of my life for almost ten years and that to me has come and gone a little too fast. I am so grateful for the opportunity to head up to an event I love so much and not being as involved as I used to be has felt really weird. I am definitely going to be the most sentimental person in the room as I make a way through something that I've never looked back with regrets. It has been extremely painful for me-- with not being as involved as I have been in years past and it feels weird all the way around. I am truly saddened that my tender time with this conference has to come to a bittersweet end and not knowing if there will be anything for me in the future is another story. (More about this later!!!)

Free Write

  Youth Member Guidebook (Mini Edition)

EARLIER TODAY---I sent an email to all of my committee members in regards to an idea that has been on my mind for awhile and wanted to get their input. I legitimately wished there had been a youth member guidebook created for not only me, but future youth members who might consider or think about applying to be on USILC. It would have been nice for me to have something I could refer back to if I needed some answers to questions about what my leadership role is on the council and everything else in between. You get the idea here??? I am really excited to know what other members of my committee think about making this happen as we move along with stuff into the future. I truly love this committee with all of my heart & soul which if you ask me is nothing short of an understatement. It has given me opportunities to learn and grow into the disability leader, self advocate, mentor and friend that I want to be for others across the state of Utah. (Please stay tuned for more updates on this later!!!)

Ninja Presentation Update: (Date Change)

I'm excited to announce that my presentation with a colleague of mine has been set in place and I am not so prepared for this to unfold. I know it will bring back lots of mixed emotions in my heart as I walk back onto a campus where my self advocacy journey began and can only hope for an unforgettable experience that is going to leave a mark on this world. I genuinely hope we can make a good impression and have a very heartfelt review from everybody in hopes to return back for future NINJA conferences!!! :) 

(End Of Post)

Untitled Post

Hilary Weeks - Keep Going

It's been an emotional rollercoaster for me to get here and not hide away from what is in my heart. I am grateful for the peace of mind this beautiful song and others have given me, when life was almost a little too unbearable to deal with and relearning lessons on a daily basis. It's obviously not been easy for me to lash out my feelings and not take the time to listen to what is being said... which is something I can make lots of improvements on everyday. I need to keep on going and not pretending to be someone that I'm not meant to be in this world--which sometimes is harder than you would think. I have never felt like this an issue that my heart needs to learn from and understand a little more, that will give me a peace of mind & not worrying about what others think. It has gotten harder for me to see the clearer picture of things here and yet I know is just a little bump in the road, that all of us come across at one time or another. I am so grateful for the opportunities that I have to keep on going and not taking what I do not know as close to heart as I have done way too many times in the past. This mistake of mine is one that I am confident is going to change my perspective on so many things and recognizing why it is so important to not have control over what other people are doing. It has given me a lot of reasons to understand why things in everyday life have to continue happening and keeping my mouth quiet as much as I can possible. I am grateful for the forgiveness that my Savior, Jesus Christ has for me and no matter what mistakes that I have made throughout my lifetime--He's always forgiven and loved me for who I am in his eyes. I love him so much and would not be the person I am today if it not had been for his example. He has allowed me chances to be someone who tries everyday to do better and not affront to what could have happened instead of the other way around.

(End Of Part One)

Mini Break

When I created this blog of mine six years ago---I only had a legitimate goal to write up 279 posts in honor of my favorite television sitcom, "The Big Bang Theory." However, I have been able to overly succeed the limited amount of posts I wanted to share with you all and it has become such an amazing experience for me. I have loved being able to share what is in my heart and getting my message clearly across to people about who I am without trying to impress or draw attention to myself. It's given me so much more perspective in some way I can make improvements with my writing abilities and with four hundred posts later--not making anymore posts until I am in a much better place.

LONG STORY SHORT---My anxiety has again taken over me in ways that I can only hope is slightly temporary and not an forever ride of mixed emotions. It has been extremely hard for me to pretend like this battle of mine is not a real thing that everybody struggles with and yet I have not kept this hidden off anymore. I am not sure if my heart needs me to do this in order to recognize how much of a stronger young women I am or if I am just simply too lazy to blog about stuff on here. Who knows??? 

I didn't legitimately realize that sharing experiences from "A Dancer's Life" would lead me into making this choice but I am not ready to continue blogging until my mental health is taken care of. I am grateful for my friends---who have stuck with me through an experience that I know is an never ending battle, but one that I know I am not the only person who struggles with this on a daily basis--but my inner thoughts need to recuperate themselves a little bit. (This is not necessarily a permanent decision by any means, but one that I have just really needed for some time now and I could not think of a more perfect time to unwind from blogging for what will only be a short period--not a lengthy one unless it needs be.)

(End Of Post)

Mini Stories

BYUWBB Team:

Wishing you ladies all the best as you enter into the NCAA basketball tournament this weekend!! I know you girls are going to put it all out there on the court as you prepare for what I hope will be an amazingly unforgettable experience!! I'd love for you all to know that regardless of whatever the end outcome is, keep in mind that each one of you is incredible and that you gave it a hundred and twenty percent. I look forward to cheering you ladies on from my home and hoping it all turns out well :) I cannot wait to watch you all bring home the title that is on the line this year and can only hope that even if you do not win--all of you are still winners!!! #GoLadyCougars #iBleedBlue 

Volunteering Presentation (Saturday Afternoon)

Once again I have an opportunity this weekend to present on a topic that means a lot to me and one of my colleagues on the speakers network. I am excited for the chance to share about my experiences with being a volunteer in my community and giving back to others without anything in return. I only hope that both of us will make a good impression on everybody who will be participating with us and touch their hearts in some way or another. 

Ninja Planning Committee (Unofficial News)

It's certainly going to be sentimental for me as I participate on this committee again and give it a hundred and fifty percent. I am definitely not prepared for the unexpected tears of gratitude and love that will fall down my cheeks as I make sure this conference ends up successful. I am grateful for this conference and everything it has done for me the past ten years, which if you ask me is nothing close to an understatement. (Stay tuned for more updates!!!)

Ninja Update

Official Presentation Date (June 21, 2022)

I'm so excited that me and one of my colleagues selected a date for us to present on self determination, for the tenth annual NINJA youth leadership conference!!! This holds such a special place in my heart, simply because it is where my self advocacy journey began and if I end up coming off a little sentimental prior to the session--it is just because I love this disability conference so much. It will be such a rewarding experience for me to teach once again and in hopes this presentation gets well received-- from everybody who will be participating with us. I am not certain when I will ever get a chance to teach at something like this again in the distant future, but I will never pass up an opportunity if there ever will be another one!!! 

Minus all of the heartache that I have in regards to not being a mentor, I can wholeheartedly admit there is no end in sight for me to stop advocating for individuals with disabilities and when I am ready for to live on my own-- I will certainly write up about it. I am not particularly sure if that will be happening any time soon and yet I still have a lot of work to do before that chapter of my life begins. I am grateful for the incredible opportunities this conference provided me over the years and look forward to more chances with improving my leadership skills, among everything else in between.

(End Of Post)

Untitled Post

YLC Update (USILC Report)

As being chair of the best disability committee ever, I have an opportunity to give a little brief update to USILC about our previous ninja alumni call and what kind of activity we planned, etc. I did not even hesitate in replying back right away and wanting to give myself a chance in hopes to make a good impression on all the important people who will be listening. Please stay tuned for an update on this later!!! :)

Serving in this leadership position has changed my life so much and can hardly believe things will end before too much longer. It has been such an amazing experience for me to learn and grow into the self advocate, disability leader, mentor and friend that I need to be in this world. I am truly grateful for this opportunity of getting to stretch myself in ways I never imagined possible and continuing to learn as I tread along this experience called life. I have loved getting to see myself realize how important it is to maintain boundaries with people in this field of independent living and trying my hardest to perform-- everything to the best of my ability from here on out.

Self Advocacy Conference (June 2022)

This event will be taken place online and in person within a few months :) I am grateful for the privilege that I have to continue showcasing my leadership skills to others in the disability community. I have really enjoyed getting to be a part of this planning process and once this conference all unfolds right in front of me, it will definitely come into full circle. I am grateful for the incredible people who make this experience such an amazing one and I can only hope to continue being a part of more events in the distant future. Please stay tuned for more updates to come at a later time!! 

(To Be Continued)