Hard Week

I've literally about had the toughest week in my life and never want to see myself needing to face a situation like it again!!! I am truly not the kind of person who wouldn't let something brush off my shoulder, without any idea of what to expect after having relearned this life lesson multiple times!! 

I couldn't even begin to put into words, what an absolute emotional toll it has taken for me over these past several months. I have seriously cried myself to asleep a lot of the time, then realizing that I had no apparent reason to shed any tears whatsoever-- but obviously I had nothing better to do. It has just been a difficult process for me to completely understand what someone else is faced with, to never let their actions effect who I am. I have already dealt with this experience more than once within the last year and there is honestly nothing more I can do, other than slowly move on with my life. I am here today to admit wholeheartedly that life continues to never get any easier, but with help from the one who went through it all for us many centuries ago to make it possible for us to be here. There is not much more I'd like to share with all of you about this unhappy time in my life, but I know all of us are not faced with struggles that encourage us to strive a little harder to be like him. 

I seriously became emotionally drained with all of the many feelings with intense fear and frustration without having realized it wasn't the most appropriate way to fix a problem. I just absolutely hated seeing my trust betrayed by people who obviously have nothing better to do with their lives, than make it immensely more difficult for those individuals who don't have the same challenges. I would honestly like to see myself just standing up for what I've always known true friendship to be and for those of you who cannot see past their own problems, I am feeling sorry about your mentality of not looking at life in a more positive way. There are people who came into my life that made me feel like I was a part of their lives, but then with out zero hesitation just randomly wanted to slap me in the face.



It was even a problem that I didn't absolutely mean to put myself in the middle of and I am sorry for not having known at all what their issues with me were in the beginning. I obviously feel so grateful that I do not have problems with my self esteem and figuring out how to be at ease with the things, that I may never know in a billion years ever have to deal with in my lifetime!!! It is honestly difficult for me to post about this experience and yet feeling as much guilt as I have in my heart, nothing I would think to say to the person would make it less or better for them in anyway.