Tommorrow Night

 

LONG STORY SHORT----I am really excited about having the BYU men's volleyball team coming to our SNAP tomorrow night and teaching us some new skills about a sport they are all passionate about. I really cannot wait to meet the players while learning a little bit about them prior to our activity getting started. It definitely will be a fun filled evening with lots of smiles/laughs to be shared which if you ask me will not be anything short of an understatement. I am hoping that we have a brief appearance by the coolest mascot of all time if he has the opportunity to make an entrance--but only time will tell. I am probably not making this up when I say that I am the most dedicated BYU sports fan ever and love watching our athletes come together in what they love to do while representing our Savior, Jesus Christ. 

I am not particularly sure what else they have planned for us tomorrow night and most likely will bring a couple of BYU volleyball swag back with us after the activity is completed. I am definitely hoping to get some more photos taken with the team while the activity is going on and make some new memories that I know will never be forgotten. I will do everything in my power to keep myself calm and not immediately feel overstimulated by the craziness of what is going on. I am confident that me and my friends will have probably a little too much fun trying to make certain that our time at SNAP is clearly one to remember for weeks to come!!!

I literally have no clue what else lies in store for the team as they continue on with their upcoming seasons of playing BYU volleyball---but I do know we will do all we can to support them in some way or another. I know attending one of their games last year while dancing alongside my best friends was an incredible experience for us that we have never stopped talking about. I know everyone there looked at us like we were obviously crazy people but none of us had a care in the world about what others who were thinking of us at the moment---but we had the best time ever. I cannot wait to hopefully get back to one of their games at some point in the distant future and we can have a solid BYU win inside of that smithfield house!!! 

Personal Heroes

In my adapted needs institute class yesterday, We were asked to make a list inside of a journal or on a piece of paper to write down the names of our personal heroes. We could also put a star next to their name if we wanted to and how they have influenced our lives in one way or another. I would like to share a few of them with you at this time:

*Hero One: My Savior, Jesus Christ

I cannot describe into words what an absolute blessing my Savior, Jesus Christ has been throughout my life. He has given me strength when I didn't think I had it in myself to keep going or wanted to just give him the reins to take over what was going on at the time. I know he is always there for me when I need him to talk to about anything that is weighing on my mind or just simply giving me hope for whatever comes up next in my future. 

In late November of last year, I went through a very difficult time in my life when I was not sure if the Lord was hearing my prayers or if I just needed to simply take him by the hand to get through my situation. I know with all of my heart that he was there to give me peace of mind while I tried to pretend like there was not anything more I could do than just wish to get completely healed. I know that he helped me through this time of uncertainty and knowing with just a little bit of patience--I was going to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I truly love him with all of my heart and have no doubt in my mind that he is going to carry me through whatever difficulties that lie on the covenant path. 

*Hero Two: Kylie Webster

I met this amazing young woman a few short years ago while going into watch a BYUWBB game in the Marriott Center. I immediately didn't hesitate to happily say her name and give her a nice big hug while we visited for a minute. I loved being in her presence so much in that moment and even though we don't know each other personally... I genuinely felt like the Lord put her into my life when I needed it literally more than anything in this world. I did keep in contact with her over social media off and on where I did introduce myself to her which if you ask me was a delight in more ways than one. I truly cannot express my gratitude nearly enough times for the way she has blessed my life and walking into a number of the BYUWBB games last season only to see her smiling back at me, I could not help myself but want to do the same thing back to her. I am truly hoping to get back to some of the home games this next season or let alone if I see her around somewhere in the community to have our picture taken together... which I'm hoping will occur at some point in the distant future. I really love her sweet spirit that she has wherever she goes and the incredible friends that I have seen her interact with. It touches my heart in many ways and knowing she strives each day to be like our Savior, Jesus Christ strengthens my testimony to want to do better in all that I set my heart on. 

*Hero Three: Josh Taylor

This remarkable friend of mine has been on my mind for the last while and cannot imagine how life has continued on without him. I truly miss being around him on a daily basis for activities or classes at our independent living center every single week. He literally didn't mind spending time with the girls if we had to break up into groups whether to cook something or do a craft together. I am grateful for the many ways he blessed my life through his example of seeing the positive in every situation and knowing that I can do the same on this side of the veil is such a comfort to me. I greatly miss his smiling face as well as his presence when he would roll into any room that he entered in on his electric wheelchair. I genuinely hope that he is being treated like royalty in his heavenly home and watching all of the incredible things happening while he is serving others. He is truly one of my heroes that never failed to make me smile or let alone give me a thumbs up when I needed it at any given moment. I greatly miss his positive attitude that he would bring into every situation life threw in his path and handling it with a perspective that all would be well because of our Savior, Jesus Christ's atonement. I look forward to the day when both of us reunite in our heavenly home and take to heart all of the incredible things we were able to do on our earthly journey. 

*Hero Four: Paisley Johnson-Harding

Back in February of 2024---I finally had the opportunity to meet this fantastic young woman shortly after watching a very heartfelt BYU women's basketball game. I didn't hesitate to say that I wanted to meet her for so long only to leave the entire conversation feeling socially awkward. I was literally more starstruck to have finally been in her presence and hopefully the next time we have a chance to see one another again--I will make it an effort to politely reintroduce myself. I would like to tell her face to face what an absolute blessing her example has been in my life the past four years and letting her know that she is continuously in my prayers every single night. I am grateful for the maturity and respect she gives to so many people that she works alongside with in the world of BYUWBB--which if you must know is something I am trying to work on getting better with too. I sincerely have no clue when our paths could end up crossing again in the distant future that I can be as socially appropriate as possible without being too energetic if you know what I mean?? I genuinely aspire to be the kind of young woman that she is in my life everyday and even more importantly like our Savior, Jesus Christ in anything I set my heart on-- let alone want to draw as close to him as I can. I have such admiration for her unshaken courage & faith to keep chasing her dreams while going until she gets them---no matter the obstacles that unexpectedly show up in her path. 



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(To Be Continued)

Rewrite (Part Two)

I just finished up my six year terms serving on another incredible governor appointed entity and working closely with the best of the best in our state. I am truly grateful for the many experiences, adventures, lots of unforgettable moments and lessons that I was able to take away from this journey. I loved getting to be involved with various leadership capacities and making the disability community here in Utah a place that everyone belongs. 

MANY YEARS BACK----I quietly thought to myself about becoming a member of UDDC and not quite knowing what I would be getting myself into. I definitely felt like at the time it was the right step for me as I wanted to continue giving back to a community that provided opportunities I will cherish for the rest of my life. I am thankful for the growth that I have seen in myself and knowing my advocacy work is far from being over any time soon. I am truly blessed to have had the help of my Savior, Jesus Christ through out this journey and believing in me to trust in him every step of the way. I know he was never going to let me do this alone and give me every ounce of faith to keep going whether I wanted to or not. I am grateful for his role in my life and encouraging me to do my best no matter the obstacles that laid in my path that would prevent me from continuing to do what I love. 

As I have contemplated on what this experience has meant to me, is simply to never give up on what I am capable of doing while making our society a better place. I have truly loved getting to meet new people on this journey who are passionate, dedicated, hard working, patient and doing so much behind the scenes to make the disability community what it truly can become. I know my life has been forever changed in the sense of what I have accomplished to make UDDC what it is and their work is not even close to over yet as I hope to stay involved as much as I can possible. I am not particularly sure what I could assist or help with down the road but I know there will be more opportunities to expand my horizons while inspiring so many people to do the same. 

Next Chapter - (Mini Sneak Peek)

LONG STORY SHORT----One of my colleagues sent off a reccomendation email considering my name for an opportunity to serve on the Athlete Leadership Council. It is obviously something I have a lot of questions about and can only hope this will be a possibility for me to expand on my leadership skills for the disability community. I am really not sure what else this opportunity if there is one for me to look into that I can be of help to a population that I love so much and hope to continue seeing growth in those who want to make our world a better place. (Stay tuned for more!!!)

I obviously cannot rewrite about my experiences serving on these two governor appointed councils and wish at times I could have been a little more self aware of what was going on, but knowing I had extra heavenly help on the other side made this truly something to keep close to my heart. I know my years serving were not always the happiest of times for me and trusting in my Savior to help me through it was such a blessing. I am not particularly certain what the future holds for me yet and know whatever does happen for me down the road will be amazing. 

Rewrite

SIX YEARS AGO-----I made a decision to apply to volunteer my time on two governor appointed councils and making an impact on the lives of people with disabilities. I knew in my heart that this opportunity was not going to come around in the distant future and wanted to get to know lots more amazing people. I obviously had a lot of questions running through my mind about what was clearly expected of me in the role as a council member among so many other things. I made a good share of mistakes along this journey that helped me draw closer to my Savior than ever before and to know he would take care of everything else brought peace to my heart. I was able to feel his love for me not only as being one of many council members within the disability community, but as one of his daughters who wanted nothing more than to give this her best possible shot. If you have known me long enough, I did shed a lot of tears and let out emotions that easily should have been kept to myself for long periods of time and as I look back on what this experience taught me is that nobody is expected to know everything or let alone be the perfect council member.

I knew coming into this experience was not going to be easy at times and feeling like maybe I should have waited a little bit longer to be a part of them. I also knew that my role on these councils was so very much needed as well as crucial into what had to be done while participating in every meeting. I am truly grateful for the privilege that I had to serve in various leadership roles and stepping up to the plate when things had to be taken care of in a timely manner. I really loved getting to make new friendships with so many people who are passionate about making sure they are being heard and continuing to be an example to those they meet along the way. I did not necessarily expect changes to happen that were clearly meant to help all of us grow while representing organizations who continue to do so much behind the scenes and cheering me on to keep going. 

One of the biggest lessons I took from this experience is doing your best is all that you can do on being a new council member as well as maintaining respectful and professional boundaries with so many people who dedicate their time to making the disability community a better place. I did not necessarily learn this particular skill very fast in any manner, but it did give me this sense of understanding what is socially appropriate and what is not. I most definitely had to give myself some grace in the process of all this and knowing it's only going to help me trust in the Lord even more than I ever thought possible. He made certain that I was not in this journey alone even when times felt unbearable and next to impossible with all I had on my plate. He was truly with me every step of the way and gave me comfort when it was clearly something I needed at a moment when I almost wanted to give up. I am grateful for his role in my life and giving me the chance to try again while striving to be a disciple of him every time I participated in some kind of an event or whatever the case scenario was. 

Looking back on this experience from six years----I have definitely come a long way from where I was prior to applying to be on these councils that serve the disability community. I learned to be patient with myself a lot more and knowing that everything has a timeline made this experience truly something that will forever be close to my heart. This six year journey was not at times anything but easy for me to say the least and knowing I had a good support system to encourage, motivate, believe in me to do things to my full potential among so many others that led me to where I am now. I know this is only going to be the beginning of what is to come next and can only hope for the best in whatever lies ahead for a new chapter waiting to be opened. I will continue advocating as much as I can possible and being the best version of myself that I can become long after this journey concludes. I know there is a lot more good things out there I can hopefully take part of and learn even more about what this beautiful community has to offer. 

Rewrite Lyric Video - Hilary Weeks

(To Be Continued)

Updates

BYU Adaptive Show Choir (Next Year)

There is no official decision being made or set in stone at this moment---but I am kinda considering the fun opportunity to be involved with the BYU adaptive show choir. I attended one of their concerts a few years back and absolutely loved getting to see the participants get out of their comfort zones to perform a song, dance, or anything they wanted the audience to see. I especially loved the energy inside of the field house with so many fans cheering them on from the stands and making it an experience no one will ever forget. 

I am keeping my fingers crossed that this time next fall in 2027 I have signed up myself for something that I confidently know will impact my life forever. I cannot wait to make new friendships with so many other participants who have been a part of this for some time and learn so much from them. I have wanted to be involved with this show choir for some time but was never able to make it work into my schedule where I had so much going on. 

BYU Basketball Diamond Painting

Minus the option of taking this to show and tell for a SNAP activity... I literally have no idea what my decision will be afterwards to give away my diamond painting to someone else. I obviously would like giving the piece of art to a friend of mine who loves the game of basketball and continuously leaves me stunned with all that they do in working behind the scenes of BYUWBB. I am keeping my head up high and hoping we can make it to some of the women's basketball games this next season if we get just even one chance to watch the team play. #StayTunedForMore

Back To SNAP!!! (Next Week)

I am literally excited to get back into SNAP and have more activities to look forward to as we head into the fall season. I have genuinely missed being with my friends on a weekly basis and making lots of new memories together alongside the other participants who are in attendance. We are having a birthday party for everyone since people had birthdays during the summer months and we were not able to celebrate any of them as an entire group--which if you ask me will be a treat all by itself. 

Terms End

My six year terms serving on two of the best governor appointed entities in our state will come to an end next month and cannot even imagine my life without them. I have truly learned and grown so much as the person who knows they were not going to be perfect in the beginning of a journey that allowed me to be an instrument in the Lord's hands. I throughly enjoyed getting to volunteer my time with some amazing and incredible colleagues who pushed me to do my best in any situation--no matter the circumstances that I was up against. They inspired me to see the good in those I came in contact with and recognizing my full potential was to serve on these boards. 

I obviously didn't know if signing up to be on two councils at the time was a good idea and not to mention the fact I was incredibly nervous about what to do in any given circumstance. I did have my fair share of mistakes along this six year journey and learning to put my trust in the Lord as much as I possibly could without questioning what I had gotten myself into. I definitely came to understand over time that he was going to be in the small details of my life and not leave me wondering what to do next. I am grateful for the comfort and peace of mind he gave me when emotions in my head felt almost unbearable to control but knowing he was not going to let me do this alone was an answered prayer. I know this experience at times was nothing short of easy for me when it came to processing all that this entailed in what has felt like the blink of an eye. 

There are too many unforgettable moments and experiences to be shared right now, but I am grateful for the opportunity my colleagues gave me to be a part of their lives. They made me want to be a better and more confident self advocate who could believe in themselves to do hard things, not being afraid to take risks when I knew it was going to be fun by the end of things, etc. I will admit that I especially loved getting to be involved with some of the disability leadership conferences that helped me get to where I am today and leaving an imprint on every heart of the individuals I was able to learn so much from throughout this journey. 

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Four Days Left

These past two weeks alone have been treacherously long and boring for me in more ways than one minus the fact I am anxiously excited to have my mom walk in the door of our house. I have done my absolute best in keeping up with house work and making sure we are getting things done that need our attention. I have definitely liked not having so much on my schedule while my mom has traveled out of state to help do the choregraphy for a long time show in Nauvoo that's gotten revamped multiple times if not more. We are more than ready at this point to have her back home and helping me with things that I have waited for two weeks to either get online or have completed before figuring out what to do with my diamond painting that I spent a lot of time on. #IYKYK 

I have waited anxiously to get to this point in time with all that has been going on and look forward to having a little bit of a normal life around here. I know my mom sacrificed so much of her time, energy, skill into making sure this particular show in Nauvoo is what they are asking for which to me is either what they wanted or maybe need to find someone else who knows what they are supposed to do in any situation like this one. 

I am probably going on about this way too much and have left you feeling slightly confused---but I am grateful to have made it as far as we have. I am more than excited to have one of my parents home with us again and not having to leave out of state again once they get here. I know I have felt the lord's hand in this whole process and giving me peace when I didn't know if I was going to feel it or not during any kind of situation I didn't want to put up with. We have not needed to call other people for extra help in anything that has gone on for the past twelve days and not having to be somewhere in particular (I will admit is nothing short of a miracle.) I am quite certain that we can all take a big sigh of relief in a few short days from now and get excited for what is to come down the road. I am grateful that my mom is not going to be doing this again next year and have an extra fun filled summer with other things to do rather than twilding our thumbs waiting for time to pass. 

I look forward to participating in my adaptive needs institute class again next week and not having any kind of worry about what I need to do the second we walk in the door. I have waited a long time for this weekend to finally arrive and now that we are officially here at the moment---I know things will begin to settle themselves down quite a bit. 

(End Of Post)

Clear Answer

"Let me take the reins on this one and I will take care of her." 

This is the clear answer I received multiple times after praying to heavenly father with asking him if there is anything he needed me to do for an incredible young woman that I have looked up to for some time and I cannot get this out of my head. I know the lord will do all he possibly can to take the hand of this young woman as they walk down his covenant path on a daily basis. I still may want to let them know that I am praying for them every single night and letting our heavenly father do his stuff to make her life bearable---as they have experienced so much. I am not necessarily going into the details about all of this right now on here, but in the moment I really wished I could have been there to give them a hug or let alone cry with them as many times as they would let me but in my heart I knew there was not much of anything I could physically do in the sense of performing an act of service for them in some way or another. However, I knew the lord was going to take the reins on this one for me and take care of this individual who I have looked up to for awhile now. I obviously knew the least I could do for them was kneel down on my knees in sincere prayer to my heavenly father and ask him to help me with this no matter the circumstances that were going to come up later on in their life, I needed to make sure the lord was looking out for them.  I have continued doing this for awhile with no plans to stop any time soon and know it is better than just dwelling on what I have absolute zero control on whatsoever. I am not necessarily writing this to draw any kind of attention to myself or make a completely utter fool in any way but I am confident this is what the lord needs me to stick with. I know he would not ever put me in a situation that was too hard or unbearable for him to assist me on his path that all of us are walking down. 

I have contemplated on this experience for awhile now and understanding that I may never be able to let this young woman know the blessing it has been for me to pray in their behalf. I have obviously thought quite a bit on the fact my prayers will do a lot more than I could ever write in anything like a note or just about whatever comes to mind. I know my prayers to our heavenly father are what make us want to draw closer to him everyday and putting our complete trust in him no matter the circumstances we may be up against. I know without a shadow of a doubt that we are never alone in things we may be going through while we take hold of the lord's hand to guide us in the right direction and giving us hope for a brighter future ahead. 

I know the lord gave me this specific answer for an important purpose and letting this young woman trust in him as she continues forward with her life. I would obviously like to tell her in person that praying for her has blessed me in ways I never knew I needed for some time along with the fact she is such a strong, confident, kind hearted, genuinely sweet, self-less, patient young woman in more ways than I could even put into words. I know the lord brought her example into my life when I was processing through so much in a situation that left me not knowing if I would ever feel happy again which if you ask me, after I said a quiet prayer to heavenly father with tears rolling down my eyes. I knew in my heart the lord was watching out for me in that particular moment four years ago and letting me know everything would be okay as long as I invited him into my life more than I ever have before. 

FLASH FORWARD:

As I have followed this young woman over the last few years, I know their example has impacted my life in more ways than one and not only on just certain occasions. I remember calling out their name shortly after one of the BYU women's basketball games at the Marriott Center and next day feeling slightly bit on cloud nine!!! I had the absolute biggest smile on my face as I anxiously waited for the UTA bus to show up at my stop to get to my adaptive needs institute class. I literally cannot express perfectly the gratitude and appreciation that I have for this young woman right now. She has truly inspired me to look for the good in other people and having the potential to do hard things. She has also showed me through her example of what it means to be a leader and given the opportunities I have had within the disability community, I am forever grateful to have her look up to. I know neither one of us sees each other on a daily basis or anything like that but knowing that I have been a small part of her journey from being a collegiate basketball player to now being an assistant coach for the team she played on not too long ago as a former cougar, I feel lucky to support her in any way I can. 

I am grateful for their influence throughout these past few years and letting me know what no matter the road it takes to achieve your dreams that I am going to get there at some point. I may not have wanted to share this with you all on here and yet I know not a lot of people who come across my blog will want to read through a treacherous post such as this one, but I am confidently hoping that someone will want to do the same for another person they come across. It may not need to be over social media or anything of that nature for you in particular but I am confident there is someone whose influence will leave a mark on your life too. 

Diamond Painting

TO MAKE THIS BRIEF----I finished up with my diamond painting today and could not be more grateful for the way it turned out. I obviously spent a lot of my time making that come to life as well as the fact I did push myself a little too hard on this one. I didn't waste any time putting each of the diamonds by their number, code and diamond colors every time I sat down to work on this project in making sure it was all in the right place. 

I genuinely still have a lot more work left to do for this and have no clue whatsoever how the final product is supposed to be like. I need to take a brayer or rolling pin to make sure all of the diamonds are tightly or at least as securely on the canvas as possible along with brushing on a water sealant that will lock all of the diamonds in place. I will also need to take heavy books that can set on top of the painting itself while the sealant dries over a twenty four hour period---but who knows??? I would obviously like to show off the painting to at least a small number of people and not make a complete fool of myself during a quick time frame. I am not necessarily planning on keeping this specific piece of artwork whatsoever and not have one more thing to take care of at home, which if you ask me is even close to an understatement. I definitely am not the kind of person who feels inclined to keep stuff laying around for months and just simply wanting to hold onto them. 

I literally spent two weeks and five days on this project that originally should have taken me all of BYU football and basketball season to finish but that didn't happen. I honestly wanted to spend more time on making this look as decent as possible but obviously there was an energy inside of me that was going to keep me patient and focused at all times. I am not going to post this diamond painting over social media due to personal reasons and not worrying about what other people think of my ability to do achieve this kind of thing. 

(To Be Continued)

Untitled Post

I literally thought once my new diamond art project came to my house that it would take me all of BYU football and basketball season to finish. I obviously worked on this a little too fast and didn't necessarily  take the time to enjoy making the painting itself come to life. I know it was such a great escape for me to learn something new and have a project that could keep me busy for awhile, if you know what I mean? I am grateful for the way it has turned out so far and look forward to maybe doing another one of these at some point in the distant future. 

I am not particularly certain what is going to happen after this painting of mine is completed, but I want to take my time over the next two days to finish up what I have left. I am definitely not going to begin a new one of these at any given moment but know it will give me something else to focus on if I ever want to do this again. I am grateful for the way it has come together and look forward to maybe seeing more of these paintings have other BYU sports that we love watching so much. I am not sure if that will ever be the case at any given moment in time but I am excited for BYU sports to begin their seasons!!! I cannot wait to see what our players have worked so hard on throughout the summer months and want to bring to the court or field this upcoming year. 

I really hope we can make it some of the home basketball games this season and cheer on the cougars if we ever have a chance. I loved being able to watch our women's team fight to the end in their touranment that I enjoyed getting to watch them compete in. I was obviously sad with them being runners up in their final game but so pleased with their willingness to step up together as a team to make that an experience no one will soon forget. I am keeping my fingers crossed and faith in my heart our players can maintain good health throughout the season without any problems as well as just soaking in every moment before things come to an end leading into the NCAA tournament if we get into that. I know our team could play so incredibly well and make it further into it as we possibly can which I am positive we can do if we stick to the game plans. I am also confident that our heavenly father will be with our coaches and players who do so much behind the scenes into making BYU sports what they are. I really wish I could take a minute to thank all of them for their contributions and dedication to what make BYU sports so much fun to see either in person or just from the comfort of my home. I truly love being able to cheer them on with each score we make and competing at the highest level they can to win games throughout the season that are ahead for them. 

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Birthday Celebration

LONG STORY SHORT----I enjoyed celebrating my birthday with friends and making lots of memories that I know will be talked about for years to come. We bought donuts from Macey's and took them to our independent living center to share with friends while we had lunch during our class. Later in the afternoon, We picked up our friend Maria and played two games of bowling up at BYU which if you ask me was a treat in the sense we just had fun being together. We also had my older sister along with her kids join us at the bowling alley which was a lot of fun too because her two older kids wanted to help us bowl. We loved getting to cheer them on as they rolled the bowls down the lanes and would once in a while give us a strike or spare if we were lucky to have them show up on the scoreboard. 

From there we walked over to the new BYU creamery to have dinner and spend more quality time with each other. We laughed a lot more than we should have and definitely wanted to keep the energy high as much as we could possible without drawing attention to ourselves. I loved getting to share my king sized kit kat bar with friends while we finished bowling our two games, which did I forget to mention that I had a strike my kind niece wanted to make sure I got was incredible!!! 

I also received lots of birthday wishes from friends and family that made my entire day more special. I am grateful for the amazing people who continue to support and help me in any way that they can while even though they are not with me in person. Overall, I had the absolute best day celebrating with friends and family that made it a celebration I know will be amazing the next year that lies ahead. 

Leadership Role

 

LONG STORY SHORT----I was approached by a friend last week while attending a SNAP activity and asked if I would become the official chair person for advocacy first at my independent living center. It is definitely an incredible opportunity to step into another leadership role where I can put my skills to good use and make an impact in the lives of people with disabilities. I am obviously nervous about whether we need to have someone who is diligent to serve as our next upcoming vice chair person as well as having a secretary who can take good notes in our meetings. 

I am truly honored to be given this opportunity and have something to look forward to once a month while making the disability community a better place. I will need to get some training in preparation for this new role that I have politely accepted to take charge in and have all set up before the next time we have another chance to meet again. I have taken on many different leadership roles for almost ten years and loved every single minute of it with leaving an imprint on the heart of those I had the privilege to serve alongside as I learned new things. I was grateful for the many friendships I made with so many people who have a lot of passion in making their voices heard no matter the circumstances they are going through. 

When The Rain Falls (Part Two)

THREE YEARS AGO----I accidentally made one of the biggest mistakes that anybody in this society could ever learn from and knowing the permanent consequences left me feeling extra cautious whenever it comes to being around people within the disability community. I literally remember waking up shaken in the middle of the night and recognizing for the first time with my nervous system quietly reacting to a pyschological trigger with feeling out of breath among other symptoms. I knew in my heart that the Lord was going to help me see his hand in all of this uncertainty at the time and wanted more than anything to learn how my life was going to be years after. 

I never meant to hurt the individual who now more than ever knows I made a fool of myself and wanted to immediately see this be erased. As I continued to process for months on what needed to be done, I did feel completely at peace after having kneeled down on my knees while pleading to my Heavenly Father to help me learn from this mistake and give me the comfort I really needed at the time. I knew my mistake would only continue to stick with me as I slowly moved forward with the reality of this experience. I genuinely did not mean to put the individual through all of this on purpose but yet it was something I knew the Lord was going to lovingly remind me about on a consistent basis and coming to terms with the loss of what I'll admit was not a socially appropriate relationship. I cried one too many times over this because the pain of what happened between me and the individual who was only doing their best in a very difficult leadership role I was extremely nervous about them going into. 

LONG STORY SHORT----I started listening to the lyrics of what this song means to me on a personal level and have realized that I am only human. I even apologized for not having turned out to be what I perceived to be as the perfect colleague in their eyes and I was unable to do that for them. I felt almost vulnerable with wanting to see their face on a computer screen or let alone in person for a treacherous period of time and yet I knew it was the harsh reality I needed to live with. I obviously have no clearer idea about when they will ever regain my trust not only as a governor appointed entity council member and knowing I am forever left with the emotional scar of my inexcusable actions. Did any of this have to do with the fact that I have a genetic learning disorder... I am one hundred percent certain that it did and no matter how many short comings I have in life, I know the lessons behind this taught me what it means to be a professional at all times. I will admit it has been an emotional rollercoaster for me to keep my mouth shut and not want to share anything with them trying my hardest to not feel imtimdated by their way of maturity when it comes to processing your emotions. 

It was literally one of the hardest times in my life and sometimes wish if I did not have FXS that I could have this erased completely. However, I know it will never be something I can undo or disappear with a magic wand if I even had access to something like that. I have contemplated many times about how I am going to be extra careful in making sure I never put someone else I really like into something such as this unfortunate situation. I am grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ for lovingly reminding me that he would never abandon one of his children in a trial of their faith and the moment I handed this to him----there was a sudden peace in my heart that everything would be okay. I knew it was going to take a lot of time on my end with getting to a point where I was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel while recongizing that tears are the same when we are trying to grow something good--there is a difference between the teardrops and the rain. Think about the teardrops along with rain being vital to washing away pain and fostering good character that all of us want to pursue in this mortal life. I am just someone who despite their visible struggles with a genetic learning disorder know from time to time it will hit me that I am not necessarily like everybody else. I obviously may not make legitimate eye contact with people or capable of carrying on with any kind of conversation or let alone feeling a little out of place when it comes to things that life hands over to me. 

(End Of Post)

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When The Rain Falls

Side Note: I have been listening to this song quite a few times from a DCOM titled Pixel Perfect and thinking about the message in this ballad is relatively simple: The lyrics are a poetic metaphor for the beauty of mortality, human emotion along with the value of making mistakes. I obviously have made my fair share of mistakes the hard way and learning how to move forward in life when I didn't feel like it was something I needed to deal with or why it had to occur for me as opposed to someone else. I feel very grateful to know that it is perfectly okay to make mistakes and not worrying about being the kind of perfectionist society wants us to be. 

Oh oo oo

I don't understand 
This should be so easy

To just reach out my hand

And know the world is free

But nothing's as it seems

I can tell you freely 
Touching's not the only way to feel 

When the rain falls

It's like heaven's crying

When the name's all

The difference that there is

Cause tears are

The same when they are trying to grow something good

Out of all the pain

There's no difference between the teardrops and the rain

Because I know the bones were necessary
I don't let it bother me at all

I know you proudly say

That I'm just talking crazy

To think of life that way

Means that I'm confused

Does happy end this sad

But maybe yes,  just maybe 

The sadness can make the happiness more true

I have contemplated for weeks now about whether this blog post needed to be written on here or if I just need to keep this to myself. I am obviously one of the most highly sensitive-tender hearted person you'll ever meet and yet I know life is never meant to be a certain way. I continuously struggle on a daily basis with having a genetic learning disorder called Fraglie X Snydrome and knowing that it's one of those things I wish everyday could be something to make disappear while making my entire life a million times easier. I have a firm belief in my heart that the Lord knew I could handle something such as this here on earth and not let it define who I am as a young woman who wants to feel accepted in this world like everybody else. I may visible struggle in social enivornments a lot more than most who have ever had the opportunity to meet me can pick up on the fact I never make eye contact with them even if I want to have a normal conversation. I am grateful for the example of a young woman who inspires me on a daily basis to feel proud of who I am and not worrying about the small things I am not able to have any control over. I know it is not easy having to deal with something that I wish never existed and along side the fact I am striving everyday to become more like my Savior, Jesus Christ is something I know is gonna be the most incredible blessing I could ever ask for. I am not someone who usually is comfortable to write stuff like this on their blog and yet here I am doing all I can to make my life look easy, but I am finding comfort in the sense when I see my Savior again on the other side---it will all come together in a way that I can better understand. 

I am someone who despite their challenges in life knows there is someone who wants nothing more than to feel accepted and seen in this world. I have many times wondered if there was a genuine reason as to why the Lord wanted me to have FXS and I know it was because he knew I could take this on with faith in my heart. He knew I was not gonna be perfect or feel like I needed to be someone else I would ever come across in this world and yet I know he was aware of what I came to this earth--- to learn along his covenant path. He knew this was not going to be easy for me in anyway while he does remind me of what I am capable of doing and not trying too hard to be someone I am not in his eyes. It's blessed my life in more ways to know that I am striving to draw closer to him as my personal testimony of him continues to be strengthened.

As challenging and emotionally hard FXS is for me, it has blessed my life tremendously with getting to meet people I have looked up for a while and aspire to be like one day has given me reasons to keep the faith as I move on with anything that shows up on my path. I am grateful for the blessing it is to know that one day everything about this will fall into place and remind me of why it is I came to this earth to become more like the Savior who I love with all of my heart. I know he is never going to leave me alone in trials or difficulties that I know he knows I need to be right now to have me where I will be an instrument in his hands. I love his role in my life everyday and helping me learn to rely on Him in any given situation that life hands over as I am able to trust in what he wants me to do going forward. He has been able to catch me when I literally felt like I was going to fall in a dark hole or did not know what he needs to do next as I walk down this road of knowing he will always be there when I need his help. He has brought peace into my heart when I was faced up against one of the hardest trials of my life and not knowing when I would ever get to feel happy again.

(To Be Continued)

More Stories

It's hard to believe that after these next five months get here... my reign of service volunteering on UDDC will come to an end. I have really enjoyed getting to learn new things about the disability community and making sure the voices of individuals like myself are being heard. I am grateful for the many lessons that this experience has provided me with and realizing I never had to be perfect in any way to make a decent impression or get anything extra. All I needed to be was my true self in every council meeting that I make an effort to participate in every three months and provide my input when it was deemed to be appropriate for things we had to discuss. 

LONG STORY SHORT-----This experience volunteering on UDDC has truly changed my life for the better and I am grateful to have volunteered time with such terrific people in our state. They taught me lessons about how to go out of my comfort zone and grab onto new opportunities when they come up because you never know when it could happen. I may not have done advocacy work for many years---- but realizing that I was able to make a difference in the lives of people I care so much about. I am truly excited to see what the future holds for me once my council term ends and getting back into things that will benefit the disability community. 

Other Stories:

TONIGHT---My niece performed in her first dance recital and could not have been more proud of her to get up onto the stage with the prettiest smile ever. I had not been to a recital in some time and brought so many memories back from when my older sister participated in things like this. I really wished that I had the opportunity to do more dancing like she did-- but I am grateful to have gotten the opportunity to see her do what she loved so much. It was truly an amazing experience and afterwards I randomly happened to run into a very sweet friend of mine who was at the concert watching their friend perform out in the lobby area. I didn't waste any time to politely shout their name and walk over to give them one of my gentle big hugs not to mention asking them how they were doing. I had really missed them since the BYUWBB teams season came to a close early last month and was probably more excited to see her smiling face than anything in this world!!

I really wished we had more time to visit with each other and hopefully can do that in the distant future if we get an opportunity to do so. I am truly grateful for her sweet spirit and the way she continues to bring positivity into this world everywhere she goes out in the community. I love her so much and the amazing example she is in my life at this time of when I am preparing to see what happens down the road within these few past months. I am truly blessed to have such an incredible young woman who almost just makes me want to be a better person in this world everyday and continue to become more like the Savior in ways that I never knew about until meeting her for the first time. 

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Entertainment Parade 2026 (Mini Preview)

We still need to have our application that was turned into the city for approval and cannot wait for yet one another incredible opportunity none of us will soon forget. I cannot wait to get to work on our brand new float that will be the star of this event and have something to get decorated for America's 250th birthday coming up in a few short months!!! I am excited to once again be a part of an event that everyone here in the beautiful city of Provo wants to join in on and obviously there will be memories to make alongside my friends who attend classes with us at our independent living center. I cannot wait to see what we come up with in the weeks to follow and hopefully bring some positive energy into the crowd as we take all of our time walking the parade route. I really missed not being able to see a lot more familiar faces alongside the street of downtown Provo and getting to maybe catch up with them if I am lucky---but it will most likely not be a guarantee either. Please stay tuned for more to come later!!!

Advocacy Awards Ceremony (Sneak Peek)

LONG STORY SHORT----One of my colleagues reached out asking me if I would help with reading some bios of our advocacy award nominees at our upcoming leadership conference. I obviously didn't hesistate to accept the invitation and look over what was said about each of our awardees that was all written up by the best executive director I could ever work with. I feel truly honored to be given this amazing opportunity and recognize individuals who have gone out of their way to make the disability community a better place. 

Italy Vacation (Next Summer)

I have never been to this part of our world & cannot wait to experience it all next summer when I have the opportunity to do with it my family. I am excited to see what else this beautiful world of ours has to offer... which if you ask me is a whole different story!!! We have planned to do one of those cruises that will take you on at least nine stops to various places and cannot wait to see the beautiful sceneries each of them will have in store for us. I am really excited for the opportunity to explore and try some new things that I hope are going to take a lot of pictures to share with everybody after we have flown back into the states. 

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