Tough Spot

Every once in awhile I have participated on these NINJA Alumni Calls over Zoom and catching up with my friends who I never really see in person much anymore. It has been a difficult experience for me after this last week to even think I'm gonna be able handle much more virtual stuff. I know it is the new normal for all of us, which if you must know has been good--but also a struggle for me because I miss getting out in the world and spending quality time with those I love so much. COVID has definitely given me a lot of reasons to feel isolated or excluded from the outside world--which all of us know has not been easy since the start of life being turned upside down. 

LONG STORY SHORT---I need to make a decision about what is gonna happen next and into the future with other leadership commitments that I have. It is difficult when I am one of the people helping out and not realizing my participation is important for those involved-- but I know without my assistance, nothing will run smoothly. There is no doubt in my mind knowing if I end up not logging onto the activity-- Am I gonna be the one left behind with consequences to learn from? Will I be forgiven? I will need to just make that choice between now and when the time of this Zoom call begins!!

Lessons Learned (Repetitive Stuff)

I am hopeful things can settle themselves down once Monday night rolls around-- but who knows if I will be capable enough to participate or just simply give up altogether? It would let everybody else who is just counting on me to help and assist with the activity we spent a lot of time figuring out together. I am really nervous about how I will ever be able to face that individual (knowing I made them feel the way they are right at that very moment.) I made the worst mistake of my life this past week and somehow I need to be able to learn from my short comings as well as realize what I can do to be extra cautious in my new leadership roles. 

High Demand

I've been involved with my two governor appointed councils for several months now and never did I ever think my life would be in such high demand with so many things!!! I am so grateful for another chance to keep making an impact throughout the disability community and trying my hardest to keep being a good, dependable, friendly, hard working leader that I need to be for those around me. With all of that said-- It's my honor to be the official youth representative for a miniature leadership conference that will be the best fit for the youth at my IL Center!!! I was completely surprised during my USILC Meeting this morning to have gotten asked by the amazing main executive director of my IL Center to help out with a one day leadership conference and obviously, I have absolutely no idea what else is to come from this--but I am excited to do whatever it takes in making it a very successful event!!! Stay tuned for more stories and updates to come!!

I have genuinely appreciated the unconditional love and support from my friends who never cease to amaze me with seeing the good in what life has to offer. I am grateful for their prayers in my behalf-- especially since there is a lot I need to focus on in the next several months/weeks ahead. There are so many people who are part of these councils and committees who I feel like know so much more than someone like me ever could!! #BelieveMeItsTrue

Everything else in my life is going pretty good--but just at times feels more overwhelmingly draining than I legitimately think it needs to!!! I have definitely struggled with a lot in the last year and this year is just a beginning step into something that I know will impact my life forever. I will admit there have been endless tears shed without question during what continues to be a difficult experience, in more ways than I can say right now!!! #ThinkAboutIt #SoMuchToDo #SoLittleTime 

(End Of Part Three)

Random Stories

 Unexpected Happiest Surprise Ever!! (Mini Story)

This afternoon I received a text message about a Zoom activity that would be taking place and little did I even know what was gonna happen within minutes of being logged in!!! All of the sudden-- I find myself saying with a very much surprised look on my face: "OMG!!! (Oh My Goodness--- I don't even have any idea about what I said next because obviously I was in complete shock over what had just happened.) It is certainly not something I was legitimately informed about whatsoever early on-- but if you ask me I'd not ever be able to describe what came over me in that moment. LONG STORY SHORT---One of the USILC Staff who I see quite often on a regular basis through various disability related things that I am involved with came onto the Zoom Meeting to join us and say Hi!! I immediately asked them where their bunny who I love so much was at and unfortunately I didn't get a chance to see his adorable self on the call but hopefully on the next call or down the road-- I will be able to spend virtual time with him. 

Continuation (Part Two)

We went on to discuss what it means to be humorous and not insult people (which if you ask me is simply something all of us need to understand every once in awhile.) I was very much not sure what to do in lots of those situations not knowing if people were insulting others or just laughing at themselves. I have more often than not experienced moments in my life, when I was not clearly sure if someone treated me with an absolute sense of respect or if I just took what they said close to heart. Being the sensitive person that I am in this world, I would never know if someone just wanted to hurt my feelings on purpose or find happiness to make themselves feel better. 

Swamped (Part Three)

Despite my life being slightly more crazy than I am used to--- it is definitely a chance for me to keep learning and growing as a self advocate, leader, mentor and friend. I am obviously not perfect at most things that I have continued to do for many years, but I do feel grateful for the opportunities to educate people on topics that I know need to be shared throughout this world. It gives me a sense of well being and knowing I can impact a person's life in some way or another through the messages I give in all of my trainings. More to come later on in the next week!!! :) 

Prom Night

Virtual Night To Shine 2021 (Highlights)

I truly loved spending quality time with my friends all night long was a dream come true!!! Once my twin sister and I were all ready for an unforgettable evening-- We picked up our best friend Maria on the way to Olive Garden for dinner. All of us ordered pasta dishes as well as salads (along with their breadsticks) and just enjoyed being together!!! It was definitely an experience that I know none of us will forget and could not wait for what was gonna happen next-- but there's more to tell :) We headed up to Danielle's house for the remainder of our Night To Shine experience and believe it or not-- We were most definitely in heaven and didn't stop partying it up till about late into the night hours!!! Her house was decorated with all pink, sparkles, and not to mention dancing the night away with music we loved (certainly met all of our some what legitimate expectations). 

We snacked on our favorite treats and pretty much laughed till our hearts were tired... but if you ask me it never stopped there!!! We also got to watch this unforgettable event take place virtually which if you must know was certainly something that I know is never gonna be forgotten. I also really loved hearing from a lot of celebrities that I knew of but a lot we didn't know of either... but their messages of letting us know-- how special all of us Kings and Queens are in this world. We also danced the night away with music that I will admit was pretty legit and well loved by all of my friends throughout our entire night hanging out w/ each other. 

(Crowning Ceremony)

This was slightly different than it has been in years past-- but if you ask me, I am certain there will be endless stories to tell as the years go by. All of us were called to walk upstairs in our friend's home and quietly wait for our names to be called out as we would be crowned Queens of the prom!!! It was truly one of the most memorable moments ever and knowing that this time next year, this event is gonna be back in person and probably more amazing than we could dream of. There was a lot of smiles and not to mention surprises that we expected-- but had no idea when they were gonna arrive. We strutted our personalities and elegance down the staircase and waited to receive our crowns as well swag baskets with fun stuff to enjoy. 

Overall, I will have to admit despite the circumstances we were in--- I am so grateful this event was still able to take place and happen all over the USA!!! I loved being able to feel the unity and unconditional love for people just like me who want to feel a part of society (because this past year was more than an absolute pleasant experience for us, due to the endless ways people wanted to tear themselves apart and not keeping it together like we all know it should be!!!)

The Genesis Project - Thank you so much for hosting yet again one of the most amazing events ever & cannot wait to see what you all have planned out for next year!!! I love being a part of Night To Shine through an organization that just simply makes every single person feel loved and a part of this world, which in my eyes means so much more than anything else. Look forward to partying it up even more when the year 2022 rolls into town and the epidemic is out of the picture.

Exclusive Peek

Virtual Self Advocacy Conference (New Update)

THIS MORNING---I participated in my first ever meeting to help plan out a virtual disability conference and cannot wait to see everything unfold. I am grateful for this new opportunity of being able to learn and present messages of hope as well as realizing what their full potential in life is--(but knowing who I am as a self advocate, leader, mentor and friend there is only a lot more to learn.) Stay tuned for more updates & stories to come!!! 

New Leadership Role?! (NINJA Planning Committee) 

This is definitely one of the newest opportunities that has somehow come into my lap and talking stuff out with a friend was extremely helpful for me. I am definitely grateful for the many people who are going to assist and help make things for this virtual conference one to remember!!! I know there are so many other things for me to keep learning along this journey and not knowing if I am even the person to take the lead on stuff is obviously in the works. It is not necessarily an absolute significant commitment whatsoever---- but if you ask me, I can only hope for the best in the many adventures that are gonna take place. I am truly grateful for an opportunity to keep developing my skills as a leader and someone who is willing to take on whatever task is in front of them!!! 

Anxiety Status (Final Part)

Back when this health epidemic started-- I had little to no idea about the outcome it was gonna leave me in and quite frankly I am getting tired of all the endless restrictions/boundaries!!! I'm ready for a chance to keep moving forward in hopes to one day wrap my arms around friends who I have genuinely missed spending quality time with so much. I know there is such a long road for me to walk down and until the moment comes when I can finally take a sigh of relief-- I am not sure how things are gonna look. I can't wait for that announcement to be made when this craziness is behind us and we can all look towards the future!!! I genuinely continued to let this unpredictable time in my life take over the fact that I know my own control with anything is just gonna keep being worse unless I pause to focus on me for a little bit if not more than usual. This past year was not necessarily anything that I had pictured it to become (which knowing the person that I am right now is where I need to be.) It is certainly not what I had imagined to see myself going through and feeling like no matter the challenges in front of me, I can easily turn all of it around to see everything in a different perspective. 

Free Write

When I first applied to be on the (Youth Advisory Committee) three years ago--- I had little to no idea if there was anything for me to contribute let alone share with people. LONG STORY SHORT- I went thru an experience that never should have taken place and yet here I am still years later with the responsibility of being the newly elected secretary. It has been such an absolute delight for me to take notes and make sure everything is prepped beforehand as well as looks very professional--- (Which if you ask me is just one of those things that I can only hope to continue making a good impression with my fellow members) but you get the idea here?!?! I am grateful for the patience of my executive team who are the best people ever and continue to amaze me with their talents of seeing the best in me (no matter how much I feel as though my responsibilities are being underappreciated.) 

Bunny Sweater (Surprise!!)

It has been only four months into this new leadership role and still have so much more to learn from those who did this stuff long before I made the effort to step up my game. I am certainly grateful for the endless laughs and smiles we have shared with each other (which if you ask me is just nothing short of a dream-- come true!!! Not to mention our fabulous chair person is currently working on knitting our favorite bunny in the whole world a sweater!!! I could not be more than excited about it and seeing it on him is gonna be the most unforgettable moment ever, but who am I kidding here?!! I am certain it will look adorable once everything is finished up and ready to get sent off to him in a few days!!! (FYI: It was clearly my idea but my friend Lizzie gets all of the rest of it done, our main staff person is gonna hopefully send us off a photo of him with the sweater on!!! Crossing my fingers!!)

Next Surprise (Shhh)

I have mentioned this already in a previous blog post-- but I am hopeful it ends up being the most legit surprise ever!!! I am not gonna mention too much about how excited or thrilled I am about seeing that look on my friends face and knowing it was all gonna be completely worth waiting for. It is definitely not something I knew was gonna be hard to keep secret and yet I am determined to make this happen- no matter what happens along the way. It combines both of my favorite things in the whole world and don't mind me telling you it is gonna be the most legitimate surprise ever!! I have all planned out with sending off the next YLC Meeting agenda to my fellow members and then sending it to myself only to forward it onto our main staff person in charge to see their most genuine reaction!!! Stay tuned for the updates and stories to come!!! :) 

Untitled Post

It has certainly gotten so much harder for me to write up anything new and especially since most of my life is documented in these endless posts that never seem to end. I am definitely hoping there will be so much more to share as this new year continues to unfold and give me some of the most unforgettable & wonderful memories ever!!!

Virtual Self Advocacy Conference (Planning Committee)

I could not genuinely be more than excited about this new experience of being on the side who assists in trying to plan out a disability conference that is normally in person at a hotel--- has been legitimately just gotten itself to being online because of the health epidemic. I am not necessarily sure what else to think-- with all of this virtual world stuff and somehow I know things will end up being probably a lot more than boring for those who end up attending with us. There is not necessarily much of anything else to share on this subject for the time being and until everything is sorted out in a way--that I know will fall into place when they are supposed to!!!

NINJA Planning Committee (Still Unofficial News)

I simply decided this last week to make it somewhat official-- but until anything happens with chatting about stuff I am not sure what is to come up next. I am hoping we can discuss some very legit things on making the conference itself very successful for everyone involved. I cannot wait to share my input that will hopefully make the event one to remember and not turn out as a complete epic fail-- (which I am so certain is not gonna be the case whatsoever!!!) Stay tuned for more updates and actual stories to share!!

Anxiety Status: (Part Three)

I definitely have such an absolute long road in front of me as I have mentioned endless times before. It has given me reasons to sit down and take some breaths of relief---(only because I seriously hate when my anxiety becomes so unfathomable to deal with that I am hyperventilating so much it doesn't look so pretty.) I am trying my hardest to make an effort with trying to focus on what is most important to me-- which at times does change itself more often than I would prefer it to!!!