Back To School . . . One Month Later

I know that most of you were probably not all too happy about school starting up... but if you know me, I am more than just super excited to return back-- but getting to do something that I love with all my heart.

I'm super thrilled to be announcing my return back to Westridge Elementary School this coming year and I honestly couldn't be more excited!!! I have really learned to love the school, working with their amazing students and faculty over these many years... but it has certainly turned into a wonderful/life changing experience for me. I love helping kids with anything that they need help with and getting to work with some of the best teachers ever has continued to be such a privilege. I know that this school year started a month ago, but since things in my life kind of got put to the side for awhile-- I've had to keep my focus on that and get myself together after everything that has happened. I cannot wait to get back into the classroom with my new to be third grade students and having an opportunity to help out one of my many favorite teachers!!!! I will also be helping out in a first grade classroom again this yr and I am thrilled to be meeting some new people, (hopefully they will enjoy having me in their class as well as getting better acquainted with them too!) 

It's certainly been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life and I can't wait to do something that I not only love more than anything-- but sharing it with so many people!!! This will be my 8TH year as a volunteer at the Elementary School and I know it's been a very long time, but so worth it in the sense of everything that this experience has taught me. I have absolutely grown & learned lots of things from having been doing this for as long as I have... but seriously though, I love kids and can't wait to be in their presence again!!!! 

When I started this experience SEVEN YEARS AGO--- I never thought of myself being very good at helping with first grade students let alone kids for that matter, but it has continued to be such a fun & amazing experience for me. I'm grateful for the happiness and joy that they continue to bring into my life on a regular basis, but having said that-- I know that my life has never been the same and I can't wait to learn more from them during our time together.

Free Write

I came across this wonderful quote a few weeks ago, on my Facebook News Feed and ever since then it has continued to really stand out to me. I know that having reflected on this for the last little while, it has continued to make me really think about how important it really is to have faith in our Savior, Jesus Christ regardless of whatever situation we are facing. I feel so blessed to have the gospel in my life everyday and to know with a certainty that we'll not ever be given something that my Heavenly Father wouldn't be too easy or hard for any one of us to deal with. 

At one time in your lives or another, you have heard the phrase: "Fake it till you make it." and to me this never really made sense in the back of my mind about the emphasis behind what it truly means. I know for me if there was something I had been struggling with in my own life and tried to do whatever I could to "Fake it till I made it to the end and was able to look forward with my head held high... than that is probably what I would have chosen to do instead of just simply doing what I know will help me through any situation. It is simply just amazing to met hat until I saw this quote on Facebook and thought of just how much more important it is to never give up on ourselves (let alone our Savior to help guide/direct us on the straight and narrow path of where we need to be.)

Untitled Post

I'm sorry for neglecting to update my blog within the last couple of weeks, but so much has taken place in the last couple of weeks that I haven't really felt like writing too much. This last week I attended a camp out with my independent living center as well as a other one from the Salt Lake area and to be honest with you, I didn't really know if I was going to do it or not--because of everything that has been going on in my life... but it certainly seemed like a good way to get out of the house and spend time with my friends who I really ever see that often. I'm not necessarily much of a camper myself but getting to do it with other people just made it a little more relaxing for me and I am grateful that I was able to be a part of it. Despite a little bit of rainfall that we had to endure while being there, all of us enjoyed spending time together as well as getting to do some arts/crafts which I will say were actually pretty fun (since there was not a lot of activities planned expect for just laying back and hanging out with everyone who was there.) I really liked being able to meet some new people and reunite with some of the friends that I've known for the last couple of years (due to other activities that I have been able to participate in with them.) It was a little hard not being able to see some of my other friends that I wished had been there with us, but in the end I felt really grateful to be a part of this one and enjoy some time away from the chaos and busy things we all have to do in our lives everyday. 

Special Needs Institute

My twin sister and I started attending special needs institute at Utah Valley University awhile back, just so we could do something together and get my twin sister out of the house for a little bit during the day. It has definitely been such a wonderful thing to be a part of and getting to learn about the gospel has made me really feel more blessed to have something in my life that reminds me of why I'm here on this earth. I greatly miss our previous legit institute teacher more than anything in this world and getting to learn from her was such an incredible experience for me that I will cherish for the rest of my life!!! I am looking forward to what this new semester has in store for us and cannot wait to learn more about what I can do to live a more happier life each day...but we'll see what happens & how things will turn out for us from here. 

Westridge Elementary School Carnival 2017

One of my neighbors posted on our ward's facebook page that they needed extra volunteers to help out with activities going on at the elementary school's carnival & my mom asked if I would be more than willing to help out with it. I was definitely indeed more than thrilled to do whatever needed to be done and getting that chance to see some of my former students again was super fun for me!!!! I actually got to help out with one of the many games that were taking place & somehow it ended up being the most popular for the kids to play... which kind of surprised me considering how much other stuff was going on there at the same time. I really hoped to have run into both of the teachers I was going to be working alongside with this year and getting the chance to talk to them about things, but I'm kind of thinking both of them must have left home before I showed up to do what I was asked to help out with. It was a little bit of a bummer and considering the fact, if I'd been there earlier in the afternoon I would have run into them but no worries-- I had a lot of things on my mind & just needed to focus on what I was there to assist with. Overall, I was grateful for the experience more than anything else in this world & having the chance to do something fun instead of just chilling all over around my house for an entire night-- but I loved every single minute of it more than I could even put into words right now. I'm anxious to get back over to the elementary school and begin my official volunteering duties again in both of the classrooms I hope to be of assistance in this coming year!!! 

Extended Summer Vacation

My summer vacation hasn't necessarily come to an end & that is simply because two of the teachers I plan to help out with over at the elementary school this coming year, need a little bit of extra time to get all settled into their classrooms before I can just randomly show up and do anything. I am more than willing to let them have as much time as they need to have their feet under them, which is just perfectly fine with me to say the least. Even though I feel incredibly anxious to get back into things and help in anyway that I can possible with both of those teachers, I need to continue enjoying my summer vacation!!! I am incredibly excited for what it is to come within the next few weeks as well as getting the chance to attend a reunion of my dad's cousins up at Lava Hot Springs for the day. I'm hoping our trip up there will go over successfully and everyone is going to have a wonderful time--- being able to catch up with each other. We are also planning on attending my first ever home BYU Football Game on my mom's birthday and despite the fact I'm not feeling as thrilled about it as you would think I'd be on this.. I am more than willing to give it a chance for the time being. I will also have the opportunity of attending a camp out with my Independent Living Center and the one from Salt Lake who will be hosting this together for me and my friends!!! I am thrilled to be participating in this activity considering the fact that it never happens all too often, but I think it will be awesome having the privilege of spending time with so many amazing people. After all of that happens, I am hoping to get back over to the elementary school and talking with both of the teachers to see how we can possibly make it work for me to volunteer in their classrooms. I am hoping for an incredible year of adventures and experiences to help me become a better person in this world, but until that point I'll definitely continue to remain patient :) #MoreToComeAboutThisLater. 

Special Needs Ballroom

About eight years ago, my older sister who was crowned Miss Provo 2008 created this Special Needs Ballroom Event for me and my twin sister to be a part of... (along with our best friends.) It has truly become such a wonderful and legit experience for me to have a small glimpse into what being in a ballroom dance competition is like. Even though there are no bright lights on us or any of that cool fancy stuff that I've typically seen at the many dance competitions I've attended, but it has certainly turned into an event where the atmosphere changes from being like any other dance competition lots of people have seen. This is a part of my life that I try to leave out from blogging about just because I never know if anybody would ever think of it as something worth while for them to read. If you don't know this about me already I have danced my entire life and the thrill of performing in right of large crowds is such a wonderful thing. I usually get nerves before heading out on stage and then once I've begun dancing around everything goes away... but you get the picture here, right???? This weekend is the competition and I am very thrilled to have this opportunity of showing off what I've worked very hard on for the last six weeks!!! 

Summer Recap

•  Youth Mentor/Counselor/Staff at 5th annual NINJA Youth Leadership Conference
•  Girls Trip to Orlando, Florida
•  Girls Trip to St. George, UT
• 25th Birthday
•  Family Togethers
•  Self Determination Conference in Salt Lake City
•  Side Trip to Logan, UT to see my best friend & show my family around Utah State Campus of where I stayed at for my NINJA Conference/Lunch with my best friend/Visited the Logan Temple Grounds
• Special Needs Ballroom
•  Ability First Youth Summer Program

I'm Movin' On

I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on...

I have definitely learned the hard way again about who my true friends are and those who are not... It's tough for me to swallow such a hard thing down my throat but at the same time, there is not one single thing I haven't tried to do in order to make every situation better or not so much. I've obviously experienced this many times before and regardless of how I felt about the struggle, that person didn't necessarily care about me or how they were going to completely lose out on the chance of being friends with a good person. I may have those moments of sadness and regret, but doesn't everybody in this world go through those kinds of things all the time... because we all do and simply just in the sense that we are human beings learning to trust in whatever takes place next in our lives. I really tried so hard to do everything that I could to make it better for me and for the person who I thought was my closest friend, but we all have people who come in and out of our lives everyday or at various moments in our lives. But I am not settling to take something that didn't mean anything of importance to someone else and yet I know everything will continue to become easier as time goes on and the years start passing by me without notice. I will never regret having experienced what I did & not doing all that I can to have it help me come closer to those people who are supposed to be in my life at this time. To make this blog post short, I know it has not been easy for me and nor do I ever least expect it to be that way any time soon down the road--- but I am choosing today and forever to ONLY focus on the people who have always been there for me when I need somebody to talk to, or whenever I need to understand something that does not make any sense, but you get the picture here??? I obviously mentioned a lot of things that never should have been shared with someone else, but at this time in my life and where I know I need to be... It probably wasn't the best way to handle something that I knew was making me feel SO hurt and frustrated inside... but I am choosiing to see the brighter side of life and never fall for a friendship that isn't what I think it could have turned out to be. My true friends are people who have stood beside me when I wasn't sure about what to do or if I wanted to hangout with them sometime.

Starting now and from this point forward, I will most likely never have to go through an experience such as this one again & if I do... Well, so be it and hope for the best in whatever is to come next for me. I know it sounds complicated in the sense of explaining anything to somebody... but it's only a matter of time before I will fully understand why I went through something that I've already experienced before. It was nothing new to me or anyone else whose known me long enough to see the bigger picture here and coming to terms with myself that I know the people who will love & care and support me are the ones I want to have in my life all the time. This has been the most challenging few months of my life and yet I would only think to reflect on how much it's strengthened me to find new people that can treat me with the respect that I deserve.