Free Write

December 10th, 2018 - Winter In The Air (David Archuleta)

I'm so excited for the unforgettable opportunity to watch my favorite singer perform LIVE in concert at the Utah Valley University UCCU Event center!!!! I am thrilled to be able to get back into more of the holiday spirit and remembering what this time of year is really about. I am very grateful more than words could ever say about how much my Savior, Jesus Christ has strengthened and lifted me when I've had difficulties along throughout this year. He has never once left me wondering if I could only hope for the best in just this one situation, but that I can always turn to him at any given moment. I am grateful it is never too late to see the brighter side of anything that happens in our lives and trying to keep that perspective with me at all times. I have really loved listening to David Archuleta's music throughout the last couple of months and remembering to look up, instead of the other way around. I love that he has a very powerful and angelic voice, that carries so amazingly well out into the audiences or crowds that he performs in front of all over the United States. He is truly become one of my most favorite singers out there, because he stays true to what he knows and believes in, spite of what others may think. 

There will definitely be a blog post about this experience later on at some point, but I cannot wait for the memories that we will make together while attending this event. I know that music can inspire us to be a little better and give us a reason to look up whenever life becomes unbearable, in ways that we may not have expected. I know that it can uplift us with the powerful that is behind each of the lyrics in a song and resonating with us on a personal level, is just nothing short of incredible. I know from everything that has happened in my life is never gonna not help me become a stronger person in this world and in spite of how things have turned out, I know there is somebody who has stuck with me through it all. I know that he would never give me anything in life that none of us couldn't handle in during this mortal time here on earth, but at the same time it only continues to remind me that I will never be alone in my times of trials. 

Favorite Songs:

- Christmas Every Day

- My Little Prayer

- Numb

- Shine a Light

- Cracks of Heaven

- Aiming for Hope

Each of these songs have inspired me to only see the best in myself and other people as well. I may never know what it feels like to be in someone else's position, but I do know that everything happens for a specific reason/purpose. I am grateful for the powerful that music can have in your life, when it feels like everything could not possibly get any worse, you have something that can help you escape from all the chaos in this world. If you ever need anything to brighten your day or let alone make you feel a little better about things in life, just listen to one of these songs and I can guarantee that it will bring a peace into your heart that you have never felt before in your life!!! 

Learning Experiences

Background Story:
I usually would give this a couple of more weeks till the end of the month, to share all of this with you guys---but obviously I could not keep it inside any longer. It's been one of the most difficult times in my life this year with everything that has happened and would only hope for the best to just let people know about my experiences. I will post more about this on my Facebook page when it gets closer but here is a preview of what I might or might not share on there with all of you.

As I have gotten to reflect back on this past year in 2018, I've definitely been given my fair share of unexpected twists and turns that I never imagined myself to go through. Like, not ever in my life would I have wanted all of the many things that happened throughout this year in ways like I wanted them to. I've continued to learn a lot of lessons along the way that have put my faith to the test and have just simply reminded me of how incredibly blessed I am.

This year was one of the most emotional roller coasters in my life and at times, I did not know what this year would turn out like to be what it has become. I've experienced unimaginable heartbreak that has left me not ever knowing what the future holds if I'd ever see myself in a relationship with a guy. I have never wanted things to turn out like this whatsoever and have not ever known what was going to happen along the road, has made me feel grateful to understand the importance of counting my blessings. I have absolutely more than anything in this universe have hated not being able to fully understand what this is trying to teach me at this time in my life. It has simply left me with needing to make a difficult choice about who I can trust and others who just will never come to terms with what it means to be a true friend.


I cannot even be someone's friend who made me feel like I was not any much of an example in their life, let alone not knowing if it meant anything to them in trying to be there for them when they needed someone to talk to. I really felt like they made me as though it didn't mean anything to them about how much it hurt me to see them that way. It was extremely hurtful for me to not have been there in more ways than one, whenever it felt like it was too unbearable for them to handle their situation. I also really tried to bear my testimony of how much I truly love this gospel of Jesus Christ on multiple occasions, but immediately just felt like I was continually getting a slap in the face for no apparent reason. 

I've never wanted to feel so emotionally frustrated, riled up and extremely upset in my entire life. I'll admit, during this experience I never wanted things to completely get out of hand like they did & not ever knowing if I can even be around those people who made me feel less of myself than I needed to feel in that very moment. I literally needed to make all of this craziness just immediately come to an end and because I was able to let our staff know... something will be done in the future. I am not gonna tolerate being mistreated/rile up for no reason whatsoever and will not be around people who continue to make feel less of myself in more ways than one. 

One of the most absolute hardest times in my life this year, was experiencing an unexpected loss of a friend whose life was cut too short. My good friend Josh was called back to his heavenly home about two months ago and he was never one who failed to make you feel good about yourself and to see things in a much brighter light. I am grateful for his example of what it means to always look for the best in other people around you and to never be afraid of what your challenges in life could teach you. I know he is never going to be forgotten and continues to always be in our thoughts everyday if not for the rest of eternity on this earth. I am grateful for his positive attitude that he continuously had throughout his mortal journey and inspiring so many people to just simply keep swimming and never let things that you are faced with, get in the way of what it could help you to become. 

Unforgettable Moments:

Becoming an auntie for the first time to the cutest little niece ever!!! It has definitely been quite an incredible transition for me to fully understand just how much fun being an auntie can be. I am so grateful for the unconditional love that I have for my niece, Skye who never fails to put a smile on my face and remind me of how to be a little happier in this world. 

Going to Mexico for a week vacation and spending time away in paradise was just what I needed more than anything in this world!! The weather was incredibly hot everyday and getting to wonder with all of the nature that I was able to see, it gave me a chance to reflect on how blessed I am to be living in such a beautiful world. 

Meeting the one and only David Archuleta who I will admit right now is a lot cuter in person, if you ask me!!! His singing voice just melts your heart and makes you feel so much better about life. I felt incredibly star struck getting to see him walk into that dressing room and squealing with excitement that cannot even be put into words at this very moment. We love you so much David and thank you again for making that special day one that will never be forgotten!!! You are truly one of the most lovable singers out there and always inspire me to look up whenever life gets to be more difficult than it should be. I am grateful for all of the many times that your music has strengthened me to get through the trials that have come up in my life this year. 

Being invited to my favorite blonde's surprise party at their parents house!! Loved every single minute of it than words could ever say!!! Getting to see them in the spotlight is truly something I know that I will never forget. It was literally such an amazing experience for me to be a part of an incredible and special day for someone who does so much for others. They are such an amazing influence not only in my life, but for so many people who would do any thing they could to make their day a little easier. This person has given so much of their time and energy into inspiring others to know that they are a strong person, as well as somebody who is a great example to those around them. I am grateful for the opportunity that I had to see them in the spotlight for once and celebrating them was a moment that I will cherish for many years to come!!! 

Throughout all of these experiences in my life this year, I can honestly tell you right now that it has reminded me of one little lesson: "It's okay...Just keep swimming!" I'm grateful for the message behind this sentence because it clearly goes to show that we need to just keep going forward in life and not ever lose sight of what is most important. 

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Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
With patience bear the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

This beautiful rendition performed by the well known Utah native, David Archuleta has become one of my most favorite songs to listen to of all time!!! I am so grateful for the powerful voice that he carries throughout this song and proclaiming a message of how our Savior, Jesus Christ is always on our side. He definitely bore all of our many burdens, tribulations, and everything we could not even begin to fathom ourselves alone going through while trying to do what Heavenly Father asked him to do. His continuous faith will remain with us whenever it feels almost unbearable to move forward in life's challenges and the blessings that come along with it too. I'm definitely not ever giving up on my Savior who continues to make it possible for me to strive in becoming more like him on a regular basis. He has certainly lead me into joyful ends more than once, after having faced some extremely difficult times in life that I never deserved to see myself go through. 

I am truly blessed to have been raised up in the church throughout my life and keeping a testimony of him with every trial that comes up in my path. I know this covenanted path isn't ever going to become any easier or let alone not have any stumbling blocks along the way, but it is through the one who knows me better than I can even begin to put into words about how things are going to turn out. I still have a lot more lessons to learn as everything that comes into my life teaches me something I need to understand.

He is going to provide a way for me and all of his children to return back to him, when the end of our mortal journey comes around. It is never impossible to not recognize his hand in our lives, when it feels like nothing more can wear us down without making us a little stronger and confident. I know that my life is never gonna necessarily turn out as well as I would prefer it to be at times, but he is in charge of how we choose to look around at our trials and understand that it is not quite as difficult as it may seem. 

I may never fully comprehend exactly how tough it must have been for him, to suffer all of the pains that we've ever had to face on this earth upon himself so we could endure through each of our spiritual journeys. I know it could never possibly become any harder for me to not snap my fingers and wish for those times to disappear--- but I am grateful to have the knowledge that I do in this world. I know that anyone who has passed onto the other side of the veil, is never too far away from me and continues to remind me of what I'm able to do in making some impact on others that surround me in my life. I know none of them could not imagine me not enduring through all of the many challenges that will never be a problem anymore, and just be completely made whole. This year has taught me many times about how fragile life is and holding onto those loved ones a little tighter, because we may not know when it could be their last day on this earth. 

With this heartbreak that is most likely going to take awhile for me to recover from, I know that any girl whose been through it can easily relate to what it feels like to deal with a situation like it. I am confident that there are only more lessons to take away from this experience and hopeful to meet another guy who can treat me in the right appropriate manner. I know there is a lot more for me to fully understand whenever it comes to being in a relationship with a guy and will not find myself rushing into something I wouldn't feel prepared for. Surprisingly, there has not been a tough time for falling asleep at night when this on my mind and wish it could easily fade itself away some place else. I know that when all of these feelings completely disappear out of my life and I'm willing to keep my trust in the Savior throughout it all. 

Shattered Heart

It's seriously been a difficult year for me in more ways than I could ever put into words right now, in this little blog post. I am completely and emotionally unstable to not feel completely shattered inside and outside with everything that has happened to me within these last two days, which I was not anticipating to turn out as great & successful as I would have expected.


I literally did whatever it took to not get emotional in front of people while being at this training and yet the tears immediately came to my eyes. It was also right when one of our staff members noticed me with red eyes and tears coming down my cheeks, that it would be next to impossible to not feel extremely hurt or upset let alone frustrated with what had occurred.



Aside from both of the meetings/workshops we had going on at this event, I was definitely able to learn some new stuff about how independent living centers are run and what is expected of those in charge. At the same time, I felt really discouraged with having to consistently listen to somebody mention someone who was such a part of my life for a long time and never stopped making me want to just yell at them to get this person to knock it off, but as for the person that I am in this world I ended up luckily I kept my mouth shut through most of it. It was extremely hard for me at various times during these two days, where I didn't want to not walk away from everything and just be at home. I never wanted to see this take place and make me feel like it wasn't that much of a big deal, but it only just led me into knowing that the person's true colors were beginning to show. 

I never wanted things for me at this event to turn out like they did... But unfortunately all of us need to learn lessons the hard way in life more than once. To also simply realize what it is trying to help me understand, when I did not want anything more to do with this and move forward on with other things instead. I really quite emotionally struggled with having to see someone that I really quite liked for a long period of time and then all of the sudden, things completely turn upside down when I was not prepared for it. 

Shortly after I returned home from this training, I immediately told one of our main staff members who was there in attendance at this day and a half training, about my situation and that this is gonna most likely get put to an complete end to what I had to go through this past week. I am looking forward to some of the changes that will happen from having self advocated for myself. I still have some little feelings left for the person who I literally want absolutely nothing to do with anymore and wonder if it's ever going to heal up over time or if it will take me an entire year and a half to move forward?? 

I'm really wanting this to all get in the past as soon as possible and let me find someone new whose just gonna treat me a lot better than I truly deserved times before this. I will not continue to be friends with someone who will make me feel less of myself than I really am and as a self advocate, it is not gonna continue on from here on out much longer... but if you must know I cannot handle stressful confrontations with people too well. I know it will never get much easier with any new person that walks into my life and wants to take things slow before thinking about getting serious. I am not ever going to feel as ready for a new chapter in life until this one closes and I can instantly start over with things that will make me feel more at peace with what I know my Heavenly Father wants me to be aware of. Here is a little quote that I hope can give someone out there a peace of mind, especially if they are going thru a heartbreak they never saw coming into their path at this time. I know there is someone else better in this world for me to get to know and take my time being around, so that when the timing is right (not only for him but for the both of us to start a new journey together... Everything from this will fall into place and be put back together again!!!) 

Gratitude - Part One

"Never let the things you want, make you forget the things you have."

This past year alone has literally been a very emotional and rewarding experience for me, in more ways than one. Some of the most unforgettable and hardest moments in my life have strengthened me into a better person as well as trying to strive everyday to become more like my Savior, Jesus Christ. I am grateful for everything that has given me a chance to reflect on the many blessings in my life, and if I can honestly admit--I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for those who have stuck with me through it all. I've had to really learn the hard way this last yer and a half about who my true friends are from those who never will be. It has never stopped me from wanting to express my gratitude for the many highs that this life has continued to show me, even if I didn't necessarily deserve it at the time. 

I am immensely grateful for the examples of my friends who have kept me in their thoughts and prayers through out this year. All of you have literally made me want to strive harder in this world to be a little better and recognize that everything happens for a reason, whether I've liked it or not. I am thankful for all the many laughs and fun times we have shared together, because it definitely reminded me that there is so much good in the world. 

I am truly grateful for the unforgettable opportunity that I have of volunteering in two different classes this year, at the neighborhood elementary school. It has literally been such an absolute treat for me to get better acquainted with the most incredibly talented & sweet teachers ever this year!!! I am thankful for your patience with me as I continue to learn new things from you both every week & making the best of any new task that you ladies give me to do. I am incredibly grateful for their credit into helping me become the best volunteer that I can be in this world and have really enjoyed being around their students each week. It has definitely been a challenge for me at times to not wish that there was more I could do in just helping them out with this, but I know it makes their days a lot less stressful when I can lend a hand with something they need to have taken care of. 

I am grateful for the power of prayer in my life, more than anything in this universe!!! I know it will never fail to strengthen somebody whenever things feel almost unbearable, that heavenly helps make everything better. During this struggling school year for a friend of mine, I have consistently prayed for them multiple times each day as much as I possibly can, because it has already given them a little bit of courage to endure through their struggles to get organized in their classroom. It seems like such a small thing to do for just anybody that we know and love, but it has strengthened me in ways that I never could have expected. I have tried to let this person know that I will never stop praying for them throughout this extraordinary school year and make the best of everything that seems difficult, some what easier in some way if at all possible. 

Latest News

Miss Amazing Pageant 2019

It's been quite awhile from when I last shared anything on this new experience in my life, and to be completely honest with you all on here...I have slowly begun the registration process for it. Until I have figured out what my talent will be and get choreography made up with my older sister, getting an official head shot of myself for the program book, along with everything else in between. I know somebody like me would never think to try out in being part of an extraordinary pageant that empowers individuals such as myself who want more than anything to have their voices heard and making new friendships with people that I have never met before. I am determined to make this new change in my life and motivating others to do the same for themselves as well if they choose to at one point in their journey. 

Youth Advisory Committee Training (November 7th-8th)

In a couple of weeks from tomorrow, I will be headed up to Park City, Utah for a day and a half training about what it is like to be on a board committee as well as giving input on what a lot of individuals such as myself, to advocate for more funding in order to make things happen. I have never imagined to be on something like this and yet it gives me a chance to be trained on various things that I know will make an impact on my life for years down the road. It will be all expenses paid trip with getting to spend quality time with friends who I rarely ever see throughout the year because of the fact we all live far away from each other. I truly love all of them so much and with everything they are doing to make this world a better place, has never ceased to amaze me in more ways than one!!! It is such an extraordinary privilege to be a part of this committee and learning so much from the people who have not only been so fun to get to know better, but hearing about what they want to accomplish in life is fantastic!!! 

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Over these past several days, I have literally never stopped listening to this powerful and emotional ballad titled Numb by the well loved Utah native, David Archuleta. I am seriously obsessed w/ this fairly not so old single written by him almost a year ago and the message behind it has never left me since I began listening to it over this last weekend. I am completely in love with all of the emotion that he so amazingly well puts into this one song and reminds me that just simply being out in nature, to just immediately become one with yourself especially when times get hard. 

I definitely do not have any kind of an idea about this well loved musical artist went through shortly after they returned home from their LDS mission in a foreign country, that he didn't know about whether or not David with trying to get back into the music industry was even close to being the right decision for him to make. I am not necessarily trying to admit that I know much about this particular story at all, but he continued to stay true to himself in everything that happened in his life. I am so amazingly grateful for his example to each one of us about how we can either let things in our lives tear us down or just want to simply teach us something important. This legitimate brand new single of David Archuleta's has consistently been played on iPhone and words cannot even describe how obsessed I am with his angelic voice. It has certainly been a whirlwind of emotions for me to learn lessons that I never wanted to go thru or face at this time in my life, but obviously I didn't think much about it while listening to this powerful song. If you haven't ever thought to listen to a specific song that means a great deal to you in some way... Please don't neglect to re play it over and over as many times you need to in order to feel better about what is got you troubled. It could easily put your self at peace with whatever it is you are struggling to see past or let alone, just needing a very simple life reminder to clear your mind about a problem you have not been able to overcome. 

The emotional rawness in these lyrics of this song have definitely reminded me that we can always learn something from the experiences each one of us face on a regular basis. These past couple of months alone during this year, I have listened to so many songs that have strengthened me in ways I could never have even thought to imagine. It has also given me a sense of this escape into another world that nobody else needs to know about and due tot he fact, that I can easily choose for myself whether or not I want to give something a second chance or just try hard to not feel numb. 

I have been given my unexpected fair share of experiences this year with unimaginable heartache from someone who I really liked as well as wanted to get to know better, but until I learned the real story behind our relationship-- I needed to immediately get out of it as quickly as I could possible. I may never know or completely understand what it was that David faced in his life during this time period, but I do believe our Heavenly Father works through us and regardless of whatever we are faced with.. He will make it better in his timing. I know that life's never meant to be easy for anyone of us and sometimes we need an extra reminder in what can mold us into better people as well as more disciples of our Savior, Jesus Christ. 

I am determined to never loose hope in whatever occurs in my life as the years keep passing by and remind me that it is okay to not have a perfect understanding of why life is such a challenge, but if we didn't have those kind of experiences on this earth- How would we ever recognize that the lord is only helping us to become more like him everyday in whatever it is that we do? I'm truly grateful to know that we can always strive to make each day of our own lives a little more meaningful than the last one, because we might never know when it would be our almost last chance to leave a mark for people to live by.

David Archuleta - Numb (Official Music Video)