Beautiful Perspective

"You are not called to serve in a place; you are called to serve in place of the Savior."

Whenever you think about someone heading off to a far away place and not knowing if you will ever see them again is a completely different situation to put yourself in for various reasons. I am most confident that this difficulty that I have had lots of time to reflect back on and immediately start realizing that this someone we love so much is serving in a place of the Savior. He went about his entire life serving those around him and instead of complaining on what easily could have been a very difficult task but saw it as an opportunity to change other people's lives. I would never have thought in the time that I've had to think on this particular case not having seen that way before somebody like me starts making all of these faults on the things they would be doing to make others happy. What extraordinary blessings they will have come into their lives as they are going about serving like the Savior did while he lived on this earth & instead of making themselves feel bad, it is not at all what I'd originally anticipated this to be. 

If you read through my last post on all of those emotionally upset feelings I had, it was certainly one of those experiences that I'm seriously hoping to never face again in my lifetime. I know it was not the easiest or happiest entry to read on this blog of mine but unless I decided to not share what was in my heart at that moment, my life would have been completely different right now. 

You Raise Me Up


When I am down and oh my soul, so weary
When troubles come, and my heart burdened be
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence
Until you come and sit awhile with me.


You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up to more than I can be


You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up to more than I can be


You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You rasie me up to walk on stormy seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up to more than I can be


You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up to more than I can be


You raise me up to more than I can be.

During the course of while I was struggling through this tribulation and focusing on the Savior in a way that I cannot even begin to describe into words. He has raised me and each of us up during what we thought was the end of something we'd rather not have to experience again at some point in time. I would not even be the person I've become in this world if I did not have my Savior, Jesus Christ to give me that extra boost of confidence to see the good in what is around me. I know in these beautiful lyrics to the popular well known song, "You Raise Me Up" has definitely been such an escape for me to just continue relying on the one who has already gone through everything that we would ever not think of ourselves facing in our lives. He has significantly blessed my life in ways that I probably don't necessarily deserve for whatever reasons I could have thought of but it never fails to make me understand why it is that I am here on this earth to fufill that mission. 

In this beautiful portrait of Christ reaching down for this little girls hand to lift her out of the water, I cannot even begin to wonder that this is the way he continues to see in our daily lives on a regular basis. He is not afraid to reach out his hand & give us a boost to get up back onto our feet in spite of the challenges that hold us down from being closer to him. If there is one thing that I love about this picture is that we are never alone and even if we have difficulties that are not easy for us to deal with, I know it is because of him that we can make it through anything that our lives experience. 

Coping With Changes

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

As much as I absolutely loved and cherished my time being in the greatest YSA ward ever, I still and have always continuously struggled with accepting the changes of whatever the students decided to do with their lives. I would also think in my mind that they didn't want to be around me anymore or that it was just simply a way for them to completely forget about somebody like myself who loved and cared about them so deeply. Regardless of wherever they choose to go in this world of ours, I'm honestly just not certain to let them know what an emotional situation they are putting me into and maybe some of them are perfectly happy with it. My parents have reminded me several times that all of those kinds of people don't necessarily care for even a second about how hard it is for me to watch them go somewhere far away and not ever know if I'd even see them again. It was always left such a deep hole inside of my heart because I was never quite fully prepared for what their next chapters of their lives and wondering if it was just something they didn't want me to know about.

Some of my YSA friends really find an interest with creating Facebook pages for their friends and families to join and give them the extra support they need in order to accomplish whatever it is they are choosing to set their hearts on. I am honestly not sure why an individual like myself puts in an effort to check out these things... but not having realized what it was they were getting themselves into for some reason. Awhile back I was scrolling through facebook and trying to avoid the chance of every single spontaneous facebook page invitation that I'd get let alone having to not take too close to heart. I was not trying to be insensitive of their feelings and goals in life, but I am not necessarily happy with what I ended up seeing across on one of my friends facebook pages and staring blankly at that their sweet comment made. 

If there was much of anything to get out of this situation it was absolutely what I didn't expect to feel as emotionally upset and frustrated as I was at the time. I felt like my reputation was on the spot of just being at this edge of a cliff and hoping in that very moment to stand on both my feet. It was extremely hard for me to stare at those absolutely loving and firm words in this text message that this individual had sent me and even though they didn't come across being harsh, the instinctive thought of not knowing what I was going to feel in that moment if it should have been perfect joy or in other words angered emotions that were all mixed up inside me. I felt so completely and utterly alone in not realizing it was nothing that had to do with our friendship in anyway, but it felt like a part of their influence was no longer present which absolutely terrified me beyond words that you are reading in this blog post. 

This is so called facebook page was titled in abbreviated terms: UVMM. It was almost like this particular invitation to like this organization ended up coming to me as a punch in the stomach and that I was supposedly this person who got drawn into it for absolutely no logical reason whatsoever. Why in the world would I even have something to offer to this group of people who I wouldn't feel comfortable getting to know better or wanting to genuinely share my support for their efforts into making this not such a necessary issue in this world. I feel completely out of this emotional fear and deep frustration that this was exactly what someone whose SO close to me in life would politely ignore what my feelings about them doing this would be to a particular extent. I am not here to pretend like this has been one of the happiest times in my life because I can at least tell you what a hard & piercing experience this has turned out to be over the course of time. 

To make this long story short, it has been a couple of weeks now since this all took place and I'm gonna try my hardest to pretend like it's okay with me that this person wants to do some good in this world. I know for a person like myself who consistently doesn't want to have to handle the trials of life that it brings to them, there is probably much more to what I'm getting across in my blog post than at any other time. With all of this being said, I know that when I look towards the One who has already paid that ultimate price for us to live with him again and as long as we hang onto his hand, this life will be nothing short of a blessing. 

Reflections (Part Two)

"Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them."

I've always thought in the back of my mind that if there was anything I needed to work through in life, that I would just try to take care of it on my own and involve other people to help me out. Friendship has a very important part of my life and it was never something that I take for granted because from personal experiences I've learned to realize who my true friends are & others who are not. I am grateful for those people who have continuously reached out their hands to help me through what could be any particular situation and trying my hardest to never forget it. I know that not only does their support give me a boost of confidence I really need more than anything else, but having the knowledge of having the Savior on my side every single step of the way. He has guided me through moments that I thought were completely unncessary and not what I really wanted to experience for myself but it never fails to put a smile on my face, whenever I need it the most. He has never once let me not feel as though what he was putting me through at the time, was not something he knew I couldn't handle without his strength and direction. I am definitely humbled & blessed to know that in regards of whatever we are dealing with, all of us have someone who perfectly knows what it feels like to be in that challenging time. He has never once failed me in what could have been a lot more trying situation in regards of all that has taken place this week and seeing the light at the end of this tunnel. Remember awhile back in one of my blog posts when I shared about this portrait of Christ that hangs on the wall of my family room & I have looked carefully at that photo more times than I ever have before. It really has such a great and wonderful importance to me as I ponder on the many things that He has done for me so that I could be here today. 

When I Look At You


Everybody needs inspiration.
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melody
When the night's are long

Cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy

(Chorus) 
Yeah when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I
I look at you

When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can't find my way home anymore
That's when I, I
I look at you



When I look at you, I see forgiveness, I see the truth
You love me for who I am, like the stars hold the moon
Right where they belong
And I know I'm not alone!

I honestly feel like the words in this beautiful song remind me of whenever we need to look at the brighter side of any situation we have in this life, that our Savior will be there to walk us through it and no matter the challenging times that lie ahead--there is no doubt in my mind about him talking with each of us through this song. Never shy away from turning yourself to someone who has been through it all and probably so much more than we could ever imagine at this time in our lives. This week has been one of the most spiritual and uplifting ones for me because in spite of all the many things that were going on around me. If there was anything from this week that I wished had never taken place, I probably would not be sitting here right now and sharing my thoughts with all of you on what this means to me on a personal level. I am truly blessed for the ways this life has continued giving me experiences so that I can keep learning and growing into what my Savior would like me 2 be in this world. 

Closing Remarks

I would never second guess that because of what I've shared with you all today, that I would not think twice about turning to look at the Savior for his strength in helping me through the struggles each one of us consistently deal with. I know he has raised me up to not only be a little better, but to never stop striving to be more like him in the many things that could easily bring us down. I know this gospel is true without a shadow of a doubt and I would not know what to do in any situation or challenge that he didn't know I couldn't see myself not putting my faith/trust in his hands. 

Reflections (Part One)

"Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger, in the presence of my Savior."

I've always known that regardless of anything I ever have to face in my life, the Savior will always be there for us and lift us up whenever we need him the most at any given moment. I have always known that for about as long as I can remember and trying to keep that spiritual perspective in mind at all times or wherever I am in this world. 

I know that faith doesn't necessarily make things easier for us, but it makes them possible and sometimes I need to recognize that in my life a little more than I normally do. I am not particularly sure what my Father in Heaven is trying to teach me at this time about whether or not I need to remember that His hand is always outstretched still waiting for me to take a hold of at some point whenever I need to hang onto it.



Whenever I have reflected back on this past week and the things that I have had to experience were incredibly difficult for a person like me to never quite fully understand for whatever reasons those may be. I know for me it hasn't ever continued to be so less or more challenging to keep those people in my life, than it has been over the past twenty years or whatever u would like to narcissistically picture that in your head.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................

"A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand & touches your heart."

This past week I was about to the point where things in my life felt impossibly unbearable to look into seeing as a positive influence on me. I will not go into the details of what happened but the fact that it was not something I'd even come close to recognizing as a problem for me which it never will be at any time in my life. I know that I will never come to understand everything that took place over the course of this week alone and leading up to what was going on, I felt this emptiness in my heart--that I had never felt before but who knows what could happen down the road?? Am I ever gonna feel like it was an experience that my Father in Heaven knew I needed to go through in order to fully just understand what was happening in this moment?? I am probably one of the fewest people on planet earth who would ever learn something from what took place and not knowing if it was ever much of any of my business to have heard about this particular situation???? I may never have that answer to what I wanted to have at that time of this struggle and yet noticing everyone around me knew all of the circumstances in regards to the trial that was in front of their faces? I know my friends who had this experience not be of anything that was not close to necessary for me to be there in comforting each of them for???? 

I am not trying to come across emotionally negative about all of this, but in the sense of what I was experiencing this week alone I didn't feel nearly as prepared for what was to come. I know when my friends from many memorable moments of my life were there at this occasion we had attended, that even one of them who I have felt so immensely close to more than anything would not have seen all of that pain I was consistently having a hard time seeing past from what was in front of their faces... 

FLASH BACK to earlier this week and trying to emotionally understand what was really going on here. I will never fully understand the sense of what was happening and yet again I knew my heart was not ever going to feel the same again after a situation like this one. I know that it was not at all one of the happiest moments in my life and let alone was it that way for anyone elses. It has literally been a very difficult week for me to not see past what is right front of my face and letting it help me grow into a better person. I am not here today to make it come across being down about myself...but having realized that it was the way things needed to be is a little harder for me to kind of get the bigger picture into what this is really about. 

Am I ever gonna completely know or not feel like this experience was not something my Father in Heaven knew I needed to go through in order to just understand what had just taken place???? I am probably one of the few pple in this world, who would ever learn something from a trial such as this one and not have quite fully figured out what was making everyone grieve in such pain???? Obviously, I noticed everyone around who knew so much more about this than I did for me to make the effort of realizing that they knew exactly what was going on???? 




I will not ever quite have seen the bigger picture in what was truly an emotional rollercoaster of emotions for me?!?!! I may not see myself wanting to face this kind of situation again and yet it was nothing more than just a whirlwind of ya know unexpected/confused feelings?? I'll most likely never know why things didn't turn out better than it should have and regardless of whatever those hardships are that come into our lives, We have someone there with us to make our burdens less heavy than it needs to be. 

Spiritual Reminder

"Even in the most difficult and darkest of times, there is light and goodness all around us."

To me, this quote really just needs to remind all of us and myself included, that no matter what situations life throws at us without even realizing it-- there will always be something good to come out of them. It isn't necessarily anything that is going to make ourselves miserable or feel like it's not fair we can't explain to anyone else about how we really need to cope with what is going on. 

I will stand by you

I will help you through

When you've done all you can do

And you can't cope

I will dry your eyes

I will fight your fight

I will hold you tight

And I won't let go...

These lyrics are the chorus of a song that I've listened to in my bedroom multiple times and never paid much attention to them, until just recently that it had me think of this analogy. The words of this chorus remind me that despite anything we ever have to face in life, the Savior will always and forever be there standing by us through our tribulations. He will be there next to you and I with drying away our tears to help us fight our spiritual battles, regardless of how challenging the situation really appears to be. He will hold us close to him as we go throughout our everyday lives to make sure we continue to be on His side of the line and not anyone elses. I truly have felt like the Savior is talking to me personally in these lyrics and as I've blogged about one too many times already that he is never going to leave us in handling things by ourselves. Even if we sometimes think we can handle it by ourselves, it is never the case because he is and always will be there for us to lighten our heavy burdens that we all have. I know he isn't going to let go of us through any period of time in our struggles because he has already paid that unfathomable price to let us never forget that we are not alone. He may not give me the answers I'm desperately wanting right away and yet when I have found myself kneeling down in prayer to him, there is not one single trial that I cannot see the goodness coming from it. Once I got back in attending my special needs institute class this year, I have truly felt more closer to my Savior than ever before and I love the peace he can bring in our lives everyday of the week. In our family room, we have this portrait of the Savior that our amazing YSA ward friends presented us with as a thank you while back and whenever I've looked at it from across the way, I know that he is not out of my sight. It also reminds me that he is constantly wanting us to be more like him and to never forget that because of what he went through for all of us, we can strive to become a little better. 

Like the lyrics in this beautiful song I just shared with you, it's titled: "I Won't Let Go." and to me this is exactly the message I need to be reminded of on a regular basis. It helps me to remember the Savior's hand in my life and in everything that I'm striving to do to be more like him. I have probably glanced if not more than one too many times at that portrait of our Savior and just this week alone, I know that he is watching over me in everything that I do to make myself become more like Him each day. 

I know that without any shadow of a doubt, our Savior, Jesus Christ lives and that he will always be there with us no matter how difficult our challenges are for us. I know he wouldn't give me or anyone else something that he knows we couldn't handle in the things that we face, because he has always been there whether I've recognized it at certain times or not. While I was listening to this song last night in my bedroom, I knew right in that moment in time I was not going to be on my own with this particular situation and remembering who I am in the eyes of my Father in Heaven. I know it wouldn't have made me just start having a different perspective if I were not choosing to share this experience with all of you who are looking through it. 

In sharing these lyrics with you guys today, I am grateful for the knowledge of having a purpose on this earth and the things I need to remember are just only making me a better person. It's not meant to give me more obstacles that are needed to be placed in front of me, but to remind me that my focus should be on the blessings that will come from it to keep us humble. I know for me personally all of the posts that I've shared in the last few days have certainly made me a little more in tune with what I need to remember and to never lose sight of the Savior in my life. 

Grateful Heart

I am grateful for....

The incredible & wonderful opportunity that I had of attending my special needs institute class at UVU. It was truly such a pleasure getting to be a part of a class where the spirit was very strong & inspired me to want to be a better person. I am grateful for the amazing teacher that we had & being able to learn so much from about the gospel. I loved every single minute of this experience so much and getting the chance to express what was in my heart, was really great too. I may never know what next semester will bring us and yet I feel like I was able to get more out of the lessons this time, than ever before just because the class is not as large as it used to be. At this time in my life, I am grateful for the chance I have to go to Institute and feel of the spirit so strongly. It has been such a blessing in my life to go somewhere and learn about the gospel on a weekly basis. 

My friends who I've gotten to know through attending various leadership conferences and having had the opportunity to be in a student ward. I am grateful for their goodness and willingness to reach out to other people who may need a friend or someone to talk to. I am humbled to have them in my life, and getting the chance to know each of them has made me a better person. I know it isn't easy for us together and plan something really fun, but at the same time I know that as a person I will never, ever be the same. I am grateful for their examples to me of what it means to see good in this world and to always remember what is important, regardless of anything that comes in our way. Thank you all so much for being who you are and I am eternally grateful to call you my friends!!

#LightTheWorld

As I've been thinking in my mind about this worldwide LDS church initiative, I have just recently thought of an experience where I was able to help out someone who needed my prayers. For anyone that doesn't already know this about me, my family served in a YSA ward for a period of time and it was truly one of the most cherished experiences ever. One of my truest friends that I got the chance of being able to meet in our student ward went through an experience of which I will not go into any details about, but getting to pray for them during a time when they needed it warmed my heart. I just knew in my heart that my Savior, Jesus Christ was aware of what had been taking place and that this individual needed my help. I know without a shadow of a doubt, that through our heavenly father and his son Jesus Christ we will be able to make a difference in the lives of other people. 

I don't know what my life would turn out to become if I didn't ever have the gospel. I love it so much and the peace it brings into my heart whenever I'm struggling with anything. I know it will make me feel happier inside to know that I can pray for others who may need it more than I do. While this was happening at the time, I knew in my heart that I would be able to lift someone up by just praying for them everyday and knowing that it would all be okay. I am grateful for the power of prayer and that regardless of whatever it is we are going through in life, if we just take the time to kneel down & talk with our heavenly father everything is gonna turn out alright. I know in my heart that if we can think of someone who may need our prayers at any time, to think of them and what the Savior would do to strengthen one of his own.