Words

Sometimes I really wish that the words all of us would share with people didn't come across feeling like "Little Toy Guns" and not realizing in those moments what was really going on at the time. I know for me it's never felt like that way until a month ago, when I wrote up two blog posts that indicated my personal/emotional toll on a situation that left me in absolute tears all day long. Every single facebook post that I saw of people that I knew coming up onto my news feed, it felt like one of those "Little Toy Guns" going off as loud as it possibly could & then doing it for extenstive periods of time. Obviously, it has never fully occurred to me that how I reacted was such a nuisance on me and from that time on leading up today, I have never wanted to experienced anything like that for as long as possible but you didn't hear it from me. Over the last month or so, it has literally taken it's toll on me in a way that I never fully expected to hear and yet some people continously shoot off those guns everyday without recognizing the damage that is right behind them. I'm not writing up this blog post to make you all pretend as though it wasn't anything you've not already heard before, but when does that moment in your life make itself welcome and you feel perfectly at ease with what is currently taking place???? For me, I feel as if the words coming from a blog post like this one are not anything short of a another reason for someone to sigh as loud as they can and roll their eyes all the way back to their head, but I'm not going to be the person who firmly clears to explain to someone that it offends me more than anything you could see right in front of them. I am not someone whose never going to feel like this a grudge for anyone to just take a hold of and pretend to be feeling okay with it, even if they have no idea what it's making them feel like deep down inside. 

I AM...

Confident. Determined. Kind Hearted. Genuine. Honest. Truthful. Fabulous. A Daughter Of God. Wonderful. A Good friend who speaks the truth regardless of what they are going through in life. Someone who speaks their mind even if it is hard and unfair in any kind of situation. STRONG. Beautiful. Willing to stand up for herself and let her voice be heard. Not afraid to let her friends know what she is thinking at any given moment. A Leader/Self Advocate. Hardworking. Trustworthy. Loving person with a heart of gold. A real person with emotions/feelings that are not going to be silenced. Powerful in the things I'm willing to let people know about me. 

Happy Ending... (Part Two)

With everything that I do in my life, I always and will try to strive to follow the Savior. It's never been something that I have ever questioned in my mind or had second thoughts about, for any particular reason. While I was attending my NINJA Youth Leadership Conference a few weeks ago, I brought up this question: "What part about it do you not understand?" I've never found myself asking someone this question and wondering if it was even the right thing to ask at the time, but then again I know this gospel is what continues to help me through life's experiences that we all have. NINJA Conference is not much closer to anything like girls camp where you have one night throughout the week to share your thoughts/feelings on what's important to you and striving to always be a little better each day. I know in my heart that this gospel is what continues to bring smiles to my face everyday and I wouldn't ever want to see myself trade it for anything that somebody else thought would've been better. I love my Savior, Jesus Christ so much more than ever before and that is because when I was out at UVU attending my special needs institute class, I absolutely loved feeling the spirit of my Heavenly Father so strongly & kicking off my week in something like that was truly a great experience. I know this life was never meant to be easy for anyone and let alone people who may not have the gospel in their lives, but I am grateful to know that I'm never going to handle anything without being an instrustment in His hands. I am not trying to come across being too preachy or religious here, but as you can already tell this gospel is what gives me hope and strength to overcome my stumbling blocks or what ever it is that is right in front of me. I feel like this past year I have tried to share my spiritual thoughts a little more than I normally do and that is simply because it means so much to me more than a lot of people in my life think it does. I'm truly grateful for the knowledge that I've always believed in to be the only way back to my heavenly home and I am never gonna shy away from it. I know that my trials and obstacles are never going to get any much easier, but I do know in my heart that there is more my Savior, Jesus Christ wants me to understand a little bit better. My name is Courtney Edgington and... (look below at the pic)

Happy Ending... (Part One)

If there was anything in this world to make me not recognize how much courage it takes to put your faith in the Savior, then I'm probably not meant to write up this so called post. I am not sure if there was anything in my life where I wasn't ever relying on my Savior, Jesus Christ to make my burdens light and not quite as difficult as they appeared to be. It's definitely been awhile since I last blogged anything on here about things that have a great significance to me and always will. If you've chosen to perceive this post of mine as something of not worth reading through, then you can easily make the decision to not scroll any further. I truly have to believe that this profound quote I came across on my facebook news feed earlier today, was certainly something that I probably needed to hear and come to terms with in what is really happening here. I know that this isn't necessarily probably one of those so called happiest blog posts you'll ever read in your life, but this quote means so much to me on a level of what I know has always been a part of me. It's never easy to keep my mouth shut about what I've always believed in to share with people and yet I wouldn't want to see myself in a situation where it was the both of us trying to convince the other one that what I was trying to share was not anything short of being true. If whatever I end up sharing with you all today in this post is nothing further from what I've held so tightly onto and never try in failing on the unexpected outcomes that could result within having to try as hard as I can to share my thoughts today.

AFTER YOU READ THROUGH THIS POST---Hopefully you get something better out of it and try to not perceive this as just a "So Called "broken" & "disabled" person just striving to get people's attention so that they don't feel like their thoughts are not come across as what you'd say--- Oh, I don't know, "Like something a normal person wouldn't ever think to share with the rest of the world". It's obvious to those of you reading this right now that I wouldn't ever write a post that was supposed to appear as being normal or not something you would think to not share with pple who NEVER READ through my posts unless I felt like it was worth my time letting people of this universe know about what is important to me!!!! Perceive that however you choose to, but don't say I didn't think to warn you about this, because unless you choose not to continue on with scrolling, then it's your own fault, not mine!!

Whenever I have put my trust and faith in my Savior, Jesus Christ-- there is not one single thing he wouldn't be there to help me understand better or have a life lesson to learn from it. I know it isn't a very common inspiring quote you'd find across on facebook, but this one in particular stood out to me in a way that I've never known before until this very moment. I know it isn't like me to be powerfully intrigued by something like this, and it may not be what you would want it to be & yet it continuously blesses me in a way that I know has made me more aware of my spiritual outlooks on life. 

My entire life I've already known what is important to me and never letting it get in the way of other worldly outside influences around me. I know it isn't necessarily surprising to people out there who are reading this that I would never hesitate for a second about what keeps me going forward in the many challenges I have on a consistent basis if not more than the average person experiences. I'm not here today pretending to sound like my life is perfect in anyway shape or form, because nobody's life is that close to what you are probably thinking. I know it wouldn't change my mind for a second on whatever comes up in my path of what my mission on this earth is supposed to be like. Just because we have stumbling blocks that never accidentally get in our paths and trying to be more alert of the many ways I can better myself to be more like the Savior everyday. 

All of us are going to have happy endings to our life stories and sometimes it might be more than what you'd think of it being. I know there is not much more to what I'm really getting across here than anything else in this blog post you are currently scrolling through. I am grateful more than I'll admit at this moment in time of what is important to me and never fails to brighten my perspectives on everything that gets thrown at us occasionally. Keep pushing yourself forward with faith and trust in the Savior to help you through anything that may seem like next to impossibly unbearable for us to handle. Our Savior, Jesus Christ will never give us something he knows we couldn't possibly get thru in having his hand direct us in the right way of where we are supposedly needed to be right now. I am grateful for the many unexpected times I've recieved peace in my heart and soul in the midst of every trial that I've ever had to experience either alone or with somebody else. 

(End of Part One)

NINJA Conference

2017 NINJA Youth Leadership Conference Highlights

- Getting the unforgettable experience of reuniting with my NINJA friends was an absolute treat more than anything in this world.


- Staying up late with my roommates and talking till all of us just silently fell asleep in our dorm rooms.



- Spending time on the legit USU Ropes Course with everyone and learning so many things about what it takes to be a good leader/self advocate and person in my community.


- Having my hair done up super awesome by one of the newest youth participants and dancing the night away with them.


- Playing Just Dance 2014 on the Wii Game System till late into the night hours with everybody in the main common area of our dormority.


- Attending/Helping out with the leadership conference workshops we had going on & being a part of the Mentor Panel before dinner time started.


- Waking up early in the morning with having had little sleep the night before and never complaining once about how exhausted I was.


- Playing the traditional getting to know pple NINJA game with everybody (including the staff we had with us. Getting to do it in small groups with the people we were assigned to work with and help out in making the activity an enjoyable, rewarding, fun experience.


- Being a Youth Mentor with my NINJA friends was truly one of the most memorable things ever & cannot wait to do it all over again next year!!

- Swimming at the USU Recreation Center till 9 at night and making sure everyone had a friend to talk to as well as hang out with. 


- Snacking on pretty much treats the entire week and making bracelets for the dance that was coming up the following day.



As you can tell from these brief little statements of what happened at this NINJA Conference, there was not one single thing I would have changed about it & truly cherished getting the opportunity to be more of an adult this time from being a youth participant. I'll never forget it and cannot wait for next year to get here!!! #FingersCrossed 

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SEVEN YEARS AGO--I was seventeen years old and just finished up my senior year of high school. I know that a lot of pple would have expected me to think of going away from home into what you would call the so college life, but if you don't necessarily know about my personal life circumstances I can only hope that will answer your questions. After I had attended this so called Disability National Youth Leadership Conference in October of last year, one of the staff who was with us mentioned their adaptive going away to college program called "Aggies Elevated." At this time in my life, it certainly sounded like an adventure and something completely new to see myself getting into with figuring out the decisions I'd have to make in this process. I have been a volunteer aide at this local elementary school for many years and never imagined myself wanting to leave that behind me, to start on this new journey of being more independent. To make this long story short, I never ended up applying to be in this program and as incredibly disappointated as I felt at the time-- there was not an option of me ever wanting to leave everything back at home. Over these past seven years of being a volunteer aide at Westridge Elementary, words will never be able to describe what a great life changing experience it has turned out to become. I have loved getting to help out so many awesome students over the years and learning from them has been such an absolute treasure for me, whether you know it or not. It has truly given me the opportunity to grow and step out of my comfort zone a little bit in a way that I never felt as comfortable doing at the time, but I am never gonna trade this experience for anything else in this world. I am so grateful for the two amazing teachers that I've had the privilege of working alongside with this year and I feel so blessed to have done whatever was necessary. Thank you both so much for an unforgettable school year and one that I will cherish in my heart forever!!

Three Days left until this school year is over... which I will admit has my mind all over the place. It has been such an amazing time for me to learn things that I never thought I'd see myself do. I am so grateful for the skills I have been able to take away from this year and I cannot wait to see what the future has in store. It is hard to even believe that another year has come and gone so quickly, but I'll never forget those many memories that I was able to make with my students. There is not one single thing that I would have felt like needed to be changed this year (expect for maybe when I didn't feel as though I performed various tasks as well I wanted to.) In spite all of the many ups/downs that I've had throughout the years from this experience, I cannot even begin to thank everyone enough for the appreciation and love that I've felt since coming into this chapter of my life. Thank you all so much for letting me have the volunteering opportunity of a lifetime and cannot wait to see the next school year holds for us!! 

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NINJA Mentor Training

As many of you know that I've been a participant at this NINJA Youth Leadership Conference for three years and then getting the opportunity to go back as a Mentor this summer is such a dream come true!!! I am very much aware of the many expectations and guidelines that I will need to be following in order for this to be a successful week for those involved. It's really amazing to have a chance of being able to offer as much support and input as I can to the youth we are serving, but as well as helping out the Center Staff too. They are such a great and wonderful group of people who have continously supported us in everything that we've done, whether or not we noticed just how much of a impact it would make on our lives. After having been to the conference as a participant, there was absolutely nothing about it I would have wanted to see change or taken place differently- regardless of what those are. 

YESTERDAY AFTERNOON-- My mom and twin sister drove me & our best friend, Danielle up to Salt Lake so that we could attend this NINJA Mentor Training. This particular meeting was truly an amazing experience for us who are going to be there as Staff and believe me, it is a lot more than I'd originally saw on the application. All of us have specific things that we need to work on before this conference takes place and trying not to be too loud, shy, or finding ourselves talking too fast that a lot of people won't be able to understand. It certainly has me thinking fairly hard about making sure that I follow the rules/guidelines as best as I possibly can, because if you must know-- going to this from a different point of view. There have been various moments when I tend to find myself talking way too fast and not being able to slow down what is coming out of my mouth. I know it will be an amazing opportunity to grow as a person and self advocate in the sense, of being able to put my best foot forward in this conference. I am incredibly grateful for this new role that my friends & I will be able to take on throughout the week that we are there helping out. It will not only be super fun, but I know there will be a lot of things I need to take seriously and not be someone who won't be willing and brave enough to step up on things as much as I possibly can. 

To make this long story short, all of the mentors/our staff who were there with us took all of girls out to lunch at Cafe ZUPAS!! (Absolutely incredible and scrumptious if you must know... there is not one thing there I haven't liked or that wasn't the best meal choice for me.) It was super fun getting to have that girl time together and laugh till our hearts were completely tired!! After that, we headed back to the office and watched two videos of what leadership means to us, rather than making it a lot more of a bigger deal than it should be. It is simply about reaching out to people or friends that we know, in a way that we haven't ever been able to do before-- but I also think it has to do with the little things. It's definitely one of the most rewarding things that I'll probably ever get to do as a self advocate, but I'm more than happy to take this leadership role very seriously and give a helping hand whenever it has to be needed at any given moment. 

#NINJA4Life