Remembrance

Happy Two Year Friendversary, Josh!!! Life is certainly not the same without you around to talk and laugh with on a regular basis. It has really given me an opportunity to grow and learn from my experiences, just regardless of how difficult they can become sometimes for us. Life has seriously thrown me a lot of curve balls that I was not prepared to see coming and cannot wish for them to just immediately disappear.


I am grateful for the light you were in my life throughout all these years and wish you could be here to see all of the many unforgettable moments happening right now. I am really so incredibly grateful for your unconditional love, happiness, and a desire to just keep swimming whenever life felt almost unbearable than it should be.


You have truly made an impact on my life in ways that not even I can thank you enough for and I am eternally grateful to have a friend like you who continued to see the bright side of everything.

I know you are being well taken care of in a better place and teaching all of those who need to hear about the restored gospel of Jesus Christ on the other side. You have left an absolute legacy of unconditional love, happiness and a desire to just keep swimming whenever life feels too be a little more unbearable than it should be. I know you are inspiring those up in Heaven with your contagious smile and teaching them things they need to learn about how to strive harder each day.


I am grateful for your friendship as well as example in my life, more than anything else in this world has to offer. Thank you so much for all that you did to make this world a better place and one I can only hope will do you proud. It's been really hard for all of us to not wish you were still here and not to mention...being the absolute life of the party who never failed to make us laugh till our hearts were tired!! I'm grateful to know that one day, I will get that opportunity of seeing your smiling face again and catching up on life as much as possible. We love and miss you more than you could ever imagine!!! 

As you can see from reading through this, I reached the two year mark from when me and my friend Josh became friends on Facebook. His contagious spirit of optimism is greatly missed in more ways than I could ever possibly describe into words right now... but I know it will live on forever into the eternities. It has been such a difficult time in my life, not wishing there was a way to bring you back here... but I have no doubt our Heavenly Father needed you back in his presence more than anything. I know he needed you to continue serving for those on the other side who want to learn from such a remarkable person like yourself. I am grateful for the opportunity that I will have to hang out with you in Heaven and cannot wait for that big hug of yours too!!!!

Almost There

YESTERDAY AFTERNOON---The second grade teacher whose classroom I volunteer in asked me this very simple question, "How are you?!" Right in that very moment I could have easily admitted how painful it was for me to be just sitting there next to them and yet other thoughts were running inside my head. I quietly told them a response that I'm sure they were not least expecting to hear out of my mouth, and yet there was not much I wanted to say.

"I don't know... I'm hanging in there." It was all I could think of to tell them and yet it was not the happiest response I had ever mentioned to somebody. There was not much of anything else to talk about with them other than my upcoming pageant this March and the talent I'm currently working on with my mom. We never discussed much of anything else related back to my life and how all the volunteering at the school has been for me...But at the same time, I wished something from my own mouth had gotten said out loud to this teacher friend of mine. I have literally wanted to stand up for myself several times throughout the last couple of weeks and never feel like it was the right choice that needs to be made. 

I have literally shed too many tears down my cheeks in order to make the best of this and somehow during various times it has struck a chord with me. I never prepared myself for what an uphill quiet battle this was going to be emotionally difficult and painful like it has turned out to be. I really want more than anything to have the remainder of this school year, just become one of the most rewarding and unforgettable experiences in my life. As much as it hurts to admit this on here, I am not prepared for what the next several months have in store for me and wish that Heavenly Father would make this all fade away in an instant, but that is not how he motivates us to strive harder each day. 

IN THE BEGINNING---I really felt like as thought I am just one more person for them to worry about and have something to keep me occupied. It has been nothing short of remarkable to really understand just how much I am not alone in this experience and despite the many times, I haven't wanted to return back inside of that classroom with how I have felt mistreated or in other words-- getting pushed off to the side in a corner with no idea of why I am even there. 

Conclusion:

Make the best of every single week that you can possible. It's never felt so incredibly harder on me than this year alone and striving to be a little better has only continued making me less of myself.... but obviously, who am I kidding here?!!! It has been such an emotional roller coaster ride for me in ways than nobody deserves to see themselves on, unless you feel inclined to learn something more about yourself and what you are capable of doing well. I really do appreciate all of the assistance I am able to give this teacher friend of mine so much and cannot thank them enough for being sweet, patient with me all year long. I have certainly never expected this to be as much of a struggle like it has turned out to be at times and maybe it is only the way to learn from my mistakes. Despite all of the fact they know it is hard for me... That doesn't necessarily fix how it has made me feel on a very personal level, but we all need to cut ourselves some slack to know we are doing the best we can do for those around us. 

Perfectly Stable

2019 Utah Miss Amazing Pageant (Continuation) 

It's surreal that all of my required paperwork for this event is submitted & cannot wait to spend quality time in making new friendships. For those of you who are reading through this, I haven't imagined myself doing pageantry and let alone knowing their main focus is about advocating for people with disabilities really means a lot to me. I am grateful for the opportunity that I get to do events like this one where my voice is going to be heard and despite how others look at this kinda stuff, well I am gonna try as hard as possible to change their minds. I know this experience will be one to cherish forever and hopefully can have more stories/updates to write on here, when it gets a little bit closer in about two months time!!! 

Night To Shine 2019 - Tim Tebow Foundation

With it being my third prom night event this year, I am really thrilled to have my twin sister and our best friends join us... which I know they will not talking about for the rest of eternity. This one night event is filled with a lot of paparazzi cheering you on a red carpet, photo booths, Karaoke, Everyone crowned a king or queen of the prom, Limo rides, Dinner, etc. I will definitely give it my best chance with updating you all on this event after it gets slightly close to being here, but until then each of you will have to patiently give it a couple more weeks!!! 

Girls Trip To California - February 14th

I am excited to spend quality time with my older sister and her husband, along with my tenth month old niece Skye!! We have not necessarily been down to California for what seems like a long time & quite frankly I would love to see this be a trip to remember!!! We are also planning to make only one day trip to Disneyland and getting to share that magical place with family... will certainly make it an unforgettable experience for sure. 

Beauty Pageant

YESTERDAY---I registered for the 2019 Utah Miss Amazing Pageant and cannot even believe it is going to be an experience that I will cherish forever!!! I am excited for this new opportunity of being able to grow and learn so much from the people who will be involved in making this an unforgettable experience for me. I have never participated or done anything like this before and can only hope for a positive outcome regardless of whatever it ends up turning out to be. I know this is all going to be an extra special time in my life because one of the sweetest friends ever is also gonna be up there along with everybody else. It seems almost unreal to think that somebody like me would ever want to try out for a pageant such as this one for individuals with special needs and trying to make the best of whatever I can possibly do to make an impact on someone's life in some way. 

I've participated in various disability conferences, workshops, classes and other things that have just helped me become the person I am today. It has given me a sense of motivation that I can go outside into this world and try with all of my might to empower somebody in recognizing their fullest potential in life, whatever that may be. I know this is going to open a lot of doors for me to speak up for what I know is very important to me and not trying too hard to be someone that others perceive me to not be able to strive harder for everyday. Having never considered myself to do pageants like this one has only given me a chance to learn new things and step outside the box to make an effort, in the many ways that I can empower others to know they have aspirations, hopes, and dreams like everyone else does in our society. 

This unforgettable event will definitely be the highlight of my year in 2019 and can only hope for the best in whatever the end results turn out like. If I do somehow by unexpected circumstances make it into the National Miss Amazing Pageant later in the year, I would most likely want to continue advocating in ways that can empower others like myself to know they are not alone. We can do hard things in life everyday whether we like it or not, because everyone in this world has those challenges that I have belief tend to get overlooked in more ways than we recognize at times. 

My talent for this pageant will be a swing dance and luckily I will get to have an opportunity of just trying to work hard until the pageant arrives to get it down in my head. I haven't necessarily gotten myself too far into seeing what this pageantry experience would be like for me and hope to perform with the best of my ability to make sure it all turns out right. Everyday before this pageant officially kicks off this year I am determined to make it as positive, uplifting and motivating as possible so I'll end up knowing that I can do things such as this event to get me out of my comfort zone a little more every single time an opportunity shows up on my doorstep. 

Archie Fever

Unforgettable Fan Encounter:

It was probably one of the most unexpected surprises throughout the concert and one that will hold a special spot in my heart. Before he started into the next Christmas song there, He was mentioning all about the merchandise table that we noticed as everyone walked into the building and little did me & my friends know what would happen next!!!


My twin sister lets out this squeal of excitement and let me tell you before we know it...all of us are responding to this with not knowing that David would genuinely respond with a smile on his face as well as saying Yeah to us from the stage!!! 

All of us immediately started to laugh which is something that we all love to do, but this moment was not one we expected at all whatsoever. I am grateful for his sincerity in acknowledging us during that performance and with all of those people wondering what was going on, made it extra memorable for each of us!!!

Free Write

December 10th, 2018 - Winter In The Air (David Archuleta)

I'm so excited for the unforgettable opportunity to watch my favorite singer perform LIVE in concert at the Utah Valley University UCCU Event center!!!! I am thrilled to be able to get back into more of the holiday spirit and remembering what this time of year is really about. I am very grateful more than words could ever say about how much my Savior, Jesus Christ has strengthened and lifted me when I've had difficulties along throughout this year. He has never once left me wondering if I could only hope for the best in just this one situation, but that I can always turn to him at any given moment. I am grateful it is never too late to see the brighter side of anything that happens in our lives and trying to keep that perspective with me at all times. I have really loved listening to David Archuleta's music throughout the last couple of months and remembering to look up, instead of the other way around. I love that he has a very powerful and angelic voice, that carries so amazingly well out into the audiences or crowds that he performs in front of all over the United States. He is truly become one of my most favorite singers out there, because he stays true to what he knows and believes in, spite of what others may think. 

There will definitely be a blog post about this experience later on at some point, but I cannot wait for the memories that we will make together while attending this event. I know that music can inspire us to be a little better and give us a reason to look up whenever life becomes unbearable, in ways that we may not have expected. I know that it can uplift us with the powerful that is behind each of the lyrics in a song and resonating with us on a personal level, is just nothing short of incredible. I know from everything that has happened in my life is never gonna not help me become a stronger person in this world and in spite of how things have turned out, I know there is somebody who has stuck with me through it all. I know that he would never give me anything in life that none of us couldn't handle in during this mortal time here on earth, but at the same time it only continues to remind me that I will never be alone in my times of trials. 

Favorite Songs:

- Christmas Every Day

- My Little Prayer

- Numb

- Shine a Light

- Cracks of Heaven

- Aiming for Hope

Each of these songs have inspired me to only see the best in myself and other people as well. I may never know what it feels like to be in someone else's position, but I do know that everything happens for a specific reason/purpose. I am grateful for the powerful that music can have in your life, when it feels like everything could not possibly get any worse, you have something that can help you escape from all the chaos in this world. If you ever need anything to brighten your day or let alone make you feel a little better about things in life, just listen to one of these songs and I can guarantee that it will bring a peace into your heart that you have never felt before in your life!!! 

Learning Experiences

Background Story:
I usually would give this a couple of more weeks till the end of the month, to share all of this with you guys---but obviously I could not keep it inside any longer. It's been one of the most difficult times in my life this year with everything that has happened and would only hope for the best to just let people know about my experiences. I will post more about this on my Facebook page when it gets closer but here is a preview of what I might or might not share on there with all of you.

As I have gotten to reflect back on this past year in 2018, I've definitely been given my fair share of unexpected twists and turns that I never imagined myself to go through. Like, not ever in my life would I have wanted all of the many things that happened throughout this year in ways like I wanted them to. I've continued to learn a lot of lessons along the way that have put my faith to the test and have just simply reminded me of how incredibly blessed I am.

This year was one of the most emotional roller coasters in my life and at times, I did not know what this year would turn out like to be what it has become. I've experienced unimaginable heartbreak that has left me not ever knowing what the future holds if I'd ever see myself in a relationship with a guy. I have never wanted things to turn out like this whatsoever and have not ever known what was going to happen along the road, has made me feel grateful to understand the importance of counting my blessings. I have absolutely more than anything in this universe have hated not being able to fully understand what this is trying to teach me at this time in my life. It has simply left me with needing to make a difficult choice about who I can trust and others who just will never come to terms with what it means to be a true friend.


I cannot even be someone's friend who made me feel like I was not any much of an example in their life, let alone not knowing if it meant anything to them in trying to be there for them when they needed someone to talk to. I really felt like they made me as though it didn't mean anything to them about how much it hurt me to see them that way. It was extremely hurtful for me to not have been there in more ways than one, whenever it felt like it was too unbearable for them to handle their situation. I also really tried to bear my testimony of how much I truly love this gospel of Jesus Christ on multiple occasions, but immediately just felt like I was continually getting a slap in the face for no apparent reason. 

I've never wanted to feel so emotionally frustrated, riled up and extremely upset in my entire life. I'll admit, during this experience I never wanted things to completely get out of hand like they did & not ever knowing if I can even be around those people who made me feel less of myself than I needed to feel in that very moment. I literally needed to make all of this craziness just immediately come to an end and because I was able to let our staff know... something will be done in the future. I am not gonna tolerate being mistreated/rile up for no reason whatsoever and will not be around people who continue to make feel less of myself in more ways than one. 

One of the most absolute hardest times in my life this year, was experiencing an unexpected loss of a friend whose life was cut too short. My good friend Josh was called back to his heavenly home about two months ago and he was never one who failed to make you feel good about yourself and to see things in a much brighter light. I am grateful for his example of what it means to always look for the best in other people around you and to never be afraid of what your challenges in life could teach you. I know he is never going to be forgotten and continues to always be in our thoughts everyday if not for the rest of eternity on this earth. I am grateful for his positive attitude that he continuously had throughout his mortal journey and inspiring so many people to just simply keep swimming and never let things that you are faced with, get in the way of what it could help you to become. 

Unforgettable Moments:

Becoming an auntie for the first time to the cutest little niece ever!!! It has definitely been quite an incredible transition for me to fully understand just how much fun being an auntie can be. I am so grateful for the unconditional love that I have for my niece, Skye who never fails to put a smile on my face and remind me of how to be a little happier in this world. 

Going to Mexico for a week vacation and spending time away in paradise was just what I needed more than anything in this world!! The weather was incredibly hot everyday and getting to wonder with all of the nature that I was able to see, it gave me a chance to reflect on how blessed I am to be living in such a beautiful world. 

Meeting the one and only David Archuleta who I will admit right now is a lot cuter in person, if you ask me!!! His singing voice just melts your heart and makes you feel so much better about life. I felt incredibly star struck getting to see him walk into that dressing room and squealing with excitement that cannot even be put into words at this very moment. We love you so much David and thank you again for making that special day one that will never be forgotten!!! You are truly one of the most lovable singers out there and always inspire me to look up whenever life gets to be more difficult than it should be. I am grateful for all of the many times that your music has strengthened me to get through the trials that have come up in my life this year. 

Being invited to my favorite blonde's surprise party at their parents house!! Loved every single minute of it than words could ever say!!! Getting to see them in the spotlight is truly something I know that I will never forget. It was literally such an amazing experience for me to be a part of an incredible and special day for someone who does so much for others. They are such an amazing influence not only in my life, but for so many people who would do any thing they could to make their day a little easier. This person has given so much of their time and energy into inspiring others to know that they are a strong person, as well as somebody who is a great example to those around them. I am grateful for the opportunity that I had to see them in the spotlight for once and celebrating them was a moment that I will cherish for many years to come!!! 

Throughout all of these experiences in my life this year, I can honestly tell you right now that it has reminded me of one little lesson: "It's okay...Just keep swimming!" I'm grateful for the message behind this sentence because it clearly goes to show that we need to just keep going forward in life and not ever lose sight of what is most important.