Evaluates

Book Closed (Part One)

I'm legitimately grateful to close this lingered chapter of anxiety and being highly sensitive about every little thing that has ever happened during those lost fourteen months. I know it has taken me forever w/ trying to reach this point in my life and despite having mentioned some heart wrenched stuff towards a person who I know is giving their one hundred and ten percent in all that they do. I have probably been visualized in my head as the most difficult person they have ever worked with and yet I know there isn't any kind of truth to it whatsoever. 

Close To Heart (Life Lessons)

I've taken almost every lesson that someone has tried to help me understand better, has gotten me to where I am today. It has continuously given me a lot of extra time to do self reflection about how I can adjust my own mental health to solve problems in a mature way. I cannot explain all of the many tears that have just rolled themselves down my face with guilt unbearably weighing itself on me, to be a perfectionist with all of the many responsibilities I have on my plate. I may not know as much about certain things in the world of disability awareness as other people do--but I am humbled to be working alongside the best of the best our state has placed in the leadership roles that they have. 

Unanswered Question: (Why would you put that expectation on me???)

This question continues to linger itself in my head and with no possible end in sight-- Why did I even consider to share my personal thoughts on the matter?! I'll try my hardest to keep this brief to not waste your time reading through what I have to say...But you need to understand this has been a long awaited moment for me to feel somewhat at ease with my life. I was immensely caught up in the moments with trying to be as honest as I could be and instead turned into a complete utter mess altogether. I refused to allow the emotions in my heart to not overflow with anxiety themselves and yet there I was not certain about why I was selected for the leadership roles I've been chosen to tackle. I genuinely love what I do with all of the many people who are so remarkable at what they can do in making sure individuals with disabilities have their needs met on a regular basis. It has been stressful to not feel as though I am under so much pressure all the time whenever I participate on a virtual meeting or just trying to ignore what I know is going to help me into the future?!