Background Story: (Years Ago/Forever Changed)
So, Awhile back my dad at some point in his life had a minor heart attack and didn't have the slightest idea of when it had taken place or when their issues had actually occurred but little did I know what it would result in down the road. Over the past six months, My dad was not able to walk very far distances when we would go on Sunday walks with my mom and twin sister and if he tried to really exuberant himself with anything such as mowing the lawn or shoveling snow off the sidewalk that it would just make him feel a little more tired than it usually would, but if you are continuing to read through this-- then you pretty much get the idea here right???? He had originally tried to get himself an appointment with the cardiologist back in the spring of this year, but the one he wanted to get into was not able to get him scheduled for about 9 weeks which at the time just seemed like forever until at some point my dad was able to get some help and figure out what was going on with him. It was seriously one of the hardest things for me to see him experience and not having any kind of an idea with expecting to have this be anything short of an "Easy Fix" and simply thought he could try getting a stent put into his heart but since it was so completely closed off, they were not able to make that happen for him and we needed a plan B to go off from.
If you know where I'm gonna be heading with this story here, please don't be afraid to shed a few tears or more just simply because I couldn't keep them back from me either. Let me continue on with the rest of my experience and trying to keep myself together as much as I can without having tears of my own running down my cheeks but I can't necessarily promise that it won't happen while you read through this blog post.
August 25th, 2017 - Temporary Home????
It was literally a complete turn of events when my mom FINALLY came home from being at the hospital with my dad almost all day long, got me and my siblings together in our family room, to discuss what was going on with my dad... which certainly scared me more than ever because I didn't know how I was going to take this news (let alone trying with all of my might and strength to stay positive and yet the teardrops of worry and fear, confusion and uncertainty came along without realizing just what was going to happen here at this very moment. I was in a state of emotional turmoil with having no question in my head as to why this needed to happen to my dad and not having ever had a clue about it whatsoever literally torn me up inside more than most people would think someone like myself could react to something like this. Shortly after we had everybody together and listen to my mom explain to us what was going on, but it seriously made me feel as though things could not have gone anymore difficult than finding out about my dad needing to have Emergency Quadruple Bypass Open Heart Surgery in order to make sure those issues he'd been experiencing for awhile would be taken care of and everything would be okay after several months/weeks/days ahead. They also mentioned to us that they were going to be taking arteries from his arm, leg and chest in order to heal the problems that were taking place for the last little while, which I will admit was quite a shock to me considering that I never would have expected something like that to happen to my dad, but you get the picture here??
It was definitely one of the most challenging experiences in my life that I never saw coming at this time, but I didn't know what to think or say with having expected tears rolling down my face and keeping it together as much as I could possible regardless of whatever was to come from this. It was extremely tough on me to see my father with being on the patient side of things instead of the administrative which I have known him to be a part for about as long as I can remember...but this was SO different from anything that I had ever known to have happen to him before. It was really emotionally heart wrenching for me to walk inside of that hospital & seeing them in their beds, hooked up to these medical beeping noisy machines and trying to recover from whatever it was they were going through at the time... LITERALLY just got me so worried whether as to know just the adventures that were going to lay ahead for me from this point on. But then again, I could not picture myself just going up to people and telling them about it without having the emotions of sadness, worrisome, completely unknowing the outcome of everything and not quite sure if this would be much like anything that I could see myself handling again in the distant future. To be honest with you about all of this, I literally would not have been able to imagine watching my dad and the cardiologist sitting there in the same room and listening to him tell my dad that if it had been his main artery... they simply just said he would've known that's what it was but he wouldn't have been sitting there with him talking about it- I would be telling you a completely different story here right now.
August 26th, 2017 - Sleepless Night/Long Day
Earlier the next morning all of my siblings and I woke up around 7AM because neither one of us was able to get any sleep without thinking about my dad and just what was going to be happening over the next four and a half hours that he would be in surgery. My mom had woken up around 6AM to drive down to the hospital and wishing my dad luck with his operation, but it was not until I woke up not knowing the exact outcome of just everything that I knew was going to leave all of us wondering what to do next.
Both of my other siblings were not as emotional about all of this for reasons that I would never be able to come up with and yet it struck me the hardest to even begin to fathom of my dad having an operation as big as this one. To me on a personal level, it seriously felt like an eternity before we would know anything more about how things went and keeping us updated on what was going to happen from that point on, but who was counting down the hours and minutes????
Later that morning, Cassidy and I were picked up by our neighbor/family friend to head over to this little Ward Relief Society activity but it was completely if not too obvious that everyone there knew what had been going on and I didn't feel a need to mention anything unless I was asked about it by someone. Both of us had a wonderful time with our neighbors and getting to enjoy some fun activities while all of this was going on and trying to keep myself together was not getting any much easier if you can believe it!!! I also forgot to mention that it was my mom's birthday that weekend when we had originally planned to attend the first BYU home football game and then ending up canceling it altogether because of what my dad needed to have taken care of.. which definitely seemed much more of an importance than just going to a sporting event.
Not to even mention that me and my siblings didn't feel the need or energy to sing Happy Birthday to my mom because we were all so stressed out & worried with the situation that was going on with my dad. I really felt like it could have turned out to be a much happier weekend to remember if this was not how things were supposed to be, but I have to believe that Heavenly Father knew what was going on with us and that everything would be okay in the end regardless of anything else that could have happened. I seriously felt like what could have been just a weekend to remember was a completely different experience than I would have least expected.. but having said that, our wonderful and incredible neighbor/close family friend of ours who was also at the Ward Relief Society activity with us drove me and my twin sister Cassidy to buy a little birthday present for my mom, our entire day would have not been nearly as much fun to say the least.
Sunday Morning/Afternoon (August 27th) - Lots of Nerves/Meltdowns/Family Time
My mom, twin sister and I had originally anticipated that we would only attend our ward's sacrament meeting without going to other classes or anything like that. Once we arrived there and got inside, after having sat in the back so we could leave whenever we needed to for anything-- but it literally made me feel like since I'm in the primary that I needed to stick around for class. Within a few minutes of being there, I went into my primary class where I went on explaining this situation to my kids and trying to keep myself very much together as I could without freaking them out in anyway with this news. It was difficult for me to sit there and not have the slightest bit of an idea that things had continued to be the way they ended up being like. Shortly after that was over, I went out to meet my mom and twin sister to go visit with Dad just because we had not seen him since the surgery which I was kind of scared to see him within less than twenty four hours prior to his operation. He looked really good after having eaten a piece of chicken, broccoli and a roll for lunch before we arrived to go visit him in the cardiac ICU for a short period of time before they moved him into where he was going to be staying for the remainder of this hospital visit. It was still extremely difficult for me to not get emotional looking around at the stuff to keep my dad stable and feeling better literally in that moment pierced my heart in a way that I'd never felt before. I couldn't help myself but feel the overwhelming sense of peace that I knew was going to be there as soon as things would get easier from there.
Late Night Together
It was truly a much needed small getaway for me and my twin sister to spend quality time with our aunt and uncle at their new house. My mom drove us all over there and walked inside with us to visit them for a little bit as well as update them on how things were going with my dad at the hospital. Shortly after that, We got to go on a walk with my aunt and uncle around their beautiful neighborhood and getting to see where their neighbors live, which by the way was really incredible if you ask me!!! It was literally nice to have some time out of our house and not just having much to do other than waiting for time to pass till my mom got back to get us, but it was truly so sweet of them to invite us over and spend a couple of hours together. It doesn't necessarily happen all too often for us just because with every thing else that we have going on in life there is never any time to see family and hangout together as much as we would like to before it's too late, if that makes the least bit of sense at all???? We also got to watch one of our most favorite movies ever Napoleon Dynamite and if you ask me and getting to laugh out loud did not seem like the best thing to do when you are watching a movie with other people in the room, but I don't know if our aunt and uncle enjoyed the film because both of us were so loud!! We also learned a brand new game that we had never played before called Spot It! which is basically like you have up to six cards down or ya know whatever with various pictures of "Lady Bugs, Flowers, Snow Flakes, Apples, Trees, Bugs, etc and well you pretty much get the point here right??? We just simply had to match them up with the same exact thing on the cards and you had to try to get as many as we could before time ran out and it was seriously one of the funnest things ever!!!! I am grateful for extended family members who are not only a part of my life but continue to always reach out whenever we need much of anything at some given moment but I love them so much for having us over to spend a few hours with them.
