Free Write

  Youth Member Guidebook (Mini Edition)

EARLIER TODAY---I sent an email to all of my committee members in regards to an idea that has been on my mind for awhile and wanted to get their input. I legitimately wished there had been a youth member guidebook created for not only me, but future youth members who might consider or think about applying to be on USILC. It would have been nice for me to have something I could refer back to if I needed some answers to questions about what my leadership role is on the council and everything else in between. You get the idea here??? I am really excited to know what other members of my committee think about making this happen as we move along with stuff into the future. I truly love this committee with all of my heart & soul which if you ask me is nothing short of an understatement. It has given me opportunities to learn and grow into the disability leader, self advocate, mentor and friend that I want to be for others across the state of Utah. (Please stay tuned for more updates on this later!!!)

Ninja Presentation Update: (Date Change)

I'm excited to announce that my presentation with a colleague of mine has been set in place and I am not so prepared for this to unfold. I know it will bring back lots of mixed emotions in my heart as I walk back onto a campus where my self advocacy journey began and can only hope for an unforgettable experience that is going to leave a mark on this world. I genuinely hope we can make a good impression and have a very heartfelt review from everybody in hopes to return back for future NINJA conferences!!! :) 

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Untitled Post

Hilary Weeks - Keep Going

It's been an emotional rollercoaster for me to get here and not hide away from what is in my heart. I am grateful for the peace of mind this beautiful song and others have given me, when life was almost a little too unbearable to deal with and relearning lessons on a daily basis. It's obviously not been easy for me to lash out my feelings and not take the time to listen to what is being said... which is something I can make lots of improvements on everyday. I need to keep on going and not pretending to be someone that I'm not meant to be in this world--which sometimes is harder than you would think. I have never felt like this an issue that my heart needs to learn from and understand a little more, that will give me a peace of mind & not worrying about what others think. It has gotten harder for me to see the clearer picture of things here and yet I know is just a little bump in the road, that all of us come across at one time or another. I am so grateful for the opportunities that I have to keep on going and not taking what I do not know as close to heart as I have done way too many times in the past. This mistake of mine is one that I am confident is going to change my perspective on so many things and recognizing why it is so important to not have control over what other people are doing. It has given me a lot of reasons to understand why things in everyday life have to continue happening and keeping my mouth quiet as much as I can possible. I am grateful for the forgiveness that my Savior, Jesus Christ has for me and no matter what mistakes that I have made throughout my lifetime--He's always forgiven and loved me for who I am in his eyes. I love him so much and would not be the person I am today if it not had been for his example. He has allowed me chances to be someone who tries everyday to do better and not affront to what could have happened instead of the other way around.

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Mini Break

When I created this blog of mine six years ago---I only had a legitimate goal to write up 279 posts in honor of my favorite television sitcom, "The Big Bang Theory." However, I have been able to overly succeed the limited amount of posts I wanted to share with you all and it has become such an amazing experience for me. I have loved being able to share what is in my heart and getting my message clearly across to people about who I am without trying to impress or draw attention to myself. It's given me so much more perspective in some way I can make improvements with my writing abilities and with four hundred posts later--not making anymore posts until I am in a much better place.

LONG STORY SHORT---My anxiety has again taken over me in ways that I can only hope is slightly temporary and not an forever ride of mixed emotions. It has been extremely hard for me to pretend like this battle of mine is not a real thing that everybody struggles with and yet I have not kept this hidden off anymore. I am not sure if my heart needs me to do this in order to recognize how much of a stronger young women I am or if I am just simply too lazy to blog about stuff on here. Who knows??? 

I didn't legitimately realize that sharing experiences from "A Dancer's Life" would lead me into making this choice but I am not ready to continue blogging until my mental health is taken care of. I am grateful for my friends---who have stuck with me through an experience that I know is an never ending battle, but one that I know I am not the only person who struggles with this on a daily basis--but my inner thoughts need to recuperate themselves a little bit. (This is not necessarily a permanent decision by any means, but one that I have just really needed for some time now and I could not think of a more perfect time to unwind from blogging for what will only be a short period--not a lengthy one unless it needs be.)

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