Ninja Story

 

Dear USILC,

Back in 2013, I received a piece of paper with a schedule typed up about a Youth Leadership Retreat that was going to be held on the campus of Utah State University in Logan. I didn't know what I was walking myself into having had no experience with leadership in the disability community & did not expect it to be as much as fun it was until after I got there.

I've held various leadership positions before this conference ever happened and immediately was hooked!! I have truly grown and learned so much about becoming the kind of disability leader, self advocate, mentor and friend that I need to be for others. I cannot thank this non profit organization nearly enough for changing my life a little over ten years ago and I've never had any regrets since then.

I am truly grateful for the unconditional love, support, friendships that I have made with this group of people who I have considered to be like a second family. I love every single one of you so much and the impact you have made on my life will always stick with me wherever I go in this world and in the future.

Favorite NINJA Conference Memories:

- Laughing so hard until it hurts and learning lots about how to become a good self advocate, disability leader, and mentor for others in the disability community with my friends!!!

- Being a youth mentor four years in a row and always getting a heartfelt moment to share with everyone who participates with us!! - Staying up late into the evening hours and making the absolute best of every situation that this conference has ever handed to me over the past ten years.

#ItsANinjaThing #NINJALeadership #NinjaForeverAndAlways

Thankfulness

I'm thankful for the unconditional love and support that every person who has put up with me, over these past two years. I may not have deserved any of it after what we have experienced through the unknowns and not having any idea when life is going to return back to normal. I know I have struggled with so many things and I am thankful that I can always turn to you guys for whatever I need to help feeling better. I am thankful for their heartfelt advice they have given me and sometimes if I do not feel like it's not appreciated--I can tell you right now that there is not one single moment in my life when I am not contemplating on what it has done to strengthen me. I am thankful for the many laughs and unforgettable moments that we have shared together, which if you ask me is probably a lot more than one!!! I cannot thank them nearly enough for how they have made sure that I am doing okay and not feeling down all the time, whenever life has felt more unbearable than I would like it to be. 

I am thankful for all of the endless virtual meetings that we get to share and participate on together. It is obviously difficult to not spend time with one another in the same room and yet I know it is going to be something I will greatly miss so much. I am thankful for the discussions that we have to make this world an even better place than it has been over the course of time and recognizing our potential to achieve just about anything we set our minds to. We may have our struggles in life everyday and sometimes wish that things were a little bit easier for us, but I am thankful to know that I am not the only person who feels this way. 

I am thankful for your goodness and the lives you all continue to push through everyday. I know it has not been the happiest for any of us during these past two years and yet I am thankful to have an incredible set of friends who look after each other. I am thankful for your smiles and laughs that we have always shared over the past ten years, which if you ask me is nothing short of an understatement. I am thankful for those unforgettable memories that we have created either online or in person--which I can honestly admit have lifted my spirits whenever I need something to cheer me up. 

I have admitted this one too many times on here, but I am thankful for who you guys are in this world and continue to be for me everyday of my life. I am thankful for the passions you all have to show just about anybody in this world what you are capable of doing and not letting those obstacles stop you with achieving your dreams. I am thankful to call each one of you my friends and being able to feel accepted in a world that I know has made me a stronger person. Thank you so much for all that you have done to make me a better self advocate and disability leader in this world!! Love you all so much more than you could ever possibly know!!! 

Untitled Post

 Anxiously Unprepared (Final Words)

As thrilled as I feel about this next year getting here and COVID being out of the picture, I can't even stop thinking about how sentimental it will be to complete my final months of being on a committee that I just dearly love so much. I am so grateful for the opportunities it has given me to participate in various things within the disability community and inspiring other self advocates to know that they can achieve whatever it is they want to in life. I am so grateful for the unconditional love and patience all of my friends have had with me as I continue to realize what else lies ahead for me, which if you must know will not be a pleasant or easy transition. I have loved getting to share these experiences with my friends who I know are going to move things forward to the best of their abilities, even after my time with them comes to an end. I am truly certain there are going to be tears involved when this day comes and I am not prepared for what it will just simply have planned out for me either. I am not someone who takes any changes that come into their path very easily and I am not ready to leave behind something that has changed my life for the past three and a half years almost. I am not certain there will be any chances of me coming back into a world that I cannot see myself not being in anymore and I cannot pretend like the anxiety will not come with it too. I will try my hardest to keep it together and yet I am not making any promises here, about whether or not someone such as myself will handle this in a mature fashion or just be a teary eyed mess the entire time. I am really unprepared for not knowing what my life has in store for me and hopefully I can maintain with everyone whose life I have been able to touch in some way or another. 

Dear YLC Members, 

"Some people can touch your life for a brief moment, but will leave an imprint for a lifetime."

This quote could not be more perfect as my tender time with our youth leadership committee ends on a very sentimental and bittersweet note. One of my biggest and personal goals was to leave an imprint on the hearts of everyone that I work with on any committee as well as the two councils I am currently just serving on for the next few years. I am certainly not one of those people who loves walking away from something that they know has been such a big part of their life is not going to be a happy moment. I am grateful for these three and a half years that I have gotten to serve with all of my incredible friends who have touched my life more than I can thank them enough times for. I love you all so much & look very much forward to keeping in touch with you all if it at all possible.

Tylee,

I'm not even sure where to begin with this...but I figure once next year rolls around I will not be ready or prepared to leave behind working with someone that I truly want to be like when I grow up. You are such an incredible leader, self advocate, mentor and friend whose imprint on my heart is not going anywhere or let alone to any unknown place. You have been a delight to get to know better as I have served as secretary and chair of a committee that will forever hold a special place in my heart. It has not been an easy path for me to walk down as life has put my faith to the test and knowing I could get through it with you made me realize so many things. I am grateful for your influence in my life as well as in the lives of everyone who has gotten to know you, has been changed for the better. As in the words from the popular hit Broadway Musical WICKED---"Because I knew you, I have been changed for good." I cannot thank you nearly enough times for putting up with me as much as you had to and it was not easy to see teardrops rolling down my face on Zoom calls, having to silent yourself whenever my anxiety was out of control and no way for me to keep calm as much as I wanted to feel, etc. You're definitely someone who I am so grateful to have gotten to work with and associate with in a leadership role that I never imagined myself having ten years ago. I will never forget you and hope we can remain in touch with each other as well as visit over the phone if we ever get the chance!!! Thank you so much for being a third mom to me and will be for the rest of eternity...Yes, You do not have a choice to leave that position any time soon!!! :) 

- Courtney Edgington (Forever YLC Member/Officer) 

Conclusion

USILC,

I genuinely owe it all to you for helping me along on my self advocacy journey throughout these past ten years. I am so grateful to be a part of a council that pushes to make the lives of people with disabilities a reality and reminding us that it's just a different way of living. You will forever have a very special place in my heart and I hope to stick with you guys another ten more years!!! I am grateful for all the many memories that I have been able to make with you and being a youth participant, mentor for the NINJA Conference was nothing short of a dream come true!!! It is where my self advocacy journey ALL started was getting a piece of paper handed to me about a youth leadership retreat that was going to take place on the Utah State University campus and not knowing how much fun it would be, until after I got there. It was the start of a journey that would keep me going in the direction that I need to be in and no matter how much I never wanted to see my time with this retreat end, I knew my life was changed for good. 

It opened up so many doors for me to walk through and make some of the most amazing friendships with people who can relate to what it is like being different. I was able to learn so many things about being in the world of independent living and learning to get myself out there, when I clearly didn't know if I could even make it happen. I absolutely loved spending time away from home for a short period and having that student experience--which if you ask me was more than an incredible opportunity to do things on my own, without my family near. 

I am grateful for the endless support, unconditional love, motivation, encouragement that not only you have given me while serving in this organization-- but allowing me to do my best in anything I'm ever asked to tackle. I have truly given you everything in my heart to this organization throughout my time being a youth member and hope to see another ten more years down the road. I'm grateful for all of the lessons that I have had to learn throughout my time and even though it continues to be a struggle, I am genuinely blessed to have such an amazing group of people behind me to cheer me on and make sure I am never doubting myself. 

Thank you so much USILC for coming into my life a decade ago and pushing me through the hardest of times to reach my leadership goals. I love you so much and cannot wait to see what else the future holds in store for you over the next ten years that lie ahead!!! Thank you so much for being a part of my life-- in a way that I know is going to stick with me forever. 

(End Of Post) 

Special Event

 This past weekend my best friend Camille tied the knot with her husband Sam and I could not be more than excited for her!!! She looked absolutely beautiful in her wedding dress and just radiated throughout the entire day with a big smile on her face. It was such a delight to be a part of her special day and to see her take on this new chapter of her life was nothing short of incredible. 

Here are some highlights from the day: (Nov 6th)

- Arrived at the temple to greet our best friends and smiled till the moment finally came!!! We ended up cheering for the wrong couple that made their wedding exit and then realized it was not Camille and Sam, which if you ask me the guy who stood behind--mentioned to us that it was good practice!! Haha!! All of us were anxiously excited for the bride and groom to come out as they greeted everyone, it was especially fun to give Camille the biggest group hug ever. 

- Attended the wedding luncheon at a local restaurant here in the area and mostly it was filled with smiles, laughs, and just celebrating an occasion that would be remembered forever. The meal was lovely and I can not tell you nearly enough how grateful I was to have been close to home, without having to travel a long distance away. 

- Lots of pictures were taken at the temple and reception venue, which I could not have been more happy about :) We had to wait awhile for everything to get in place and then the reception started, which if you must know it was hard to not know a lot of people who were in attendance (due to the fact-- None of us know anybody from her ward or neighborhood let alone her husband's family.) 

- Danced the night away until it was time to see the bride and groom make their exit, to head off on their honeymoon!!! It was a lovely evening filled with lots of unforgettable moments and I can only hope they have an amazing married life together. 

Minus everything else I could share about this, the entire day was lovely and could not have been any better!!! I am so grateful that me, my twin sister and our two best friends were able to participate in an event that I know will not be forgotten. Wishing the happy couple all the best in this world!!! 

Free Write

 "What life lesson have you learned that you think could help others?"

This question continues to weigh itself on my mind & there is probably not much of anything I could share that would be helpful for someone else, if I am being honest. I have certainly done a fair share of reflection about what I need to do better with handling any situation or just not trying to beat myself up over something that was never intended to hurt me, etc. I am a very highly sensitive person and with all that I have on my plate, it does at times get a little hard to remember how I need to keep my own mental health in check everyday. I've learned to try evaluating what is really going on in any given moment and make sure I am being as careful as I can be, at all costs. 

I'd easily admit that doing much needed self care is what will get you through almost every situation and keeping yourself in control. It does get a little hard with trying to find the balance with how I need to be not only as a person, but someone who knows they make improvements. It will probably not be easy for me at times and yet I am more than willing to put my best self out there, no matter the obstacles that are going to be in my path. 

I've also had to learn in more ways than one, about trying to keep my boundaries with people that I am working with on my governor appointed councils. It has been tough not getting together in person and believe me, I have missed not being able to have a change of scenery and traveling to other places when I'd feel like that is exactly what I need to refocus on myself a little bit more. I have always struggled w/ all of this and not trying to make a complete fool of who I am, when life has had to teach me things I'd never imagine myself having to process (let alone having to understand on a professional level as well as the level of being a self advocate. 

(End Of Part One)