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 Anxiously Unprepared (Final Words)

As thrilled as I feel about this next year getting here and COVID being out of the picture, I can't even stop thinking about how sentimental it will be to complete my final months of being on a committee that I just dearly love so much. I am so grateful for the opportunities it has given me to participate in various things within the disability community and inspiring other self advocates to know that they can achieve whatever it is they want to in life. I am so grateful for the unconditional love and patience all of my friends have had with me as I continue to realize what else lies ahead for me, which if you must know will not be a pleasant or easy transition. I have loved getting to share these experiences with my friends who I know are going to move things forward to the best of their abilities, even after my time with them comes to an end. I am truly certain there are going to be tears involved when this day comes and I am not prepared for what it will just simply have planned out for me either. I am not someone who takes any changes that come into their path very easily and I am not ready to leave behind something that has changed my life for the past three and a half years almost. I am not certain there will be any chances of me coming back into a world that I cannot see myself not being in anymore and I cannot pretend like the anxiety will not come with it too. I will try my hardest to keep it together and yet I am not making any promises here, about whether or not someone such as myself will handle this in a mature fashion or just be a teary eyed mess the entire time. I am really unprepared for not knowing what my life has in store for me and hopefully I can maintain with everyone whose life I have been able to touch in some way or another. 

Dear YLC Members, 

"Some people can touch your life for a brief moment, but will leave an imprint for a lifetime."

This quote could not be more perfect as my tender time with our youth leadership committee ends on a very sentimental and bittersweet note. One of my biggest and personal goals was to leave an imprint on the hearts of everyone that I work with on any committee as well as the two councils I am currently just serving on for the next few years. I am certainly not one of those people who loves walking away from something that they know has been such a big part of their life is not going to be a happy moment. I am grateful for these three and a half years that I have gotten to serve with all of my incredible friends who have touched my life more than I can thank them enough times for. I love you all so much & look very much forward to keeping in touch with you all if it at all possible.

Tylee,

I'm not even sure where to begin with this...but I figure once next year rolls around I will not be ready or prepared to leave behind working with someone that I truly want to be like when I grow up. You are such an incredible leader, self advocate, mentor and friend whose imprint on my heart is not going anywhere or let alone to any unknown place. You have been a delight to get to know better as I have served as secretary and chair of a committee that will forever hold a special place in my heart. It has not been an easy path for me to walk down as life has put my faith to the test and knowing I could get through it with you made me realize so many things. I am grateful for your influence in my life as well as in the lives of everyone who has gotten to know you, has been changed for the better. As in the words from the popular hit Broadway Musical WICKED---"Because I knew you, I have been changed for good." I cannot thank you nearly enough times for putting up with me as much as you had to and it was not easy to see teardrops rolling down my face on Zoom calls, having to silent yourself whenever my anxiety was out of control and no way for me to keep calm as much as I wanted to feel, etc. You're definitely someone who I am so grateful to have gotten to work with and associate with in a leadership role that I never imagined myself having ten years ago. I will never forget you and hope we can remain in touch with each other as well as visit over the phone if we ever get the chance!!! Thank you so much for being a third mom to me and will be for the rest of eternity...Yes, You do not have a choice to leave that position any time soon!!! :) 

- Courtney Edgington (Forever YLC Member/Officer)