Free Write

General Conference Weekend

It's hard to believe that we have another spiritual weekend to look forward to and getting the chance of hearing from our church leaders is such a privilege of mine. I love this gospel so much more than anything else in the world & hoping to get some answers to the questions that I have running inside my head. I know there is nothing else in this world that brings me more happiness, peace, comfort and joy into my life than having the gospel of Jesus Christ in it. I am grateful for the experiences it gives me every once in awhile to focus on what is most important and the knowledge of what my purpose here on this earth is really about. I know it may never get any easier for any of us, but with his help and guidance in our lives we can overcome any challenge that comes in our path. I am truly excited for this opportunity to feel of the love of my Savior and Heavenly Father, as well as being in tune with the spirit of what is most critical at this time in my life.

Best School Year Ever

I cannot even describe into words, what an absolute unforgettable school year it has been for me to help out in two third grade classes and learning from the best kiddos ever!!! I am so grateful for the opportunities it has given me to help kids one on one with so many things & seeing those kiddos cute smiling faces every week is such an absolute delight. They have definitely made this school year into what it is and there is absolutely no doubt in my mind about that. I am thankful for their kindness and the many hugs they continue to give me on a weekly basis, whether or not I feel like I deserve them. I am grateful for the hospitality and patience of both of the teachers who have made me feel such a part of things with their classes. I have also really enjoyed getting to know both of them so much more on a different level than ever before and having volunteered in one of their classrooms last year, I really wanted to make an effort to go out of my way in getting better acquainted with them. It has become such a highlight for me every week getting to see them do what they are so passionate about and the unconditional love they have for their students, is just simply indescribable.

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I am so grateful for this time of year to reflect on the importance of why we celebrate Easter and without it, I am not sure where I would be right now at this time in my life. I know it is because of Him that we can all start over with a clean slate and see the positives in everything. It has definitely been a whirlwind of emotions for me as I've moved on from somebody who was so caught up into their pride, that I didn't need them to be a part of this journey. I am grateful for the lessons that this experience taught me personally about how to overlook past those issues and recognize the Lord's hand is always in the details of our lives, regardless of whatever we are faced with. I would never want to return back to that time when nothing seemed more important to me, than just about what having true friends is really like and not taking that an advantage of it.

I am grateful for the many open doors that this struggle opened up for me and making new friendships with people, who I'd easily would have gotten to know at some point in time but never pictured it being like this. I love everyone who has helped me become the person I am today and learning to remain strong in those hardships is the only way to move forward. 

I know that my Savior, Jesus Christ went through it all that we could be here on this earth and being tested to see how well we could handle any situations that we face. I know it is through Him that we can make it through anything that comes our way & recognizing his unconditional love for me is just indescribable...but you pretty much get the whole picture here??? 

Events of 2018:

- Continuing to advocate on behalf of those like myself and empowering them to be the best people they can be in this world. Never letting them forget about their potential in wanting to change this world, so that we can all be treated with respect & understanding. 

- Awaiting the new arrival of my niece Skye who will probably be here some time next week and just really hope for a good, smooth transition into this world. It is certainly not been an easy thing for me to deal with and keep focus on the blessings that are coming into my life, because of this experience.. with having unconditional love for somebody else. 

New Role

It's hard to imagine myself becoming an auntie in less than a couple of days, let alone a week away if you can believe that!!! I truly cannot explain into words, what it will feel like being in the presence of someone who is going to change my life for the better and seeing my little niece Skye in person, will be a very surreal moment for me!!! I am grateful for this opportunity to expand my heart for a brand new little girl who is going to make my life so full of bliss and craziness wrapped into one!! I don't know anything much with becoming an auntie, but knowing my heart will completely heart over an amazing niece is totally so difficult to put into words. I cannot wait to see my older sister become a mom to this sweet niece of mine is going to be a very exciting and heart warming experience more than anything else in this world. I am not exactly sure how incredibly amazing of an auntie, that I'll actually be once she gets here-- but at the same time I know it will be so much fun to watch this girl grow up and become an incredible young woman someday. She is going to be so well loved by a lot of people and completely spoiled rotten which most people know, that all nieces/nephews are gonna be treated in that way all the time. It's certainly not going to be an easy transition to get used to, but with everybody telling me over and over that I will be the best aunt for this little girl has helped me so much. 

My niece Skye could either arrive sometime this week or next regardless of whatever ends up happening between now and then. I am hoping for a very good outcome in making sure she is perfectly healthy and strong once she makes her debut into this world. I'm excited for the many laughs and excitement she will bring into our lives once she comes here at some point. I am not particularly certain that I will be perfect in this new role of being an auntie, but I will give it my absolute best possible shot to love her unconditionally. 

Dilemma

My first choice in this situation that I'm about to share with you, would easily be the opportunity of getting to attend the NINJA Youth Leadership Conference in Logan, Utah. I have been a part of that conference for the last couple of years and it has literally changed my life, in such a way that I can't even begin to describe into words right now. It has encouraged and motivated me to be the person and leader that I want to be in this world more than anything else. I have loved getting to be a part of this extraordinary conference for awhile and getting to learn from the best people ever!!!


I really have the biggest decision of my life this week, with deciding on whether or not I will be attending this National Self Advocacy Conference held in the state of Birmingham, Alabama for two days straight. I would be participating in an event on this national level which basically means that I'd be attending classes with 300 self advocates all across the United States and continuing to learn more about being a better leader/self advocate in my own community. Everything would all be paid for including meals, the hotel and everything else you can possibly think of for something like this one, but having said that--It certainly has left me thinking if that would end up being the right decision for me to make or giving this new opportunity a chance to see if I'd like it or not this summer. I would certainly rather stick close to being a Youth Mentor at the NINJA Conference instead simply because of the fact, that it is not such a larger scale with meeting a lot of youth from across the country and taking classes with them. I have a very difficult decision that needs to made before the end of this week and honestly when it comes down to it all, I would rather not feel a need to attend the National Self Advocacy Conference because there is not too much of any thing that I would find myself missing out on. 

What should I end up choosing to do??? 

More about my final decision with whatever I decide up choosing to do & looking at it with a bright smile on my face, knowing that I did what was best for me. I cannot necessarily admit right now that I have a decision made at this point, other than hoping for the most awesome experience of my summer and looking forward to what it will help me become. 

Current Updates

New Presentation: Internet Safety

I am so thrilled about having the opportunity to share my advice & perspective on what it means to be safe on the Internet everyday. It is very important to know the steps and precautions you need to take in order to recognize the dangers of being online, wherever you are in this world of ours. I am really looking forward to sharing my expertise with those who will be in attendance and making sure our message is clearly presented. Our presentation will be held in Clearfield, Utah at some facility that's called "Intersect Services" and not exactly sure what to expect from it other than just we will need to be there probably as close to 4 in the afternoon as possible. We have a practice run through next week at my house and for the next hour or so, I will be able to make sure that I take my pauses when I need to take them throughout my speech, talk clearly and slowly without going too fast, etc. I am definitely hoping for the best and positive experiences ever, as well as being professional in what it is we have prepared to let people know about. 

This beautiful and profound quote that I was able to find over on the Internet, just really hit me in a way that I never would have least expected. I am definitely not quite in the place right now to be in this relationship with a guy yet and can only hope for the best in what is to come next. I would love more than anything to see myself in the Temple with the guy who was meant to be in my life and I can't even begin to think of what our journey together would be like, down the road or even years from now?? I would really want to make sure when the timing is right for me to be in that chapter with my life and seeing us together making a promise to be true to each other, means everything to me if not more than I can even imagine. I know there is so much left that my Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ need me to do on this earth-- but making sure I find the person who is gentle, passionate about the things he does, watches out for me, keeps me grounded in the gospel, etc. I'm grateful for the opportunity that I will have one day to do that and cannot wait for it to be here!!! It definitely seems a little bit strange to bring this up now and not have much more details to share on this... but for me I cannot just immediately think the first person I see will be the one for me. I want to make sure this person is the right one and somebody who loves the gospel more than anything in the world. 

Volunteering Experiences

What an unforgettable school year it has turned out to become... I have absolutely loved & enjoyed the moments that I've shared with so many amazing people throughout this experience. I definitely liked getting much better acquainted with both if not one of the teachers, whose influence & Christ like example to me all year long motivated me to be the best person I could become. I am grateful beyond words for the many tasks and jobs that I was able to accomplish this year, more than I can even begin to put into words right now at this moment. I am grateful for the blessings that I've seen come from volunteering in such a wonderful place and feeling the love of my Savior, Jesus Christ through it all has been indescribable. I have continued to learn so much every week and being with those kiddos has completely impacted me more than I ever would have imagined it to be. I was not certain at one time or other in my life, that I would learn to find myself loving those third graders unconditionally. They have made this experience for me into what it is and giving me hugs every single week was such a JOY for me... but you pretty much get the idea of what is being said here, right??? 

Testimony

I used to post spiritual quotes like this on my Instagram page and loved feeling the spirit of my Heavenly Father on a consistent basis. It truly gave me the extra boost of confidence that I really needed so much throughout the week. It was a few years ago that I found myself not posting too much of these things anymore and it almost seriously just made me miss being able to share with other people what is most important to me. 

I really loved sharing my testimony of the gospel here on my various social media accounts and being reminded of the simple things, that we shouldn't ever find ourselves taking for granted. It's been such a difficult thing for me to get back into sharing things like this again; because I am currently going through a hard situation in my life right now and felt as thought I needed to share my testimony of what means so much to me. 

My Testimony:

I know without a shadow of a doubt that this gospel of Jesus Christ is true and I am so grateful for the peace, happiness it continues to give me. I know there is no way I would rather live in this world than to have what brings me joy everyday and will continue to do throughout my life on this earth. I know my Savior, Jesus Christ lives and went through some of the most unfathomable things that I couldn't even begin to imagine, but yet I am so grateful that he did it for me and all of us. I love this gospel more than anything in this world and will continue to do as much as possible to make an impact on those around me!! 

I know there are so many things in this world that I wish could disappear and not be a part of it anymore, but at the same time-- I am truly grateful for everything that my Heavenly Father has continued to teach me throughout my life. It has continuously given me an opportunity to keep moving forward with faith in my Savior, Jesus Christ to never give up and trust in his timing w/ everything that happens along this journey of life.

It may not be perfect or easy for any of us... but I can honestly tell you that this experience alone will only teach me new lessons everyday and I know it will only be a part of my life forever. It's going to be a long and tough road from here, but with the guidance from the one who has already faced more than I could ever begin to fathom...I know that he is always there. I am grateful for the people who continue to stick with me through the thick and thin, regardless of whatever it is they may be facing especially in their own lives to uplift my spirits whenever I needed that at any moment.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

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2014 NINJA Youth Leadership Conference (Flash Back)

Throughout my teenage years and let alone growing up, I never considered myself to think that one day a boy would come into my life & change everything for me. I have never not just wanted to think about the positive things that would be fun to think about, when it comes to being in a relationship with somebody else. It definitely turns your life around whenever this thought comes into your mind, about having someone else to share your experiences with & not trying too hard to rush into something that you are not ready for. I know for me this ALL started back about FIVE YEARS AGO when I was a second year youth participant in what I know to be the most amazingly legitimate disability conference called NINJA. I loved getting to learn the important aspects of leadership, self advocacy, goal setting and brain storming... etc. I really enjoyed making so many new friendships with people that continue to change so much in this world for the better. 

After we had finished up our all day activities on the Utah State Ropes Course, (which by the way, if you have done it yet... it is seriously such a thrilling experience for me and something that you will always remember, in spite of how much you enjoy the activities you get to be a part of. One of the youth participants from the independent living center in Logan came back with us to have dinner at the main quad area of campus and since their center vehicle at the time had lots of people in it, we apparently were able to have some extra room and let them join us- but hey... It was the least we could do in the moment. While we were driving all the way back to campus, I literally found myself blushing pretty hard for the boy that we had taken with us in our vehicle and my best friend immediately noticed how BIG of a crush I had on this guy!!! I seriously thought he was the cutest and most handsome guy there at the conference, but at the same time I didn't want to get my hopes up about it either because he had indicated to me that he was already taken and just easily assumed he had a girlfriend, so I really just kind of forgot about it until a year later.

At the same time, I had talked with my friends over on Facebook Messenger about the fact that being in a long distance relationship was difficult and that we'd only see each other once or twice a year at the most, if we got lucky to spend quality time together. It was definitely no easy task to not see one another all the time as much as we'd like to and if we did want to see each other, it required other people to drive us. We were able during our relationship to go on three dates between the months of December 2016 till about last year in March of 2017. I really enjoyed getting to be with him and see what one of his many interests were in life, but at the same time I also wanted to take things as slow as I possibly could. We definitely had a lot of fun times together and pretty much laughing till we couldn't even think about giggling anymore...but you get the idea here??

On our last date which was a year ago this month, I immediately got this feeling inside of my gut that I did not want to continue dating him anymore because something didn't feel good about it for some necessary reasons that I cannot think of. I know for certain what is that I'd really want in a guy and making sure he has a good, unconditionally loving and strong in the LDS faith with everything else in between. I felt like there was something I needed to do and that was simply to just break off the relationship completely but still remain close friends as much as possible. We only dated each other for a year and a half which was quite a long time if you think about it, because as much as fun it was for me to spend time with him... I just did not feel ready for this next phase of my life.

LONG STORY SHORT...

We ended up just becoming friends and continue to be that way for now, because I would never think of myself not wanting to be in a serious relationship unless it felt right all the way through. It was just incredibly tough for me to face something like that and not know how to handle it in a way, that didn't come across being of anything to share with people. The both of us are hoping to get selected as those Youth Mentors/Counselors/Staff at this summer's NINJA Youth Leadership Conference and if we are meant to be, then love will keep us together... but having said that, I am not sure if that will happen or not at this point in time. More about this later on and hope for a good outcome, with updates to look forward to along the way!!!