New Change

CIL Advocacy Training (Out Of The Picture)

I have legitimately made the decision to miss out on this specific training and only attend the event that will take place afterwards. It was extremely painful for me to sit down in a room and not have any slight feelings of anxiety take control (which if you know what occurred this last year, I will not continue going forward with the details here.)

LONG STORY SHORT---I am grateful for how this last year has changed me into the person I need to be for a vulnerable population that has such a special place in my heart. I will be legitimately honest with you here, that even seeing myself where I am now earlier this year was one of those wake up calls that I hope never reoccurs as we begin into another new year. I definitely felt the love of my Savior, Jesus Christ on a fairly regular basis and knowing he will be taking care of the rest for me has been an absolute blessing in my life. He has comforted me when I needed it most and have completely put my trust in him to walk with me every step of the way on this journey, which is not an understatement. I am grateful for the peace of mind he has given me as I continue in other areas of the disability community that I know will be the biggest leap of faith ever, but is what I need to maintain healthier relationships with people.

Virtual Legislative Sessions (One Picked Out)

I am most definitely going to participate in one of the sessions that my governor appointed entity will be doing and cannot wait to learn from them about the advocacy process. It is intimidating for me to not feel the slightest bit awkward when trying to learn the hard stuff about how crucial it is to get my voice heard in regards to issues that the disability community faces. I am obviously hesitate about joining on my other council's legislative session with not only knowing what to expect but also feeling anxiously nervous the entire time. It is difficult for me to not wish things like this didn't make me so scared when it comes to advocating for people with disabilities in our state. 

(To Be Continued)

Free Write

TETONS Training (Mini Synopsis) 

There was a lot of careful consideration that went into this and can only hope it will be an experience that motivates me to better understand the importance of healthy relationships. It has definitely been something nobody likes having to relearn over and over again, but it is certainly going to make an impact on my life without making me feel too uncomfortable. I am grateful for a chance to stretch out of my comfort zone & learn some of the tough stuff that is so crucially important to the disability population. I am not going into lots of details about this here and look forward to spending quality time with my colleagues, who are only going to make it an experience that I hope to never soon forget. 

Christmas Party 2023

None of the details have been worked out yet-- but I am confident we will have the best time hanging out with our friends. My mom and I have discussed about possibly meeting up with our friends for lunch and then coming back to our house to play games or watch a holiday movie!!! We are definitely going to share lots of laughs with each other and get ready for the Christmas season to arrive, which I know will be here- before we know it :) 

NINJA Alumni Game Night (Virtual Activity)

I legitimately thought these had come to an end after not having held one for some time, which if you ask me is not an understatement. I have genuinely missed being with my friends so much & especially after what I have experienced in the last year, I am more than ready or at least hope to be for a splendid evening of fun!!! I know it will be an experience to remember and crossing my fingers that anxiety will not get in the way of things for me.

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 May 2023 

I became an auntie for the third time and could not have been more excited!! I genuinely loved seeing the thrills from my niece and nephew who were ecstatic about having a new sibling in their home. I am truly grateful to spoil another little rascal that has brought so much joy into our lives--even before they arrived in this world!! 

April 2023

I was especially thrilled about our upcoming vacation to Texas and getting a chance to visit family who we have not seen in what has felt like forever!!! We explored the well famous Sea World park where we got to see shows of the water animals there and literally got thousands of steps in throughout the day. We took an incredible visit to downtown San Antonio and went on the super fun boat ride that takes you to locations-- on the river-walk trail. One of my favorite parts on this specific trip was visiting my cousins' home which is also a farm and loved every single minute of it so much!!! I really loved playing with my cousin's kids and enjoying their endless amounts of energy was nothing short of an understatement. We played a lot of fun games together outside and laughed till our hearts were tired--which I must say never quit at any given moment. 

November 2023

This month has certainly opened up new doors for me as I look forward to continue serving as the chair of a brand new committee that one of my governor appointed entities put together. I definitely have so much to learn along the way as I navigate my new leadership role in a position that will only make me grow so much more as a person in the disability community. I also had an opportunity to be asked out on two fun dates with a colleague of mine to attend their Institute class and participate in the "Lighting Of Riverwoods" festival last weekend--which I will admit was a lot more fun having never gone to an event like that before!!! 

This weekend I get an unforgettable opportunity to participate in the Orem temple open house that so many members of our stake will participate in. I am excited for another chance to be in such a quiet--- peaceful and holy place while ushering people who walk through in the right direction. I cannot wait to see the many smiles on people's faces as they enter into the house of the lord and getting that spiritually uplifting reminder of who we are in the eyes of our Savior, Jesus Christ. 

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Date Night

 LAST FRIDAY---One of my colleagues picked me up along with their good friend to attend the lighting festival at the Riverwoods. I was excited to have a kickstart into the holiday season and spending quality time with friends who made it an experience I will cherish forever. We arrived at the Riverwoods LONG before the lights were going to come on and luckily we were able to participate in the miniature countdown from ten till we got to the end!! Did I forget to mention the Truman brothers performed?? I am not at all familiar with their music whatsoever, but it was delightful to listen to them sing about the holiday season and reminding all of us what it really centers around. My colleague ended up getting asked to get some footage for them while they were performing--which I am positively certain was top notch!!! We had a lot of fun dancing to the music, laughing till our hearts were tired, had a very warm and scrumptious meal at Waffle Love to end our fun night together. I definitely have wanted to hang out with this colleague of mine for awhile, but the timing was never right for me or I would have some commitment unexpectedly come up out of the blue. Overall, it was the best night ever and one that hopefully can take place again in the distant future if we're lucky!!! :) Did I forget to mention that we also got our picture taken with the Truman brothers after they performed for everybody?? 

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Promoted

 Unofficial News: (New Leadership Role)

LAST NIGHT--- I received an email from one of my colleagues about a new leadership opportunity that I never had before with this governor appointed entity. I obviously could not pass up this chance to grow so much more as a self advocate and become a good board member. It has definitely been a long time when I last served in a Chair person role within the disability community and look forward to what else this new experience has in store, which I know is only going to help me further into where I'd like to be once all of my years of service conclude. I was able to run my first meeting today with the committee I signed up to serve on, which if you ask me went over pretty good as far as being in my new role since gotten asked 24 hours ago!!! 

Adaptive Needs Institute Class (Last Night)

One of my colleagues who I serve with on the speakers network invited me to participate in their institute class and I obviously took them up on the chance. It was so much fun to meet all of their classmates and learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ together for an hour. It certainly did not go without laughs or heartfelt thoughts being shared in regards to the lesson, which if you ask me was not anything of an understatement. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to spend quality time with friends and have a little extra boost of discussing what holds such a dear place in my heart.

Free Write

BYU Men's Basketball (Exhibition Game)

Our good neighbors invited me and my twin sister to attend the first BYU Men's basketball game of their season tomorrow night. I am excited for us to cheer on our favorite team to victory along with all the other energetic BYU fans who will be there in attendance. I genuinely have no doubt we will have the best time ever and not get home too late in the evening hours!! I have never attended an exhibition game before and so I definitely think we will be in for a treat this time!!! I look forward to watching how this game will end up and hope it is an experience that no one will ever forget. #GoCougs.

Other Updates:

Happy Halloween!!! I hope everyone is able to have a safe and fun Halloween. I didn't know what to dress up like for this year and then decided to be Wednesday Addams!! It was so much fun to be someone other than myself a couple of times and enjoy being with my friends. Our independent living center hosted their own Halloween party last week and it was so much fun getting into the Halloween spirit with everyone in attendance with us. 

We also celebrated our best friend's birthday last week and got to make homemade pizzas, drink some yummy apple cider, eat scrumptious cupcakes for dessert, etc. We definitely made an effort to not stay up too late into the night hours and ended up coming home after 11pm. It was a lot of fun laughing w/ each other and making memories that we will cherish forever, which if you ask me is nothing short of an understatement!!! We also skimmed thru Camille's scrapbook of memories with her family and

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Late Night

NEXT THURSDAY----My twin sister and I along with our best friends will be meeting up at Camille's home for a little birthday together!!! We are going to make mini homemade pizzas with various toppings and playing games or whatever else we decide to do with our time. I cannot wait for all of us to spend the night together and make some new memories that will last forever--which if you ask me is nothing short of an understatement. I will make sure to write up a mini update on this if I ever get myself around to it- but I cannot genuinely make any promises!! 

Happy Birthday Camille!!! I am so grateful for your friendship in my life and the unconditional amounts of energy you share with everyone is amazing. It has been so much fun getting to know what an awesome, fun loving, true, loyal and wonderful person you are and continue to be in the lives of so many people who know you!! Thank you so much for being who you are and making this world a better place!!! 

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Other Update:

This year in 2023 has given me a fair share of lessons to take close to heart and not worry about things I have no legitimate control over. It has reminded me about who I want to be and continuing to set a good example for others within the disability community to look up to. I have grown closer to my Savior, Jesus Christ as I have felt of his love for me and knowing that everything will be okay...regardless of whatever mistakes I have ever made. I am so grateful for my testimony of this gospel and knowing that I can always turn to the one who overcame everything for us, so that we could be here. He's recognized the faith I have to trust him in every situation that life throws me and not ever losing sight of what I can do better as one of his disciples. 

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New Presentation (Disability 101)

One of my colleagues reached out to me earlier this week about co-presenting with them on a topic that I have never educated people on before. I have presented with this colleague several times throughout my years of being on the speakers network and quickly responded with a YES!!! I am grateful for the chance to present with this colleague of mine and learn along the way, about how we can make our population an more inclusive for all people with disabilities.

Internet Safety Presentation (Early November)

LONG STORY SHORT--- This was the first presentation I ever did as the newbie on the speakers network and ended up talking a little too fast. Did I forget to mention the slides were out of order?? It was certainly awkward for me to not feel out of place or wish this could have been an easier topic to educate others on how important it is to protect yourself online. I can only hope for a good outcome and that everyone who will be in that classroom are inspired to help others do the same. This presentation is not taking place for a couple of weeks and yet I'm excited to refresh my brain on the importance with being self online as well as keeping yourself protected at all costs. I look forward to educating the students who will be in attendance at the school me and my colleague are going to present at. We'll have a lot of material to cover in short period of time, but I am definitely up for the challenge to do what I can to make this an educational training--none of those students will soon forget.

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Super Fan

LONG STORY SHORT---I legitimately feel bad for not having attended more of the BYUWBB games last year had I known how stellar their basketball season was going to be. My family enjoyed following their journey for what felt like a short period of time, but it was incredible to watch them play tough and give every single basketball game, everything they had in order to be successful. After their legit season came in my mind, which was a very heartfelt end last year... it was hard for me to not wish they could have gone further into the NCAA tournament and brought that trophy home. I genuinely wished also that I paid more attention to what was going on and not purposefully missing out on what I saw was an unforgettable season for all of those lady cougars. I will admit that in my heart all of those ladies went all the way and made it an experience that none of us cougar fans would ever soon forget. I have been incredibly grateful to have been able follow a couple of the former players on their social media accounts and learn a little more about each of them. One of the main players whose name I will not mention in this blog post right now has one of the best YTC (YouTube Channel)'s ever and you could easily say that I have become obsessed with their content. I was a little hesitant to subscribe to this only because I didn't want to make it awkward for them having some random girl following their basketball journey without feeling like it was appropriate. I have been immensely grateful for their goodness and example of what it means to be a leader and person in this world more than anything. I genuinely have to say they have inspired me to always be a little happier than I was before, which if you ask me is not an understatement or even close to that. It has been an absolute dream come true to kind of get to know this remarkable BYU D1 athlete and their spunkiness never fails to put a smile on my face, whenever I need it at any given moment. Whether they know it or not---I could not be more grateful for what they do to make our world a better place. I may never know when my opportunity of meeting them in person will happen, but it will be the best day of my life and getting to let them know how much I want to have the energy they have when I grow up, I am certain would either make them laugh really hard or just smile really big. (Stay tuned for more!!)

Free Write

 ALPS Presentation (September 23rd)

I'm excited for the opportunity to present once again to this group of people, who are going to learn so much in a very short period of time. I have never actually participated in this training, due to the fact I have a little too much going on and don't want my brain to be fried. I cannot wait to do this presentation with one of my colleagues that happily agreed to help me out and look forward to bringing awareness to the very important topic of who individuals with disabilities are. 

Speakers Network Training (Fall 2023)

Until I receive more details about this, I am genuinely thrilled to have an opportunity to refresh my brain on the presentations that my speakers network does and needs a little more focus on. I could not be more ready for this chance to learn some new things and maintain a perspective of what it means to be an even better self advocate, speaker, etc. I am especially grateful to have friends that are passionate about getting that message of hope into our communities and doing all we can to make an impact on this society. I can't wait to tell you more about this training and hopefully share a lot of unforgettable moments from it as this winds closer. 

USILC Icebreaker Questioner?? (Unofficial News)

LONG STORY SHORT---I ended up being randomly selected to ask these "GTKU" questions for our council meetings and can only hope to make a good impression. I am obviously in for a treat which if you ask me is nothing short of an understatement and can hardly wait to see what creative answers all of our council members will come up with. I obviously have no idea why this mini tradition ended up being pushed aside without notice, but I am more than prepared to do whatever it takes to make sure this never dies itself out. 

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Waiting Place

"Little by little, He frees me. Moment by moment, releasing, my grip, my stubborn need to be in control, of everything. Over and over, He leads me, back to the one place that carries--- the grace that was waiting all along, waiting in, in the waiting place." - Hilary Weeks

SIX MONTHS LATER---I continue to find myself being stuck in the waiting place and not an obvious way to escape if I wanted to make the effort to do so. I legitimately made a mistake that no one in their lifetime should ever have to encounter or let alone deal with in a way that has at times felt next to impossible in more ways than I can comprehend. I did realize for the first time in months that I was not getting out of this spot any time soon and knowing what my new reality is must have been a lot harder for me to clearly see than it was for the colleague who purposefully allowed me to wake up shaken in the middle of the night. I may never understand in a million years why this had to happen to me and not feeling like it was completely planned to get me to where I am today. 


As a self advocate in the disability community, I have been told from people that all of the big things I have done make a difference for those around me and I am eternally grateful to know that is what I have achieved in my ten plus years in this environment. I have continuously sat in my waiting place anxiously hoping that my punishment will be over with soon and yet I know the rest of eternity this will be my life until I show up in the next life. I would never consider myself being a perfect colleague and feeling slightly out of place with all that I applied to participate in. I legitimately hate waiting every day for six months or if not longer to reconnect with someone that I wanted to be like when I grew up. Now that is not the case as I have made the effort with relearning from this experience and I am not the least bit proud of what happened in moments with uncertainty being a free for all on the table. I am never gonna be the perfect colleague who serves their whole heart with---knowing they have given it their best despite what took place six months earlier. At this very moment, I didn't want to necessarily feel obligated or numb to write this up today and yet here I am hoping that one person takes the time to read through my post. It has been a difficult journey filled with tears being shed, confusion about what could happen next in my life and not having any idea of how much it would affect me on a deeper level. I have struggled with maintaining healthy relationships with people who all they want to do is help me and I emotionally pushed them away because I knew a lot better than they did at the time. I'm also nervous about if my service on the council has been worthwhile and giving me a chance to grow into who I can be so much rather than who I could not ever become. 

The seconds pass relentlessly on as things in my life continue being stuck where they are and somehow that is a punishment I legitimately deserved to have. I am not writing up about this here to repeat every little trial that has ever taken place in my life, but to understand better who I never want to find myself being in all over again. It has never been easy for me to deeply take in what someone tells me in a very direct way and not realizing how much of a mark it left behind. I am doing all in my power to regain a trust from a colleague who may never for the rest of their life speak to me again, which as much as I'm significantly hurt by their words--I am not going to let it overtake who I am as a person. My deepened stubborn grip on controlling every aspect of my colleagues leadership role was painful and not exactly how a board member should behave. 

As you can imagine, this twisted turn in my life has been nothing short of an easy mistake to learn from and yet there are only more doors waiting to be opened up for me. I may never understand in a million years why I purposefully saw myself in a position that could have been avoided at all costs & not ever knowing what could happen down the road. I have grown so much more than I could have anticipated myself to during this time in life when I felt as if I was handling this on my own. My heavenly father knows how painfully difficult this journey has been for me and yet I am grateful for knowing he hasn't ever left my side for a second has been a dream. He has strengthened me through prayers that I've had to offer at night time and feeling his unconditional love every step of the way has given me a lot more hope than I could have asked for. 

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YSA Concert (Mini Summary)

EARLIER THIS MONTH---My twin sister and I along with our best friend Danielle attended this event that was originally going to take place at BYU Stadium, but ended up getting switched over to the Delta Center in Salt Lake. I wasn't necessarily familiar with a lot of the songs that were performed by the head line singers, but one of them was a well known primary song. I was deeply touched with being reminded of how to be like my Savior, Jesus Christ and feeling the spirit in that arena is an experience I will cherish forever. I am not sure if this singer is a member of our faith, but it was so beautiful to hear him sing about trying to be like Jesus and being together with him. 

Book Worm (Summer 2023)

I have done quite a bit of reading this summer, which if you ask me has been such an enjoyable thing for me in handling my mental health a lot better. I have learned so many things about myself from all of the many books that I have taken time out of my day to read. I have liked getting to visualize places that are very picturesque in every way and learning what goes on in those made up kingdoms. Each of them have different ways of ruling their countries and keeping where they live as protected from danger as they can, unless something out of the ordinary happens. I am currently reading book number 13 which I am most of the way through it--which I hope to have finished by the end of this week. 

Belated Updates

Idaho Family Reunion (Last Weekend)

Minus the treacherous time it took to arrive in Idaho, I am grateful for the chance to have reconnected with relatives and make some new memories together. We spent quality time at the family cabin while having a scrumptious lunch and having a short program, about our missionaries who are currently out serving in the lord, etc. I especially loved getting to visit where my grandparents are buried and seeing their beautiful headstone again was incredible. I greatly miss being around them more than anything in this world, but I know they are in a better place and watching over us from the other side. It was really great to hear some heartwarming stories about them, made the reunion even more special. 

YA Fairytale Retellings

I have especially loved getting to be sucked into the world of fantasy and learn more about individuals with disabilities being represented in literature. This summer has given me extra time to do a lot more reading than I have ever done and I am genuinely loving every minute of it so much. I am certain what one of the many fairytale retelling books I will read next and cannot wait to get started on it--sometime soon!!! I look forward to reading more about what other adventures and experiences my friends will be doing or simply learning along the way in the next book. 

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Mini Synopsis

In this disability inclusive retelling of Snow White, it was a very clear reminder of what it means to treat others with respect and integrity regardless if you are uniquely different than most people. There is a kid who has a severe intellectual disability and has to be taught how to maintain boundaries with people they associate with or want to get to know better. I know for me it was really hard not to feel the slightest bit sorry for making one mistake after the next and hoping it would all just be erased. However, I know that my experiences with this haven't necessarily been perceived as normal--but recognizing that I have a lot more potential to do hard things whenever asked. I may never be poisoned by eating an apple somebody brings over to my home, but sometimes throughout my life-- I have felt at one time or another this way with not knowing what I could have done better than what I did in that moment. I am never gonna not learn from my mistakes without feeling a little bit in this way and even if I may take it hard in the very beginning-- I know everything will be okay. 

The young man named Oliver in this story touched my heart through his unconditional love that he just simply wanted to give away to others and being reminded of what is appropriate along with what is not, which if you ask me is a different story for a later time!!! It certainly gave me a small glimpse into what happened with me earlier this year and not having been as careful with others as I should have been, but without going into details here--I know there is a lot more for me to still learn. 

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Poisoned

 

After this lovely princess flees for her life and waking from a deep slumber, Snow White finds herself as a suspect in her stepmothers murder and discovers that the prince she is engaged to isn't as charming as she once thought. She begins to seek solace in an unlikely place--in the cottage where she was poisoned. 

I absolutely love the depth this book goes into about disability inclusion & bringing awareness to people with severe IDD in such a vulnerable population. I am grateful for Snow White being able to stick it out while she endures through unknown circumstances that she has never experienced through out her life. I cannot imagine what she must be going through with deciding if she wants to be the next queen in her kingdom or just remain a servant. LONG STORY SHORT----I have enjoyed seeing a very unique relationship between a young man who is slightly different than most-- just sharing his love with so many people as freely as he does. He clearly loves Snow White for the person she is instead of being perceived as someone that doesn't want to live her fairytale life with someone who is not as charming or loving as her prince appeared to be. I may never be poisoned by eating an apple inside of a cottage with seven dwarfs, but knowing that one of them was slightly different than the rest--I would do everything in my power to be their friend. 

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Neverland Series

 Background Story (Mini Version)

One of the sessions I attended at the NACDD conference in our nation's capitol last summer was titled: "Disability Book Week" - Disability representation in literature. For me, to admit that this session was legitimate would not be an understatement and I genuinely loved getting to learn something new within the disability population. The presenter was such an engaged speaker whose expertise left me in a lot of awe over how much they knew in regards to putting individuals with disabilities being represented in the most inspiring way possible. Did I forget to mention they had NINJAs in their slides along with so many other well known Disney and fairytale characters??? It was so much fun getting educated on something where disability is not being shunned in literature, but to help so many people get a more respectful and meaningful way of who we are. I cannot necessarily remember too much other than just being inspired--with how eloquent the presenter was being able to get their message out there and believe me, it was just simply amazing to learn about. 

LONG STORY SHORT---My mom ordered me last week one of their YA books recently and have gotten through more than most of it. I am currently reading the A Villainous Peter Pan Retelling - "Becoming Hook" and wow it's a lot dark and intense, but my goodness it is so much fun!!! I especially love that Tink is a part of the story in the sense of being there to help Captain Hook out in saving the lost boys. You will be amazed with how the storyline draws you into a world of magic and fantasy while trying to find out if the lost boys will be saved from their captor who used to be a good guy and now that is reversed into something that you need to read for yourself to find out more about :)

Free Write

Speakers Network Presentation (Wednesday Afternoon)

THIS WEEK---One of my colleagues and I will be presenting about the self advocacy movement to a very small group of individuals who need to know how important this subject is within the disability community. I am definitely if not slightly anxious with how this will turn out and genuinely hoping for the best outcome, no matter the awkwardness inside of that training room. After my mom and twin sister drop me off, they will leave somewhere to do their own thing while I'm busy with this presentation. 

31st Birthday Together (July 10th)

Obviously...I could not leave this out of here!!! I am excited for the chance me, my twin sister along with our best friends to celebrate our birthday a little bit earlier than usual. As far as plans go with this, I cannot wait to spend quality time with people I love so much and make a lot of new memories!! We are planning to attend a musical that I have never seen before and having dinner with our friends. (Stay tuned for more updates about this later!!!) 

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LATER THIS YEAR---I will have an opportunity to participate in something that I know is gonna impact my life forever. I am grateful to be able to do this with my colleagues on the speakers network & helping the new council members feel good about what they are getting themselves into. I don't necessarily have lots of details that can be shared right now, but I will make sure to post about this when I've got a clearer idea with how things are going to be. I am very excited to see what unfolds from this experience and just look forward to whatever happens along the way!!! 

Throughout my first three year term of serving on UDDC has been an incredible, rewarding, motivating & life changing experience. I will admit that this journey has allowed me to grow in ways that I never could have imagined were possible, which if you ask me is not an understatement. LONG STORY SHORT--- It has given me more opportunities to keep moving forward & not try to rework the past. I have continuously seen myself realize that the potential I have to do hard things and not worry about others think. I am truly grateful for the patience, unconditional love, support and kindness that my colleagues have never failed to share with me throughout my years of service. I can never repay them for their willingness to remind me of what I can do as well as elucidate things I may not quite understand. I especially loved the opportunity with being able to travel to Washington, DC to learn what other DD councils are working on and learning the importance of disability representation in literature, etc.

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Easy Choice

Where did those first three years go?? I can't even believe that my first three year term with the UDDC is almost coming to an end. How did that happen so quickly and not feel like I had just applied to be on this council yesterday. It has definitely been a rewarding experience for me to see first hand how valuable and important it is to share my opinion about things in the disability community, that either need to be fixed or immediately revamped in some way. I have grown so much in the first three years than I ever imagined--- which if you ask me is not an understatement. It has given me a lot of opportunities to travel to other states and learn more about what other DD councils are working on, which if you ask me is quite impressive as I reflect on the impact they want to have for individuals with disabilities. I am very passionate about being a good self advocate for others in the disability community who need their voices heard whether or not they feel confident to speak up. 

Serving on the UDDC has been nothing short of a dream come true!!! I didn't make it into the council four years ago, because I was involved with other leadership capacities and felt like it was the perfect route that needed to be taken so I could be where I am today. I am grateful to be a small part of something I can truly admit is a lot bigger than myself which if you must know is something I had always wanted to do. I am so blessed to continue serving alongside the best of the best and learning from them about what a true leader should be like has been amazing. I know there is a lot more for me to still learn and take away from this-- experience so I would love to continue seeing what other ways I can leave an imprint on the hearts of my colleagues. 

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Shout Out

 Happy Heavenly Birthday, Scooter!!! Thank you so much for being a part of my life for 14 and a half--almost fifteen years. You truly brought a smile to my face whenever I needed it most and made me feel extra special every time I was around. I am grateful that you taught me to have unconditional love and always see the best in every situation that life had to offer. Thank you for teaching me how to be a good person in this world and making others around me the exact same way. I love and miss you so much but know that you are watching over me everyday. I look forward to our happy reunion in heaven!!! 

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LATER THIS WEEK---I will be co presenting with one of my colleagues about a topic that neither one of us has ever presented on before. We are going to be presenting on the subject in regards to social security and work incentives for people in the disability community. I am hopeful things will run smoothly for us and we can make an effort to spread awareness of how important this is when it comes to living an independent life. I am grateful to have a few extra days to practice reading the script along with the slides I have to go with them. It's definitely paid off with being able to keep track of where I need to be and not over work myself too much.

It's always a delightful experience for me to present on topics that affect the disability community and being able to educate others about the potential we have to follow our dreams. I am grateful to have just recently hit the six year mark with being on the speakers network last month and doing whatever it takes to make sure my voice is being heard. 

Self Advocacy Conference (Two And A Half Weeks)

Nothing much about this as of yet---I can only hope to have an unforgettable time and learn some new things in regards to self advocacy efforts. I definitely look forward to making memories with my friends and doing all I can in my power to be an even better self advocate in the disability community. I can only hope to have an experience that leaves an imprint on my heart and continue growing more as a person in this community of people with disabilities. 

(To Be Continued)

Texas Getaway

My family vacation to Texas last week was certainly one for the books!!! I absolutely loved the pleasant weather we got to enjoy while being there and getting to spend much quality time with cousins was just a treat all by itself. It was such a delight for me to see where my cousins' families live and wow I never did quite realize what an unforgettable experience it would turn out to be. I definitely enjoyed all of the many sites and sounds Texas had to offer which if you ask me was not anything close to an understatement. I'd like to share with you some of the highlights from this vacation that I genuinely hope doesn't take all of my family another twenty years to do again.

Favorite Highlights:

- Sea World & going on some of the bigger rollercoasters was a lot more than I expected :) We also went to a couple of shows that you have to see to believe!!! I really liked getting to see my niece and nephew's excitement for some of the kid rides that I was able to go on with them. We had the best time ever getting to enjoy snacks at the park itself and learning about the variety of water animals that are currently at the park getting the help they need.

- Minus how incredibly popular the Alamo was in Downtown, San Antonio-- I really liked getting to learn about the battle that took place there and how many individuals sacrificed their lives to keep Texas what it is today was incredible. Luckily, it was not even that crowded with a lot of people and considering it was a day before the parade would take place. We also toured my cousin's dental office where he works & I can't even tell you how amazing it was to walk through as well as enjoy some delicious chocolate candy while being there!!!

- Visited the San Antonio Zoo and got to see a couple of animals who were there. It was obviously one of the hotter days we had but it was great to watch my niece and nephew feed a giraffe up close which was pretty cool to watch!!

- Spent quality time with my aunt and uncle who live in Georgetown, TX which is about a two hour drive from San Antonio. All of us were spoiled with delicious meals and treats galore which I'll admit was more than I think we needed, but none the less it was generous of our aunt and uncle to have nine of us stay with them.

Other Highlights:

- Poppy Festival

- Tour of Southwestern University where my uncle works :)

- Had a chance to meet my cousin's new puppies, which were adorable in more ways than one!!

- My cousin and his wife have a farm with three dogs, sheep, chickens, pigs, swimming pool and hot tub that I heard is really pretty under the stars at night, etc. I really liked getting to play with their five and energetic kids who never stopped to take a breather. We also played a card game that I was clearly not familiar with called: "Happy Salmon." I will admit that my cousin's kids were the real experts as it came to playing the game correctly and not messing up as much as I did. We also had a delicious lunch at their house and spent quality time being able to visit with each other. Did I forget to mention the part about one of the dogs chasing a chicken in the yard?? We also played baseball together which is one of those things that nobody in our family would think is fun and yet incredibly grateful that my cousin Amber encouraged me to participate!!! #LikeNoKidding #SoMuchFun.

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If my life were a movie, the name would be. . . (Journal Entry)

"My So Called Life." I'd probably want to share about my life's experiences living with fragile X and the many lessons I've needed to take away. I'd also include the ups and downs that have leaded me to where I am now. I think it would be important to help people in our community better understand who I am & how amazingly far I have come through everything life has thrown at me. I know it would be slightly awkward at times during this film for everyone to get an idea of what's it is like to be a person with an uncommon---genetic learning disorder and the ways I've been able to overcome it. My life is not perfect by any means whatsoever, but I have learned a lot with doing all I can to be a better person, self advocate, leader as well as mentor not only in our society- but within the disability community here in Utah. I may never at times--like what my learning disability is, but it has allowed me opportunities to make some of the absolute if not sweetest friendships with people who even though are different have so much to offer. I may never understand why I ended up stuck with something like this, but it has given me much more to keep learning and growing from everyday. I have definitely needed to put into perspective why things in life are not what we asked for but had to come to earth to be able to help others grow. 

(To Be Continued)

Free Write

Over the last couple of weeks, I have been journaling about random topics that have gotten my mind off things. They have given me a lot of unique perspectives on stuff and trying to do my best in making this somewhat of a high priority. I used to journal almost all the time until it was getting to be harder to keep my notebooks where they needed to be and they got torn apart easy. LONG STORY SHORT--I have just recently found myself getting back into this again and have quite enjoyed it more than I would have ever expected to. 

I am grateful for the many opportunities that I've taken to do much needed self care. I usually would think about this and never want to do much about it unless it was necessary in a time of anxiety getting into my path of where I need to be. I am definitely feeling so much comfort and peace from my Savior each day that passes on when I know things have felt more overwhelming than they need to be. I have been very much strengthened as I walk along this journey of life that has not always looked perfect-- but has just simply given me a chance to learn into the person I need to become. 

Some of these topics are:

My biggest fear that no one knows about is...

I wish I could invent...

If I could achieve only one thing in my whole life, that would be...

As you can see, this has allowed me so much unconditional love for myself and the advocate I want to be for others in the disability community. I may never understand a lot of what I am told from people-- but at the same time it has not always been easy to sink in either. I am definitely seeing a much brighter side of life than I have been able to see for a while and now I can only hope to feel reassured that all of this will be over soon. I have continued to remind myself that I can do all things with Christ and I know he will not ever leave me in a position that no one should see themselves up against. He has brought me a sense of confidence that I am stronger than I think and can overcome any trial that life throws into my path. He has guided me into the direction of my self advocacy that I need to be on and remember who I am in his eyes, regardless of what other people may think. 

He has allowed me to grow into the person I need to become and never lose sight of what his plan is for my life. I am grateful to him for answering my prayers and knowing that he will stick with me on every step of this journey. He knows that I am not perfect and have to allow him to walk beside me on what I know is going to benefit me more than I could ever imagine. 

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ONE WEEK AGO---I participated along with my twin sister and best friends in our seventh annual "Night To Shine" sponsored by the Tim Tebow Foundation. It was truly an incredible experience for all of us to be treated like royalty and have a prom night we'll cherish forever. I am grateful to have been a part of it once again this year and getting to celebrate who I am with so many other individuals with disabilities--was incredible. 

I was able to connect with some other friends whose faces I'd not seen in nearly forever and it was special to be able to catch up for a little bit. I really loved being able to have an event to keep my mind off things that have been going on in my life recently and just getting reminded of how important I am in this world, touched my heart. All of us got checked into the event after 5pm and immediately were assigned buddies who would give us our corsages before heading off to make our entrance on the red carpet. 

Shortly after that, we entered into the event with a scrumptious dinner and a beautifully decorated space with all the sparkle you could ever imagine!!! We quietly sat down to have our meal and then quickly did as many of the activities we wanted to participate in which included: (Cartoon Drawings of us in less than four minutes, limo ride, dancing the night away, laughing till our hearts were tired, drank sparkling cider on the way home, stay hydrated with water, enjoyed some treats as well.) 

Everyone was crowned a king or queen of the prom which if you ask me, is truly the greatest part of the event prior to getting a heartfelt message from Tim Tebow and his lovely wife Demi. It was definitely an amazing experience to feel the love of my Savior, Jesus Christ and know that everyday of my life, that he does see me as a queen. I am grateful for his unconditional love to me during the past couple of days and throughout my life on a regular basis. He is the one who has given me so much peace when I have needed it the most and has never left me alone when I needed to communicate with them. I am so grateful for his example of what it means to follow him and be one of his disciples that wants to strive as hard as they can to love others like he does. 

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Last Chance

LONG STORY SHORT----I reached out to one of my colleagues about a situation that I didn't want to see myself in and received some great advice. I'm not very good when it comes to being socially aware with people's boundaries and trying my hardest to maintain them. It's never easy when someone I have looked up to for a very long time, having to tell you things that you don't want to be reminded about & somehow it has allowed me to take extra time for myself. Instead of going into depth about this, I feel determined to whatever it takes to be a much better council member and advocate for a community that has such a special place in my heart. 

After speaking with my mom and other friends, it has definitely given me peace of mind. I may still have a very long road to walk down and yet I am grateful to not be alone in this journey. When it comes to me with expecting a lot from people and then I end up not getting it---I accidentally take things a little bit too far. I am incredibly grateful for the support and unconditional love that my friends have shared with me---during this very emotional time. They have lifted my spirits with their messages of positivity & allowing me a chance to slowly heal from something I didn't want to be resurfaced. I am hopeful with extra time on my hands that I will be able to see the bigger picture and move on with life as anybody else deserves. I am never going to make this mistake again and have a tough decision to make within the next several months, as I continue serving with the best of the best. I am obviously stuck in a position with deciding that if I am choosing to make this experience hard for me as well as others-- it would be really hard to leave behind all the lessons I was able to take away. However, I have one last chance to make a good impression & can just only hope to regain the trust of a colleague that I know needs to heal from this open wound as much as I need to. (To Be Continued)

Weekend Stories

Night To Shine 2023 - The Genesis Project (Ogden, Utah)

I'm incredibly excited for this long awaited prom night event to take place and celebrate who individuals with special needs are in God's image every single day. It is truly an incredible experience to be all dressed up in formal attire and dance the night away with thousands of honored guests like us from across the country. This will be my seventh prom with hosted by the Tim Tebow Foundation which sponsors Night To Shine every single year and they are an organization who continuously gives back to so many people who are in need & want help get back on their feet no matter what circumstances they are faced up against in life everyday. (Updates To Come)

USILC Meeting (Late February)

Serving on USILC as a council member has been at times such an incredible experience to adapt and learn more about how I can better improve the quality of life for individuals with disabilities in our states. I'll be honest with you here, it has felt like I will never know as much as most individuals that reside in the disability community. I genuinely will admit that I may not have as much experience like others do having served for years on various councils. This continues to be the biggest leap of faith I have ever taken as a self advocate and still hope to be the kind of disability leader, self advocate, mentor, colleague and friend that people I work closely with deserve. I may have made a fair share of mistakes with not handling situations as properly as I should have and can only hope to go forward without any stress or anxiety getting itself in the way. I have admitted too many times before that I am not perfect or even close to it. There is nothing I am more emotional about than when it comes to feeling like an outsider, which happens more often than it should. Minus how overwhelming this is for me, I am grateful to know there are so many supporters right in my corner who want to cheer me on every step of the way. (Stay tuned for more!!)

Mission Accomplished (Mini Version)

Over the past two days, I reached out to my legislators in regards to issues that the disability community needs addressed. I may not have heard from all of them at the same time or anything like that--but I am grateful to have gotten a chance to email these important people and let them know what funding we all need to continue on with our programs in the future. I did struggle at times today and over the past two days with trying to realize how simplistic and approachable this is when I am not overthinking about--literally everything on my plate. Did I legitimately somehow forget to mention it was over 16 legislators??? Yes, You did hear that right folks!!! Sixteen legislators I reached out to over two days about our ongoing funding that we need to keep our IL programs running smoothly at all costs. We are also genuinely asking to get funding so we can have an accessibility elevator put into our building so it is a lot easier for consumers who are in wheelchairs can easily get inside the center without any problems. But who knows what will be happening for us?? Only time will tell at this point :) 

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Final Trip

YESTERDAY---ended up being my last trip to the state capitol and learning about how to become a good self advocate within a community that I dearly love so much was incredible. I am obviously aware that my own involvement seemed at times just kind of like a glimpse into how much having my voice heard, matters.

I may not know too much about what so many individuals like me, are faced up with every day and yet I wanted to do whatever it took to make sure my voice was being heard. I participated fairly well in all the trainings we had scheduled which if you ask me, was a little more fun when I was able to give my input when it was needed. I still have so much more to adapt and learn along this journey, which is far from all being over in society. 

I was able to learn that sharing our personal stories means a lot to our legislators and getting our important message across is crucial. I am grateful for the many people who stuck with me throughout this experience and helped all of us realize that we can do anything--no matter how difficult it may be at times. I am truly grateful for the times I was able to bring a smile to the faces of my fellow colleagues and self advocates--who were in attendance. 

EARLIER THAT DAY---We did our self guided tour of the Capitol building and were able to listen in on one of the many sessions that was taking place. I definitely was able to watch and observe what all of our state legislators have to work on every single day throughout the legislative process. After we left from the session, all of us headed to where our next training would be and luckily it was not as crowded of a room like it was the day before. I really appreciated everyone getting a chance to share brief intros about themselves and why they were there with us at the capitol. 

We ended up taking a fairly good break throughout the training and having a chance to unwind for what seemed like a very long time, but it was much needed. Did I forget to mention we started with lunch & then went right into business with things? I definitely handled things a little better with my anxiety just being the way it is and trying to soak in what was being shared by people. I was grateful for the support with my colleagues who were sitting next to me and quietly cheering me on throughout the day, which I sincerely appreciated more than they could ever know. 

Legislative Reception (Mini Version)

This aspect of my legislative experience was definitely at times more overstimulating than I would have liked it to be. However, I was able to finally meet my representative in person and learn about how they genuinely care about what people with disabilities in our state need. It was definitely getting a little too much for me when I was clearly prepared to head out for the night and get home before the night went on any longer. I look forward to what the next year will bring and hope to not feel as intimidated or let alone stressed out with things. I was able to listen to some music when I needed something to take my mind off what was going on. I am grateful for what I am able to do and the people I get to work fairly closely with in our state, who are dedicated in making our sure the disability community has a voice, when it comes to having our needs met from public officials. 

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New Updates

NEXT WEEK---I will be making three trips to the Capitol building in Salt Lake with some of my friends to attend a legislative training put on by one of the governor appointed entities I serve on. I am grateful for the chance to learn more about how this all works and what I can do as a self advocate to make sure we're getting our voices heard. It is not always the easiest thing for me to walk up and communicate with people that I do not know very well about disability related issues. I may not have as much experience in regards to some of the things that are going on--but I do know it will make an impact with showing up and doing what I can to make a good impression. I do look forward to supporting my colleagues who work around the clock every day in making sure the disability community is a safe place for not only myself but every one else too. I am not sure how many legislators we will get the chance to visit and talk to at this event--but all I can do is my best with representing an organization that has such a soft place in my heart. If I am ready or not for this to take place next week--I better make sure I am prepared for a full day of being very educated & informed on what I need to do better. 

It's obviously not the most fun trips ever...but my presence will be needed as much as anyone else who plans to attend & learn what they can. I know things are going to be slightly technical and big words are gonna be used but the main purpose to do my best. I am grateful for the opportunity to do this in person without feeling so far away from people that I haven't been able to see for a while since our world during those crazy times. 

Mini Shout Out 

My best friend Danielle will be celebrating her 31st birthday tomorrow!!! I look forward to spending time with all of my friends and making some new memories with each other. We are going to meet up at Provo Beach Resort to play various games and then later head over to her favorite Mexican place for us to have dinner. I am grateful for her friendship and example in my life of what a good friend should be, which if you must know is very important and something I never mess around with. I cannot wait to see her tomorrow afternoon and catch up with what is going on in our lives. I wish her all the best not only now but in the coming year ahead!! 

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EARLIER TODAY----I participated on a meeting with an organization that asked me and my colleagues from the speakers network to introduce ourselves. It was incredibly short with not being able to share as much as I would have liked to in the moment-- but I am grateful to have been asked to participate. I am truly grateful for the opportunities being a part of the speakers network has given me and I look forward with more speaking engagements in the future. 

As I look into this new year, I know a lot of the same things in my life will continue and help me learn more about becoming a good self advocate. I still have challenges with trying to know where I fit into things and knowing my specific role is... but I legitimately hope for the best. I obviously may not have nearly as much expertise in certain areas like others do, but I am determined in trying to keep growing more as a person. 

Night To Shine 2023 - This unforgettable worldwide event returns back in a few short weeks and I cannot wait to spend the night away with my friends. We are definitely looking forward to getting the royal VIP treatment and making memories that I know will be talked about for years to come!!! I am grateful for a chance to finally see this get headed back in person and being reassured of God's love for me as someone who is different than most. (Stay tuned for more!!)

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