Untitled Post

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
With patience bear the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

This beautiful rendition performed by the well known Utah native, David Archuleta has become one of my most favorite songs to listen to of all time!!! I am so grateful for the powerful voice that he carries throughout this song and proclaiming a message of how our Savior, Jesus Christ is always on our side. He definitely bore all of our many burdens, tribulations, and everything we could not even begin to fathom ourselves alone going through while trying to do what Heavenly Father asked him to do. His continuous faith will remain with us whenever it feels almost unbearable to move forward in life's challenges and the blessings that come along with it too. I'm definitely not ever giving up on my Savior who continues to make it possible for me to strive in becoming more like him on a regular basis. He has certainly lead me into joyful ends more than once, after having faced some extremely difficult times in life that I never deserved to see myself go through. 

I am truly blessed to have been raised up in the church throughout my life and keeping a testimony of him with every trial that comes up in my path. I know this covenanted path isn't ever going to become any easier or let alone not have any stumbling blocks along the way, but it is through the one who knows me better than I can even begin to put into words about how things are going to turn out. I still have a lot more lessons to learn as everything that comes into my life teaches me something I need to understand.

He is going to provide a way for me and all of his children to return back to him, when the end of our mortal journey comes around. It is never impossible to not recognize his hand in our lives, when it feels like nothing more can wear us down without making us a little stronger and confident. I know that my life is never gonna necessarily turn out as well as I would prefer it to be at times, but he is in charge of how we choose to look around at our trials and understand that it is not quite as difficult as it may seem. 

I may never fully comprehend exactly how tough it must have been for him, to suffer all of the pains that we've ever had to face on this earth upon himself so we could endure through each of our spiritual journeys. I know it could never possibly become any harder for me to not snap my fingers and wish for those times to disappear--- but I am grateful to have the knowledge that I do in this world. I know that anyone who has passed onto the other side of the veil, is never too far away from me and continues to remind me of what I'm able to do in making some impact on others that surround me in my life. I know none of them could not imagine me not enduring through all of the many challenges that will never be a problem anymore, and just be completely made whole. This year has taught me many times about how fragile life is and holding onto those loved ones a little tighter, because we may not know when it could be their last day on this earth. 

With this heartbreak that is most likely going to take awhile for me to recover from, I know that any girl whose been through it can easily relate to what it feels like to deal with a situation like it. I am confident that there are only more lessons to take away from this experience and hopeful to meet another guy who can treat me in the right appropriate manner. I know there is a lot more for me to fully understand whenever it comes to being in a relationship with a guy and will not find myself rushing into something I wouldn't feel prepared for. Surprisingly, there has not been a tough time for falling asleep at night when this on my mind and wish it could easily fade itself away some place else. I know that when all of these feelings completely disappear out of my life and I'm willing to keep my trust in the Savior throughout it all. 

Shattered Heart

It's seriously been a difficult year for me in more ways than I could ever put into words right now, in this little blog post. I am completely and emotionally unstable to not feel completely shattered inside and outside with everything that has happened to me within these last two days, which I was not anticipating to turn out as great & successful as I would have expected.


I literally did whatever it took to not get emotional in front of people while being at this training and yet the tears immediately came to my eyes. It was also right when one of our staff members noticed me with red eyes and tears coming down my cheeks, that it would be next to impossible to not feel extremely hurt or upset let alone frustrated with what had occurred.



Aside from both of the meetings/workshops we had going on at this event, I was definitely able to learn some new stuff about how independent living centers are run and what is expected of those in charge. At the same time, I felt really discouraged with having to consistently listen to somebody mention someone who was such a part of my life for a long time and never stopped making me want to just yell at them to get this person to knock it off, but as for the person that I am in this world I ended up luckily I kept my mouth shut through most of it. It was extremely hard for me at various times during these two days, where I didn't want to not walk away from everything and just be at home. I never wanted to see this take place and make me feel like it wasn't that much of a big deal, but it only just led me into knowing that the person's true colors were beginning to show. 

I never wanted things for me at this event to turn out like they did... But unfortunately all of us need to learn lessons the hard way in life more than once. To also simply realize what it is trying to help me understand, when I did not want anything more to do with this and move forward on with other things instead. I really quite emotionally struggled with having to see someone that I really quite liked for a long period of time and then all of the sudden, things completely turn upside down when I was not prepared for it. 

Shortly after I returned home from this training, I immediately told one of our main staff members who was there in attendance at this day and a half training, about my situation and that this is gonna most likely get put to an complete end to what I had to go through this past week. I am looking forward to some of the changes that will happen from having self advocated for myself. I still have some little feelings left for the person who I literally want absolutely nothing to do with anymore and wonder if it's ever going to heal up over time or if it will take me an entire year and a half to move forward?? 

I'm really wanting this to all get in the past as soon as possible and let me find someone new whose just gonna treat me a lot better than I truly deserved times before this. I will not continue to be friends with someone who will make me feel less of myself than I really am and as a self advocate, it is not gonna continue on from here on out much longer... but if you must know I cannot handle stressful confrontations with people too well. I know it will never get much easier with any new person that walks into my life and wants to take things slow before thinking about getting serious. I am not ever going to feel as ready for a new chapter in life until this one closes and I can instantly start over with things that will make me feel more at peace with what I know my Heavenly Father wants me to be aware of. Here is a little quote that I hope can give someone out there a peace of mind, especially if they are going thru a heartbreak they never saw coming into their path at this time. I know there is someone else better in this world for me to get to know and take my time being around, so that when the timing is right (not only for him but for the both of us to start a new journey together... Everything from this will fall into place and be put back together again!!!) 

Gratitude - Part One

"Never let the things you want, make you forget the things you have."

This past year alone has literally been a very emotional and rewarding experience for me, in more ways than one. Some of the most unforgettable and hardest moments in my life have strengthened me into a better person as well as trying to strive everyday to become more like my Savior, Jesus Christ. I am grateful for everything that has given me a chance to reflect on the many blessings in my life, and if I can honestly admit--I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for those who have stuck with me through it all. I've had to really learn the hard way this last yer and a half about who my true friends are from those who never will be. It has never stopped me from wanting to express my gratitude for the many highs that this life has continued to show me, even if I didn't necessarily deserve it at the time. 

I am immensely grateful for the examples of my friends who have kept me in their thoughts and prayers through out this year. All of you have literally made me want to strive harder in this world to be a little better and recognize that everything happens for a reason, whether I've liked it or not. I am thankful for all the many laughs and fun times we have shared together, because it definitely reminded me that there is so much good in the world. 

I am truly grateful for the unforgettable opportunity that I have of volunteering in two different classes this year, at the neighborhood elementary school. It has literally been such an absolute treat for me to get better acquainted with the most incredibly talented & sweet teachers ever this year!!! I am thankful for your patience with me as I continue to learn new things from you both every week & making the best of any new task that you ladies give me to do. I am incredibly grateful for their credit into helping me become the best volunteer that I can be in this world and have really enjoyed being around their students each week. It has definitely been a challenge for me at times to not wish that there was more I could do in just helping them out with this, but I know it makes their days a lot less stressful when I can lend a hand with something they need to have taken care of. 

I am grateful for the power of prayer in my life, more than anything in this universe!!! I know it will never fail to strengthen somebody whenever things feel almost unbearable, that heavenly helps make everything better. During this struggling school year for a friend of mine, I have consistently prayed for them multiple times each day as much as I possibly can, because it has already given them a little bit of courage to endure through their struggles to get organized in their classroom. It seems like such a small thing to do for just anybody that we know and love, but it has strengthened me in ways that I never could have expected. I have tried to let this person know that I will never stop praying for them throughout this extraordinary school year and make the best of everything that seems difficult, some what easier in some way if at all possible.