Background Story:
I usually would give this a couple of more weeks till the end of the month, to share all of this with you guys---but obviously I could not keep it inside any longer. It's been one of the most difficult times in my life this year with everything that has happened and would only hope for the best to just let people know about my experiences. I will post more about this on my Facebook page when it gets closer but here is a preview of what I might or might not share on there with all of you.
As I have gotten to reflect back on this past year in 2018, I've definitely been given my fair share of unexpected twists and turns that I never imagined myself to go through. Like, not ever in my life would I have wanted all of the many things that happened throughout this year in ways like I wanted them to. I've continued to learn a lot of lessons along the way that have put my faith to the test and have just simply reminded me of how incredibly blessed I am.
This year was one of the most emotional roller coasters in my life and at times, I did not know what this year would turn out like to be what it has become. I've experienced unimaginable heartbreak that has left me not ever knowing what the future holds if I'd ever see myself in a relationship with a guy. I have never wanted things to turn out like this whatsoever and have not ever known what was going to happen along the road, has made me feel grateful to understand the importance of counting my blessings. I have absolutely more than anything in this universe have hated not being able to fully understand what this is trying to teach me at this time in my life. It has simply left me with needing to make a difficult choice about who I can trust and others who just will never come to terms with what it means to be a true friend.
I cannot even be someone's friend who made me feel like I was not any much of an example in their life, let alone not knowing if it meant anything to them in trying to be there for them when they needed someone to talk to. I really felt like they made me as though it didn't mean anything to them about how much it hurt me to see them that way. It was extremely hurtful for me to not have been there in more ways than one, whenever it felt like it was too unbearable for them to handle their situation. I also really tried to bear my testimony of how much I truly love this gospel of Jesus Christ on multiple occasions, but immediately just felt like I was continually getting a slap in the face for no apparent reason.
I've never wanted to feel so emotionally frustrated, riled up and extremely upset in my entire life. I'll admit, during this experience I never wanted things to completely get out of hand like they did & not ever knowing if I can even be around those people who made me feel less of myself than I needed to feel in that very moment. I literally needed to make all of this craziness just immediately come to an end and because I was able to let our staff know... something will be done in the future. I am not gonna tolerate being mistreated/rile up for no reason whatsoever and will not be around people who continue to make feel less of myself in more ways than one.
One of the most absolute hardest times in my life this year, was experiencing an unexpected loss of a friend whose life was cut too short. My good friend Josh was called back to his heavenly home about two months ago and he was never one who failed to make you feel good about yourself and to see things in a much brighter light. I am grateful for his example of what it means to always look for the best in other people around you and to never be afraid of what your challenges in life could teach you. I know he is never going to be forgotten and continues to always be in our thoughts everyday if not for the rest of eternity on this earth. I am grateful for his positive attitude that he continuously had throughout his mortal journey and inspiring so many people to just simply keep swimming and never let things that you are faced with, get in the way of what it could help you to become.
Unforgettable Moments:
Becoming an auntie for the first time to the cutest little niece ever!!! It has definitely been quite an incredible transition for me to fully understand just how much fun being an auntie can be. I am so grateful for the unconditional love that I have for my niece, Skye who never fails to put a smile on my face and remind me of how to be a little happier in this world.
Going to Mexico for a week vacation and spending time away in paradise was just what I needed more than anything in this world!! The weather was incredibly hot everyday and getting to wonder with all of the nature that I was able to see, it gave me a chance to reflect on how blessed I am to be living in such a beautiful world.
Meeting the one and only David Archuleta who I will admit right now is a lot cuter in person, if you ask me!!! His singing voice just melts your heart and makes you feel so much better about life. I felt incredibly star struck getting to see him walk into that dressing room and squealing with excitement that cannot even be put into words at this very moment. We love you so much David and thank you again for making that special day one that will never be forgotten!!! You are truly one of the most lovable singers out there and always inspire me to look up whenever life gets to be more difficult than it should be. I am grateful for all of the many times that your music has strengthened me to get through the trials that have come up in my life this year.
Being invited to my favorite blonde's surprise party at their parents house!! Loved every single minute of it than words could ever say!!! Getting to see them in the spotlight is truly something I know that I will never forget. It was literally such an amazing experience for me to be a part of an incredible and special day for someone who does so much for others. They are such an amazing influence not only in my life, but for so many people who would do any thing they could to make their day a little easier. This person has given so much of their time and energy into inspiring others to know that they are a strong person, as well as somebody who is a great example to those around them. I am grateful for the opportunity that I had to see them in the spotlight for once and celebrating them was a moment that I will cherish for many years to come!!!
Throughout all of these experiences in my life this year, I can honestly tell you right now that it has reminded me of one little lesson: "It's okay...Just keep swimming!" I'm grateful for the message behind this sentence because it clearly goes to show that we need to just keep going forward in life and not ever lose sight of what is most important.
