(I actually wrote this back in high school when we had the assignment to write up about anything that we wanted to, but it had to be exactly 500,000 words or more if we chose. This experience was one of the hardest things I had ever gone through and could not help but want to share it with you all today.) Please leave comments at the end if you would like to, but don't necessarily feel completely obligated to do so.
One Of Life's Hard Experiences...
One life hard experience I was faced with actually happened during the end of my junior year at Provo High. It was spring of 2009 and I was just finishing up my year of taking Modern Dance 2. In order to take Modern Dance 3, I would need to audition for Dance 3 and I really didn't know if I would be good enough to be selected..I didn't necessarily want to do it because I was nervous until I spoke with my dance teacher through an email message I sent. I felt really worried and confused inside wondering if I needed or wanted to try out for Dance 3. I could always stay in Dance 2 because I knew I was good enough for Dance 2. I cannot even describe how much emotional agony I had. The fact that I did not know how the audition process worked and what to kind of expect from it in the end just added to my anxiety. By the time I decided to tryout..I was really devastated to have unfortunately already missed the tryouts. I felt agonized because I didn't get the chance. It seriously hit me so hard in the back. I wanted to burst into tears of sadness and run into a small tight place in the dance room and just sit there. I really was ashamed of myself for the way I felt and wanted to talk to someone like my dance teacher in a quiet conversation face to face. I'm not one of those kinds of students who get dramatic about not making it into something so I tried to pretend it was okay. I was surprised at how hurt and isolated I felt for the remainder of the school year. It made me feel even worse to hear my Dance 2 teacher and classmates talking loudly about the auditions and how excited they were. I can't describe the loneliness those conversations with everyone in the classroom made me feel. I stood quietly by the gray painted pole in the dance room and tried hard not to cry. I honestly knew deep down..down inside of me that my Dance 2 teacher cared about what I was going through.
Everytime I heard someone bring up the subject of Dance 3 auditions and hearing the girls complain about their "sore muscles" and how long auditions went for I would get sad and angry all over again. It honestly took me forever to deal with that experience. I did okay in Dance 2 again the next year but missed my friends that were now in Dance 3. When auditions came around again the next year during my senior year I remembered how painful it was. When I was listening to my teacher and the other girls talk about Dance 3 auditions, I couldn't help but start crying again because I knew I couldn't try out this year because I was a senior. It was towards the end of their conversation when I standing two feet away from my dance teacher that I immediately started bawling my eyes out. I quickly walked up to my dance teacher and gave her the biggest hug I possibly could and I didn't let go until a few minutes later. I continued to walk with my dance teacher in the crowded noisy hallway of Provo High. She really understood and sincerely cared about my feelings. This entire life hard experience taught me to learn how to move on when the going gets extremely tough. Just forgive yourself and let it go completely. I learned a lot about courage and trusting yourself inside and out.
Everytime I heard someone bring up the subject of Dance 3 auditions and hearing the girls complain about their "sore muscles" and how long auditions went for I would get sad and angry all over again. It honestly took me forever to deal with that experience. I did okay in Dance 2 again the next year but missed my friends that were now in Dance 3. When auditions came around again the next year during my senior year I remembered how painful it was. When I was listening to my teacher and the other girls talk about Dance 3 auditions, I couldn't help but start crying again because I knew I couldn't try out this year because I was a senior. It was towards the end of their conversation when I standing two feet away from my dance teacher that I immediately started bawling my eyes out. I quickly walked up to my dance teacher and gave her the biggest hug I possibly could and I didn't let go until a few minutes later. I continued to walk with my dance teacher in the crowded noisy hallway of Provo High. She really understood and sincerely cared about my feelings. This entire life hard experience taught me to learn how to move on when the going gets extremely tough. Just forgive yourself and let it go completely. I learned a lot about courage and trusting yourself inside and out.
It's been hard to overcome a trial of life but I feel I have been uplifted as well as strengthened by it. Hopefully everything I face can help me to grow as a person as well as a dancer. It's really hard to estimate the important lessons of life and the tremendous comfort it shows in my challenges every single day. No matter how difficult my life gets I can always look back on this experience and feel like I can do hard things.
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