New Path

  Lesson I'm Grateful For: (Repetitive Story)

This last month I learned one of the absolute hardest lessons ever and didn't realize how much of an impact it would have on me to this day. I have definitely shed a lot of tears leading up to writing this lengthy blog post and not knowing if it was even a subject I wanted to refocus on. It has been a very emotional struggle for me to come to terms with knowing what is appropriate in handling problems, opposed to feeling like I'll never meet an individual's high pedestal of expectations. 

I've certainly not quite understood what personal growth I need to get from this experience and knowing my life has so much more to keep stretching itself into. I know it has felt at times for me especially not ever knowing if I am even the person qualified to serve on not one, but two governor appointed councils that have been around for quite a long period of time. I was only focusing on the one council that I just simply needed to take a leap of faith with and yet I am not certain if there is not other missing pieces of the puzzle that I need to find a spot for. 

Tough Boundaries?! (Part One)

These have been unfathomably difficult for me to understand what this really means and trying to not take offense to whenever someone tries to teach me a valuable lesson. I have stormed out of the room many times before not wanting to listen to what people have to tell me and not wanting to know much of anything else that they need to inform me about. 

Life has gotten more treacherous as I continue to pretend like what I've just mentioned is not bothering me or giving me a chance to persevere through the hard times. Believe me when I say that none of the lessons I have tried to take close to heart are not making me feel severely hurt inside. I deeply felt like no matter how many endless lists of mistakes I was gonna keep making in this world-- I was not even close to being sure if my places on those two councils would be taken away and given to another more qualified person??? I may not have expected all of the professionalism that I would need to have along with trying to make a good impression on so many remarkable people who I know have been in the IL world much longer than I ever have been in my lifetime. I am grateful for their patience with me as I've listened/observed/taken note on what other ways I can help to improve the lives of people like me, with trying to make their voices heard.