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Mini Conferences (Weekly Updates)

This mini leadership conference was truly one of the most heartfelt and unforgettable moments for me as a self advocate, disability leader, mentor and everything in between. It was definitely an experience that has already left an imprint on my heart and one that I can only hope will continue on into the future. I am truly grateful for the opportunities that I had to share a self advocacy experience as well as talking about what the NINJA Conference is with my friends. It was such a sentimental experience for me as I shared a brief description about how much that conference has changed my life not only as a person, but someone who legitimately does push themselves into learning hard things. (Not getting my hopes up about if I will be re-selected again for next summer's in person conference!!) 

One of the hardest things about this event for me was not knowing my boundaries with certain people are still in their place. Fifteen months later I legitimately wanted to feel healed & could start over on a clean slate--which if you ask me is a whole different conversation for another time. I wanted to feel at peace in the sense of what I have experienced in these past few months and still am not there yet. I certainly need more than anything in this world to just feel like I'm able to move forward and not make a complete fool of myself anymore. I am obviously still struggling with this part of my life and quite frankly--there is not any closure in sight for me at this point. More about this later!!! 

Mini Highlights:

- Learning the importance of self advocacy and leadership skills from the most amazing people ever, not to mention laughing with my friends along the way ended up being really fun too!!

- Cooling off in the summer heat with fun water activities outside and getting scrumptious snow cones that legitimately melted after being out in the sun. Telling stories with my friends and just learning the ways we can improve on our leadership/advocacy skills, which is something I take close to heart every day. 

Mental Health Status: (Unofficial)

I am still obviously in the midst of not knowing when my priorities will get themselves straightened up and have quite a long ways to go before things are back to normal. I still am not feeling like I can ever show my unconditional love with people that I continuously work with and it has killed me so much. I am not certain my anxiety will settle itself down any time soon and knowing the circumstances that I'll be in for as long as I am involved with my leadership roles is just chomping at the bit. I've been writing on this blog for five years now and cannot imagine what my life would be if I did not have something I could turn towards for extra help to sustain me. 

More Boundaries?? (Continued)

Anyone who knows me well enough can relate to the fact-- I have always wanted to leave an imprint on the hearts of people I associate and work with. It has been an absolute uphill struggle for me everyday-- with trying my hardest to not pretend like having boundaries with myself and others is not hard enough on me as it is. I wanted to leave an imprint on the hearts of those who joined us today during our small leadership conference, which I feel like I completely neglected to even think about doing and now here I am not sure what else I can do?!?!

(End Of Part One)