Untitled Post

After receiving some much needed advice--I have decided to give myself a chance and try this one more time. I will be attending yet another council training that should turn out a lot better than the one I attended four years ago. It was not exactly the kind of outcome I had wanted to see myself go through and yet there was not much of anything I could do to make things easier. I ended up with my feelings severely  hurt in a way that no one should ever have to face in their lifetime and somehow after standing up for myself in that situation-- I was somehow able to heal from that period. I definitely would not reconsider attending an event that I know will help me learn how to be a legitimate board member of a council that holds such a special place in my heart. Obviously, I may not even talk much or give any input on stuff that we discuss as a group, but I am confident it will feel a lot less traumatic than before. I am hopeful my anxious self will be in a good place which if ya must know still needs some work leading up to this and I can focus on what is at hand. I am truly grateful for the opportunity to serve on USILC and make improvements along the way which if you ask me is a lot harder than I would have anticipated. It has been an emotional rollercoaster for me to not feel out of place or be dealing with anxiety on a consistent basis whenever I join in on a virtual meeting or event. I am just simply doing whatever it takes to push through my challenges and not look silly whenever I share my legit input on stuff that needs to be addressed.

I am determined in trying to make this experience one that I can look back on with a smile and not have teardrops rolling down my face. I have definitely tried my hardest to maintain boundaries with people I closely associate with on a regular basis and not wish things could be easier. I still have a treacherous & long road of me to walk down but I can only hope for the best. I am fairly certain there will not be much for me to worry about once I arrive and get settled down into things. 

(End Of Post)