It was literally the absolute hardest experience of my life and one that I'm grateful to hopefully never face again in the distant future. I couldn't even have told you without tears running down my face with how incredibly scared I felt in those moments leading up to my dad surprisingly needing to have major surgery on his heart. I wished it had not taken place during a time when we had originally scheduled to do something really fun on the weekend of my mom's birthday. I cannot even begin to tell you how much emotional pain came into my heart, when I really just wished things could have all turned out completely differently than expected.
I completely felt like my entire world turned upside down & we had absolutely no idea that something such as this situation was gonna feel as close to home as it did. My grandpa had the same operation when he was in his early sixties and if that was not quite enough at the time, to see my own dad in this position scared me to death. It could have been a lot worse than it was at he time to find my own father, sitting in a hospital room and having a lot of people come in to help out with what needed to done. I was incredibly heart wrenched about all of this and did not know if I was gonna be able to handle it emotionally, somehow let alone wanting to not have a meltdown at some point down the road.
Obviously, I knew that he struggled with not being able to walk far distances let alone really do as much as he could to just simply exuberant himself into shoveling snow off the sidewalk and mowing the lawn when it needed to be done. To make a long story short, because I would rather not bore everyone who may be reading through my blog post right now, that it ended up being a successful operation and slowly had to be patient for what would happen next. One of the many things that I had considered not wanting to do at all was go on this camp out that my Independent Living Center scheduled for a couple of days up somewhere in American Fork Canyon.
It was not typically something that I wanted to go on and felt perfectly well with wanting to stay back from the adventure, so I could help out with my dad in his recovery. He was scheduled to go home from the hospital after a week of staying there and being monitored to make sure, everything went like it needed to go. It was extremely difficult for me to be on this camp out with my friends and not feel slightly like, I just didn't want anything to do with it at all anymore because life was too difficult at the time to be around other people.
I did join up with my friends to do this activity and I do look back on it now wishing that I had never participated in it to begin with. It really felt hard for me to be around people who are not members of the church and also simply doing things that I know are not good for you, but to them it is perfectly normal. I do know that it was an amazing opportunity to get outside and looking around at the beautiful world our Savior, Jesus Christ made for all of us. I am so grateful for him and his direction in my life everyday, because it has truly strengthened me to be a little better of a person & friend towards everyone else who has made such an impact on me.
I cannot even begin to thank you all enough for the faith and prayers, you all gave in our behalf. It was truly something that took a lot of unbearable moments for me, not to feel so heavy weighted on my shoulders. There were many times when I'd just want to burst myself into tears and not think of anything else through the rest of the day, but it gave me an opportunity to reflect on how amazingly simple this gospel is. Shortly after a couple of weeks, I returned back to the elementary school and one of my third graders asked me how my dad was doing--I genuinely responded with saying this:"He's doing super and home taking it nice/easy for awhile... But for me, it was incredibly difficult wanting to not talk about that stuff anymore. I just needed some time to let this all sink in and did notice that the third grade teacher was looking over at me, probably to make sure that I would not find myself being teary eyed in that very moment. From the time that I had told my friend, Miss B about what was going on with my dad.. I briefly sent her general little updates on my dad's recovery after his surgery. I really never mentioned much of anything to other friends because I did not feel comfortable with letting them know what was going on and how I'd felt about it all. I knew most of them wouldn't necessarily understand the seriousness behind everything and so for a person like me to share that stuff with them, never felt completely right either. I was more than grateful for all of the many prayers that people continuously did for our family, truly made me feel like I could handle anything that comes in my path. There is so much power in prayer and it's absolutely REAL without any shadow of a doubt in my mind. It definitely works miracles in more ways than anyone reading through this would ever think of them to and for me, I couldn't have felt less or more happy with how this all ended up.
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