Piece By Piece

Mixed Reassurance 

LAST WEEK--- I learned one of the hardest lessons ever and didn't realize how much it would impact me on such a deep level with reality. It's always been difficult for me to clearly understand boundaries around this day and age, because of the endless restrictions/guidelines that are consistently reminding me of what needs to happen in order for things to improve. One of the biggest questions that I have contemplated on for some time now is: "If the non profit organization that I'm involved with is not allowed under certain laws to provide services for individuals (like myself who struggle with anxiety), & Why am I seeing them post weekly Instagram stories about mental health awareness?!" Think about it for a second and let that question sink in!!!

Piece One 

One of the worst things ever happened to me without realizing it and quite frankly... I am not gonna take that lightly. I was purposefully excluded from an email message sent out to the other members of a legit youth leadership committee that I've been on for three years, only to find out the hard way about how we are all going to communicate through emails from here on out. I will not mention the name of the person who also purposefully lied about having talked with me earlier on the subject--which I did receive a very lengthy email message from someone else who knew it would be a sensitive topic for me to have to sink into my heart. 

Piece Two

After everything that this past year has left me with right now, I am ready for a chance to move forward and see what the next phase of my life will be. I am not writing up this blog post as a way to make any one feel worse about themselves or anything like that--but as a self advocate, leader, brand new youth member of two governor appointed councils--being kept away from this important issue was clearly- nothing short of unacceptable!!!

Final Piece

As you can imagine, this entire blog post has felt like a complete waste of time!!! I genuinely apologize to anyone that has read through everything (only to find how ridiculous this was for me to write up.) It makes me feel as though there is a much deeper way of looking at problems than to recount them over and over in my head. I have struggled with so much already and this on top of it is next to what I didn't want to deal with in my life right now... but knowing who I am inside and out is something I hold close to my heart. Yes, I am a sensitive person with a gentle heart and sometimes it is hard to not keep all my emotions hidden-- but I feel relieved to know there is a light at the end.