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Over these last couple of weeks, I have taken extra time to reflect on myself a little bit more and trying to understand what I can do just better. All of the experiences that have lead me to where I am now, were not anything but the happiest of times because I always felt like if there was a certain pedestal I needed to just reach in order to know how to be extra careful. I know it has been quite an emotional rollercoaster for me in realizing that it is perfectly alright to feel like I do and not assuming people will judge me for needing a moment to get settled down. 

Calming Music/Friendship

Whenever I need some peace of mind in my life throughout the week, I have occasionally listened to a song performed by my favorite artist David Archuleta. I remember going through a difficult time in my life and one of his many songs helped me to see outside of what was happening in front of me.. I know that my friend Josh would do anything to inspire others around him to look for the best in people. I am never remembering a time when he felt like what was going on in his life, was almost too much to take hold of or let alone face on a regular basis-- but he never let it define him in anyway. He always served people around him with a smile on his face and encouraging us to have the kind of faith, that he did to make it through any kind of challenge life handed to him. 

Coping With Boundaries?! 

I have always struggled with trying to keep myself distanced from people and not assuming I have this close knit relationship alongside people I look up to so much. It has been a very difficult transition for me to not pretend like this does not effect me on an emotional level-- but it does. I'm doing my best in making certain I am not over stressed about this new so called restriction I have to follow, which if ya must know I am quietly struggling with this new concept of reality. The health epidemic has made me feel as though once stuff is back to normal once again--will I even consider to keep these rules all the way back in my mind?!

I have not given any hugs to people outside of my own home for a year now-- which if you ask me is just another untold story to not bring up. I should easily feel grateful about this person who has put up with me through so much and I cannot fathom what kind of emotional damage that I must have caused them. I legitimately still feel really bad to this day about not having reacted different and there will never be an opportunity for me to take back what I felt or said in those moments leading up to the place I should be at right now. #OnlyTimeWillTell #TreacherousRoadAheadOfMe